


re (quested)

by onceuponaloonatic



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, I'm RAMBLING, in my cc or twit or tumblr, look me up on twit! my @ is @onceuponaloona, me just inserting the same ocs into different scenarios and hoping you guys don’t mind, or here, or tumblr! my @ is @onceuponaloonatic, please request, this is sort of a mess lol, you can give requests or comments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2019-08-14 11:59:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 58,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16492184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onceuponaloonatic/pseuds/onceuponaloonatic
Summary: requests from my various social medias / / you can request on my twitter @onceuponaloona or my cc @onceuponaloonatic or my tumblr @onceuponaloonatic! tumblr the's easiest because i have a prompt list and stuff but you don't have to follow the list or request there





	1. monsters aren't real (sachaeng, part one)

Sana awoke from her dreamless to the sound of clothed feet tip toeing across the bamboo floor towards her bed. She didn’t used to be such a light sleeper, but her daughter and her girlfriend really changed her sleeping habits. Sana cracked open one eye to find her little daughter with her eyes wide and tears on her cheeks while clutching her stuffed tiger like a lifeline.

“Nico baby,” Sana yawned and sat up, reaching down to lift her daughter onto her large bed. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s a monster, outside my room.” Nico sobbed, wrapping herself tightly around Sana.

“Baby girl,” Sana sighed and put her hand on Nico’s back. “Monsters aren’t real.” Sana bit her tongue at her own words, she needed to wait for Nico to fall back asleep to check if there really was something lurking outside their house. But the fact Nico was claiming to have seen something was a bit, unsettling. Even if Sana suspected it was the result of her overactive childhood imagination.

“But it is real mommy!” Nico insisted. “I saw it!”

“Do you want mommy to go check?” Sana asked, kissing Nico’s forehead. Nico nodded, her tiny face pressed against Sana’s chest. She was no longer crying, just breathing quick breaths while her eyes drooped. “Okay,” Sana stood up with Nico in her arms, she felt her daughter nuzzle closer to her, and she made sure Nico couldn’t see how Sana’s free hand ventured between the crack of the bed and the wall. She felt around for a few moments before pulling out a tiny silver pistol and tucking it into the back of her pajamas. She wasn’t wearing a holster, but she would have to make do.

Carrying Nico with one arm wasn’t as easy as it used to be, but Sana liked to think she was strong. Nico didn’t move her face from Sana’s neck, listening to Sana’s heartbeat in an attempt to ignore the terrifying childhood paranoia she was feeling. Sana thanked god Nico was preoccupied, she couldn’t bring herself to remove her hand from the silver pistol in the back of her pants. Once they reached Nico’s bedroom, Sana pushed open her baby’s door with her foot. There was nothing out of the ordinary. Their pet cat was sprawled across Nico’s bed and her sheets were in complete disarray but nothing out of the norm. Sana breathed out the breath she was secretly holding in, if there really was a monster, Nico’s bedroom would look a lot different. 

“Where was the monster baby girl?”

“Outside the window,” Nico pointed to her large window, the curtains were pulled back and you could see into their large backyard. Sana looked out the window for a moment, but she saw nothing for Nico to be frightened by.The gate was still locked shut, and everything looked perfectly in place. 

“Baby girl there’s nothing out there.” Sana turned to her daughter. 

“But mommy-”

“Nico monsters aren’t real.” Sana insisted. “Okay?"

“But I saw one outside!” Nico was sobbing again and Sana knew it would be difficult to argue with her. 

“I’ll go check for you okay?” Sana yawned. She really didn’t want to go outside, it was cold and wet and windy but Sana knows if she didn’t go check outside Nico might never fall asleep.

“Thank you mommy,” Nico whispered. 

“I’ll be back okay?” Nico nodded and buried herself under her light pink star patterned covers. Sana surprised a groan as she walked down their grand stair case and gently pried open the obnoxiously heavy glass sliding door, leaving the door slightly ajar as she looked around the yard. She took a deep breath in, Sana loved the post rain smell she was afforded by living in such a rural area. It smelled so different in the cities. She slowly descended the stairs of their deck before surveying the yard once again. Nico must have been imaging things, again. She groaned when she realized she still had her socks on and they were now wet and cold and Sana had to take them off. 

Sana sighed when she felt a strong wind blow past her. She heard the sound of a branch scrapping against the house and realized that’s probably what Nico was talking about. Children were spooked so easily, Sana realized for the nth time. Nico was just being paranoid. 

She took one last look around the yard, practically daring anything that lurked in the shadows to come at her. She nodded her head when after a few seconds, she was still standing at the end of the deck with her hand awkwardly hovering over just above her ass. She shrugged and decided she had looked enough to calm Nico, before she heard something behind her. Sana turned as quick as she could, her fingers making quick work to grab and release the safety on the gun tucked against her ass.

“Woah there is this how you greet your girlfriend?” Sana heard a teasing voice ask. She had to tilt her head a bit to look at the woman’s face, but she knew the voice better than anyone else. Chaeyoung was back. 

“Chaeyoungie!” Sana cheered, hand reaching over to turn the safety back on and running to embrace her girlfriend. “Your home.”

“Yeah I am,” Chaeyoung smiled. “Why are you outside at one in the morning in your puppy pajamas?” Sana had completely forgotten she was wearing her puppy printed pajamas. Nico had asked her to wear them and even if it was embarrassing Sana would do anything for that girl. 

“Nico thought there was a monster, but clearly she was just imaging things,” Sana explained, suddenly feeling self conscious about her attire. “Why are you in the backyard and not entering your house like any sane person would?”

“I was looking for monsters,” Chaeyoung smirked a bit. Sana rolled her eyes at the childish phrasing before leaning in and pecking Chaeyoung’s lips. Chaeyoung didn’t fight her, and the shorter one wrapped her arms around Sana’s neck. “You can tell the princess there aren’t any.”

“How was the mission?”  
“Well I think I broke my finger, but other than that it’s fine,” Chaeyoung shrugged.

“Let me see it,” Sana groaned. 

“See what?"

“Your finger dumbass,” Sana nodded her head.

“Don’t worry babe, Jihyo already bandaged me up after I dropped my bike at Tzuyu’s shop on the way here. I had to pay an insane cab fare, so you should be happy I love you.” Chaeyoung smiled at Sana, uncurling one arm from Sana’s neck to show her her hand. There was a white bandage on her pinky finger, and it looked like it had been set with a piece of wood. It was rudimentary, but Sana supposed it worked, for now. If it wasn’t one am, she would care a lot more, but at that hour of night, Sana wanted nothing more than sleep. 

“I should go put Nico back to sleep, make sure she knows there’s nothing to be afraid of.” Sana yawned. “Can you get back to the bedroom yourself or do you need me to carry you too?”

“Sana I’m not drunk,” Chaeyoung pouted before leaning in and giving Sana the softest peck to the nose. “Kiss Nico for me okay? I’ll surprise her with pancakes tomorrow I’m sure she’ll love it.”

“Always one for the dramatics aren’t you Chaeyoungie?” Sana teased. 

“You know me babe,” Chaeyoung yawned.

“I do,” Sana giggled and wiggled out of Chaeyoung’s embrace. “And I know you exhausted, go to bed.” Chaeyoung nods sleepily at the suggestion, and Sana finding herself yawning too. Chaeyoung pecked her cheek before going back into the house, grabbing the gun that was tucked into Sana’s waist band cheekily.

Sana gave one last scan of the backyard. There was nothing there. No monsters. No murderous animals. Just their damp backyard taking a quiet bath in the moonlight. 

 

xx

 

“I think Nico is old enough for trick or treating,” Sana suggests the next morning as their waiting for Nico to wake up, a pen tucked under one finger and her eyes focused on Chaeyoung. 

“You think?” Chaeyoung asked, her eyes trained on a bowl of pancake mix in front of her. 

“She’s already three babe,” Sana knew about Chaeyoung qualms with the idea, but Nico was at the age where she could go trick or treating and get extra candy because she was so damn cute and Sana wanted to capitalize on that and steal some of her baby’s candy. The town they lived in was so tiny anyway, the chances of Nico getting kidnapped were extremely low. 

“Shouldn’t we wait until she’s five or something?” Chaeyoung asked, kicking Sana playfully under the dinner table, where they sat across from each other. 

“She asked to go Chaegie.” Sana sighed. “Besides, this place is tiny, it will be really easy to keep an eye on her.”

“I suppose,” Chaeyoung sighed. “When is Halloween?”

“Tomorrow,” Sana ripped her eyes away from Chaeyoung to look past her at the clock on the wall.

“Really? Man, time sure does fly by fast, I thought it was still mid October.” Chaeyoung smiled slightly. “I’m okay with Nico going, so long as we both go with her.”

“Yeah of course,” Sana muttered. “Hey it’s already nine Nico should be awake by now, I’ll go wake her up.” Sana sighed, untangling Chaeyoung’s leg from her’s.

“Babe it’s her day off let her sleep in.” Chaeyoung pouted, re-tangling her legs with Sana’s in an attempt to get her to stay.

“She never sleeps past eight thirty, the fact she’s still asleep is concerning.” Sana responded. “What if she’s sick?”

“Okay fine, point made, go check on our princess,” Chaeyoung sighed and let Sana go upstairs. Waking Nico up was never easy, but Sana was practiced. She practically dragged the child down the stairs and Nico instantly awoke at the sight of Chaeyoung making pancakes. 

“Umma!” Nico screamed. “Umma your home!”

“Yes Nico I am,” Chaeyoung smiled and wrapped one arm around Nico’s back. 

“You’ll stay for a long time this time, right?” Nico asked after hugging Chaeyoung for a few moments. 

“We’ll go trick or treating together tomorrow,” Chaeyoung changed the subject, enjoying how Nico’s face shifted into a huge smile. 

“Really?”

“Have I ever lied to you?”

“No, never,” Nico giggled. “Where were you this time?” Chaeyoung looked up at Sana in panic. Nico asked the question every time she came home, and she never had an answer. She couldn’t bear lying to Nico, at least more than they already had, but Nico could never know the ugly truth of this world. CHaeyoung wouldn’t let her. 

“I went to Seattle this time baby,” Chaeyoung sighed. It wasn’t really a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. 

“Where’s that?” Chaeyoung sighed and bent down to pick up Nico and pull her onto her hip, still watching in pancake on the pan. 

“It’s really far away,” Chaeyoung exaggerated. “All the way on the other side of the country.”

“That’s really far…” Nico muttered. “Wait Umma your making Micky mouse pancakes!” Nico cheered when she looked down.

“And guess what they have them?” Chayeoung  asked her daughter, who’s eyes were sparkling in excitement. 

“What?”

“Chocolate chips.” Chaeyoung smiled at her daughter. 

“Chocolate!” Nico cheered before giving Chaeyoung a long kiss to the cheek. “That you Umma, I love you.”

“I love you too baby girl, but please go brush your teeth.” Chaeyoung playfully used the hand she was using to hold the spatula to plus her nose. “Your stink.”

“Umma!” Nico pouted, Chaeyoung laughed at her and set her on the floor, Nico immediately running towards Sana to embrace her other mother’s leg. “Mommy Umma is being mean.”

“Is she?” Nico nodded. “But she’s just telling the truth little one.”

“Mommy, not you too!” Nico screamed. 

“Once you brush your teeth it’ll be all better love.” Sana giggled at her daughter. “Come on, I’ll help you.” Chaeyoung turned to her longtime girlfriend and daughter and her heart swelled. Nico was practically hanging off of Sana’s legs and Sana had that motherly smile on her face and honestly she loved them both so god damn much. She wished she could come home more often. But, it was for their protection, Chaeyoung reminded herself. It was for them, it always would be for them.

xx

 

“Chaeyoung no,” Sana whined as Chaeyoung held out a blue and red costume. “That’s inappropriate, we’re taking our child trick or treating not going to a party.”

“Come on princess, it will be fun.” Chaeyoung laughed. “I’ll be the clown prince and you can be my queen.”

“But I’ll be wearing a crop top and cut off shorts,” Sana whined. “The other parents will think I’m a slut."

“No they won’t,” Chaeyoung laughed and nodded her head. “Especially when we’re together, it’s the perfect couples costume.”

“Babe the joker was abusive-”

“Yeah but I’m not, it will be cool, we’ll be each others partners in crime, we’re both more than a little crazy sometimes, it will be fun to dress as wild as we feel.” Chaeyoung smirked, knowing she had won the argument. 

“We have a three year old.”

“But we’re in our mid twenties, three year old or not we’re still living it up when we get the chance to.” Chaeyoung laughed. “I’ll do your makeup for you.”

“Fine,” Sana groaned. “But if Nico gets nightmares it will be your fault, and you’ll have to be the one checking for monsters at one in the morning in your pajamas.” 

“Deal,” Chaeyoung smirked at Sana before leaning over and kissing her lips. “My queen."

“Flattery will get you everywhere Chaeyoungie,” Sana whispered, pulling Chaeyoung close by the collar of her shirt so her girlfriend fell on top of her. “You want to go wild while our baby sleeps?”

“Oh Sana,” Chaeyoung smirked. “I would be more than happy too.”

xx

 

“Is Nico supposed to match us too?” Sana asked as she adjusted the wig Chaeyoung had bought for her. After telling Chaeyoung their Halloween plans Chaeyoung and Nico drove all the way to the city an hour away from their house to go to the good costume shop. Chaeyoung wanted to go all out, and Sana found it pretty cute. “Last I checked she was pretty dead set on being a princess.”

“She still wants to be a princess, couldn’t really talk her out of it, plus there was really no way she was going to match us anyway. The Joker and Harley Quinn aren’t the most child friendly costume,” Chaeyoung mused as she applied bright red lipstick to her lips.

“That will be a look, the Joker, Harley Quinn, and a princess.” Sana laughed at the thought. “How long are you going to hog the mirror.”

“Well considering the fact I plan on going all out you might as well go get Nico ready now, you can come back in here later, I should be done by then.” Chaeyoung smiled at Sana, who was staring at her through the mirror.

“I’ll go get the child ready, don’t do anything stupid, and don’t use all the face paint, I’m going to need a lot for my costume too.” Sana reminded. 

“I won’t my queen,” Chaeyoung smiled at Sana through the mirror and Sana rolled her eyes before leaving the bedroom. 

 

xx

 

“Umma!” Nico shirked as she was lead into the bedroom by Sana. “You look so scary!” Nico giggled, not frightened in the slightest by Chaeyoung appearance. 

“Really now? Thanks love.” Chaeyoung laughed. “Aww look at you, your so cute,” Nico ran into Chaeyoung arms and smiled as she was picked up by her Umma. Chaeyoung fiddled with the hem of Nico’s pink dress before pecking her forehead, laughing at the makeup that stuck to Nico’s forehead, but making no effort to remove it. “Uh babe, you done staring?” Chaeyoung teased her girlfriend, who was staring at her in shook. 

“Holy, you look really good, like really good Chaeyoung, also your hand is a freaking work out art.” Sana muttered, taking in the appearance of Chaeyoung in a dark jacket and slicked back sprayed green hair.

“Thanks babe, you ready to put your makeup on?” Chaeyoung asked and moved away from the vanity, Sana sprinting over and closing her eyes. “Nico love why don’t you watch some TV while Umma finishes getting Mommy ready?” Nico nodded and scampered off once CHaeyoung put her down. CHaeyoung knelt beside Sana and picked up the face paint, gently applying it to her face. “Sit still for me will you my queen?”

“S-sure,” Sana stuttered, trying to conceal the way she pressed her legs together. 

“You know, for the record, you look hot as fuck too,” Chaeyoung whispered in Sana’s ear once they heard the sound of a Disney show blasting from the bedroom. Sana blushed and decided maybe Christmas isn’t her favorite holiday anymore.

 

xx

 

“Mommy, look how much candy I have,” Nico smiled as she showed Sana her little pumpkin full of candy. 

“I know, you’ll never have to ask me to buy you candy ever again,” Sana smiled and pinched Nico’s cheek. “But for real sweetheart, it’s getting late, I think it’s time we go home.”

“But we only have one more street,” Nico whined. “Please?” Sana looked at the dark sky and groaned. They really shouldn’t be out this late, it was Halloween and teenagers always did something stupid and Sana’s gun had been left at home and those, things, were nocturnal. 

“Come on Sana, it’s only one more street,” Chaeyoung argued.

“Alright, fine,” Sana groaned, tightening her grip on Nico’s hand. Nico grinned at her and released her grip on Sana to fish out a piece of candy for her.

“Thank you mommy,” Nico smiled and offered Sana a fun sized candy bar. 

“Oh Nico you don’t have too,” Sana nodded. “You can keep it baby.”

“I’ll take her candy Nico-ya,” Chaeyoung grinned.

“Mommy?” Nico asked. 

‘Give it to Umma, if she really wants it, she can have it.” Sana sighed and Chayeoung looked at her weird as Nico handed Chaeyoung the piece of candy. Once Nico’s hand was free, Sana grabbed it once more, making sure it was secure. She felt, off. She couldn’t really describe it. But there was a nagging feeling inside her, telling her to go home. 

 

xx

 

She should have listened to herself, because around the last once they were greeted with a low growling. And it wasn’t just a dog. Sana pulled Nico close to her, the child frozen at the menacing sound. She looked around for the source of the sound, and she knew Chayeoung was looking too. She head a rustle in the bushes before the thing jumped out at her. It looked uglier than any monster, it’s face winked and shriveled up and it’s fangs positively dripping and it claws out pointed right at Sana. Nico screamed and Sana reached for her holster only to find nothing in it’s place. She panicked, her eyes squeezing shut in anticipation while her heart nearly leaped out of her chest, and held Nico closer to her only to hear a loud gunshot reverberate across the dark night. 

She cracked one eye open to see Chaeyoung standing by her side with her own silver pistol in hand and a terribly serious look on her face. Chaeyoung looked at the thing curled up on the ground, twitching as dark brown blood oozed out of it. Sana covered Nico’s ears before Chaeyoung shot the barely alive thing once more. 

Nico was trembling in her arms and Sana sighed as she went over to Chaeyoung’s side, holding her hand tightly. 

“Are you okay?” Sana asked her girlfriend, who had shallow breaths as her arm went limp. 

“Yeah, just, that was a really close call,” Chaeyoung sighed. “I’ll go get rid of the body.”

“You sure you can do it alone? That’s the biggest one we’ve seen in awhile.”

“Nico needs you more than I do,” Chaeyoung pointed to the child who was still curled into Sana side. Sana picked her up and felt her thin shirt getting covered in tears. 

“Nico,” Sana sighed. Nico wasn’t supposed to see that. She wasn’t supposed to know.

“Mommy,” Nico sobbed. “You said monster aren’t real!”

“I know Nico- I know,” Sana sighed. “That’s not a monster, that’s something much, much worse.” 


	2. monsters aren't real (sachaeng, part two)

Chaeyoung sighed as she flicked through the postcard section at the dingy gas station she had sought refuge in. She sighed when she realized she hated all of them, they all looked like stock photography of the same building or had long biblical quotes Chaeyoung didn’t even want to read. She looked out the window, only to find the snow still falling at the same pace as it had earlier. She really just wanted to get home, she had been gone for the last two weeks and she was exhausted and wanted a long shower and a kiss from her girls before falling asleep cuddled with Sana by the fire place. 

But Sana would murder her if she tried to drive in this weather. She had already sent a text to her girlfriend explains she was stranded thirty minutes from town in the sketchy gas station they had made out in once before Nico came around. Sana responded with a simple, “stay safe, I love you” text. She sighed, her phone only had about twelve percent battery left and her coffee tasted like shit. She took another sip of the cheap coffee and winced as it burned down her throat.         

She glanced around the gas station once more, there was only one other patron stuck with her and a bored teenager who had his face buried into a magazine. Chaeyoung knew he was reading a porn magazine underneath, he had a flush on his cheeks and he really wasn’t being discreet and he didn’t look the type to be into cosmopolitan. She knew the kid, everyone in town knew each other, and if she wanted she could tell his parents about his risqué endeavors. But she decided against it, he was just a bored curious teenager. She was the same way at his age. 

The other patron, a man looking to be in his early fifties had an unlit cigarette hanging out of his mouth and the distinct smell of smoke really was triggering Chaeyoung. She promised Sana to stop, but dear lord she could use a cigarette right now. But she wouldn’t give in. If she did, she wouldn’t stop. She feared she would get kicked out of the house, Sana hated the smell and Nico had asthma. She settled for digging out some peppermint gum from her pocket and chewing it aggressively, trying anything to get rid of the temptation. It helped distract her, and Chaeyoung felt a bit less on edge than she had a moment ago. 

After finding a spot to sit in the corner of the dirty gas station floor Chaeyoung unlocked her phone. Her service was spotty, and just sending a text to Sana had taken nearly twenty minutes, so she didn’t expect an answer anytime soon. She settled for scrolling through old photos saved on her phone, she didn’t have to connection to do much else and she wasn’t going to feed her subway surfers addiction when her battery was so low as it was. 

Her camera roll had a lot of pictures of Sana, and a lot of pictures of Nico. Her all time favorite would always be the one taken right after they found out they had been approved to be Nico’s guardians. Sana had this huge smile as she held the baby, still wrapped in the same cloth they had found her in, and Chaeyoung melted just a bit more every time she saw it. 

They didn’t have Nico’s blanket anymore, it had turned into evidence long ago and was cursed to sit in a Korean police station collecting dust for all eternity. She was surprised Nico still had it when the photograph was taken, there was very clearly blood stains on the pink cloth. Chaeyoung pushed those thoughts away, they were far far away from Korea. Far far away from whatever killed Nico’s real parents and far far away from their problems. Nico didn’t know yet, she knew she was adopted but she didn’t know about her mothers complex history. Chaeyoung hoped it stayed that way. Nico had learned too much about their dark sides recently. 

Chaeyoung groaned and took another agonizing sip of the supposed coffee. She needed to get out of that gas station. She glanced at the snow once more, it had lightened a bit and Chaeyoung figured it would be fine for the short ride home. She sighed in relief before cruising herself for just now realizing she had to pee. She debated holding it, but realized she could get stuck in the snow and if she was going to freeze to death she didn’t want the police to find her and she had peed herself before death. She threw the cheap coffee in the trash the first opportunity she got, taking satisfaction in the sound of the heavy cup hitting the bottom of the trash bin. 

She found the disgusting bathrooms stuffed into the back of the restaurant and was bombarded with memories of the time her and Sana had made out with each other here. They were young teenagers and the person on duty had left to smoke and they couldn’t hold themselves back. Chaeyoung had been willing to go all the way right there in the bathroom but Sana had been horrified by the gas station bathroom and insisted Chayeoung take her home if she wanted any action. Chaeyoung had done so without a second thought, of course. 

Chaeyoung felt the hairs stand up on the back of her neck when she heard a ruffling noise behind her. She turned only to find nothing behind her. The boy at the counter looked ready to cream his pants and the older man was playing with the slots machine. Chaeyoung sighed and decided to let it go, opening the door to the bathroom and going inside. They had replaced the door, at least from what Chaeyoung had remembered. She heard the sound again, this time from outside and she cursed because her pants were halfway down and she had to pee. She decided to pee as fast as she could before washing her hands with water and running out of them bathroom, her hand on her firearm tactfully concealed in her jacket. She went through the fire exit and looked around. There was nothing there. Chaeyoung exhaled on relief. 

But she froze when she heard the sound once again. She pulled her pistol out and cocked it, scanning the area as best she could. Everything happened too fast as the beast kept out at her. Chaeyoung shot it down mercilessly. The beast let out one final cry after her clean shot to the head before Chaeyoung looked at it. It was a young one, probably too stupid to realize that it was making that much noise. She looked at the body, it’s blood leaking onto the snow dying the beautiful white snow an ugly brown.

She picked up the thing carelessly before throwing it into the dumpster, closing the lid and hoping the trash came sometime in the next twenty four hours. She grabbed a handful of snow to cover up the colored snow and she dated off her hands before looking at the open fire door, praying to god no one heard the gunshot. She didn’t want to risk going back inside, so she went around the side of the building and got on her bike parked in the corner of the lot. She started it up, the snow sticking to her jacket as she climbed on. She let out a silent prayer before driving out of the parking lot. 

 

xx

 

“Son Chaeyoung!” Chaeyoung sneezed as Sana pulled her inside the house. “I thought I told you to stay put!”

“Couldn’t stand to be there any longer love,” Chaeyoung shrugged after pulling off her thick coat, pulling her arms close to her as shivered. “I got here in one piece didn’t I?”

“You could have died asshole,” Sana putted, wrapping the blanket she had previously wrapped around herself around Chaeyoung. “Go take a hot shower before you get sick.”

“Babe?” Chaeyoung asked tentatively. “Are you mad?”

“No,” Sana pouted. 

“Then can you make me some hot chocolate?”

“No,” Sana pouted even more. “Nico’s bedtime is in an hour and if you get to have hot chocolate she gets to have hot chocolate and you can see where I’m going with this.”

“Can’t she stay up late? She’s in preschool it’s not like she’ll have any makeup work if she skips a day.” Chaeyoung wrapped her arms around Sana. 

“Your teaching her to be a delinquent.” Sana pushed Chaeyoung away. “Shower, then we’ll talk.”

“Okay,” Chaeyoung sighed. “I love you, and I missed you."

“Yeah yeah,” Sana rolled her eyes. “I love you too, but I can’t kiss you if you die from hypothermia.”

“Umma!”

“Nico baby I told you to stay in the other room-”

“Oh hello princess,” Chaeyoung smiled and bent down so Nico could hug her. “Or should I say monkey?” Nico giggled as Chaeyoung noticed she was wearing her sock monkey pajamas.

“How was the trip?”

“It was fine Nico, thank you for asking,” Chaeyoung pecked Nico’s cheek.

“Nico baby Umma needs to take a bath, she was out in the cold and she might get sick if she doesn’t.” Sana informed the child. Nico hugged Chaeyoung tighter and Chaeyoung laughed.

“Umma don’t be cold!” Nico chanted as she hugged Chaeyoung tighter. 

“I’m not cold anymore,” Chaeyoung smiled and kissed Nico’s cheek. “Thank for that monkey.”

“See Mommy? Umma’s not cold anymore, because of magic hugs.” Nico turned to Sana.

“Yeah Sana, magic hugs cure everything.” Chaeyoung smiled at her girlfriend. 

“Stop being cheeky, both of you,” Sana groaned, fighting off a grin on the corner of her lips. 

“Umma,” Nico looked up at Chaeyoung’s face. “You have something on your shirt.” Chaeyoung looked down and found exactly what Nico was talking about. She groaned when she saw the dark brown substance on her white sweater. It would never come out, and she liked this sweater. “Was there another one?”

“It wasn’t anywhere close baby, they can’t hurt you,” Chaeyoung whispered reassuringly. 

“You promise?” Nico held her tiny pinky out and Chaeyoung nodded. 

“I swear princess.” Chaeyoung intertwined her and Nico’s pinkies before standing up and facing Sana.

“Chaeyoung go take a shower, Nico why don’t we finish watching our movie okay?” Sana told the two.  

“Mommy,” Nico whined.

“Nico,” Sana mimicked. “Movie or early bed time kiddo.”

“Fine, movie,” Nico grumbled, releasing her grip on Chaeyoung. 

“I’ll be down soon princess okay?” Chayeoung smiled at Nico. “I seriously think your mad at me,” Chaeyoung commented once Nico had run off. “I’m sorry for driving home in the snow baby. I missed you so much and it wasn’t even that far. I swear.”

“Your bike Chae, I saw it when you pulled in, the tires look destroyed.” Sana sighed. “What happened?”

“Since when do you know so much about motorcycles?”

“Chaeyoung I rode them for like three years.” Sana answered casually.

“Really?” Chaeyoung asked in shook. “Why didn’t you tell me? And why are you now driving a car?”

“Well I quit when I moved to Korea, I had mine in Japan and my father wouldn’t let me take it to Korea because he was mad at me for choosing to go study there for my last two years of college. Anyway this isn’t about me, what happened?"

“Don’t worry about it babe, the roads were really rough in Arizona okay? I couldn’t control it, the road ate up my tires.” Chaeyoung offered Sana a weak smile.

“Your telling the truth?”

“Scout’s honor,” Chaeyoung told Sana in English. 

“What does that mean?” Sana asked as she arranged the blanket draped over Chaeyoung’s shoulders. 

“I don’t know, one of the boy’s in town told it to me and I’ve had it in my head ever since.” Chaeyoung laughed. “But I think it means I’m telling the truth.”

“Alright fine,” Sana sighed. “I was just scared. I’m sorry for being a bit strict.”

“It’s okay baby, I know. You weren’t being that strict, I could tell it was because you care.” Chaeyoung sighed, rubbing Sana’s arms reassuringly. “I love you.” Chaeyoung leaned forward and kissed the taller girl’s lips and Sana instantly melted into the kiss. 

“I love you too, but please go shower your lips are freezing.” Sana muttered after they pulled away.

“I will,” Chaeyoung laughed. “I’ll be down in a bit,” Chaeyoung winked at Sana before running upstairs and taking a quick bath before returning downstairs. She smiled when she smelled Sana’s peppermint hot chocolate. She found her girlfriend and child in the kitchen and she was quickly handed her world’s best umma (she had written Umma in herself in messy handwriting with a permanent marker, and Chaeyoung wouldn’t dare smudge it)  mug Nico had given her last mother’s day. She laughed as she and Nico got matching whipped cream mustaches and Sana laughed with them as she cleaned up. They watched another movie before Nico came down from her sugar high and fell asleep against Chaeyoung. Chaeyoung carried her to bed before returning to Sana. 

“Where was it this time?” Sana asked once she returned and Chaeyoung felt the atmosphere change. 

“Behind the gas station,” Chaeyoung sighed. “It looked young too.”

“There’s been more and more of them around here recently. Two in three months is a new record.” Sana sighed. “And you’ve had to go out on more and more missions…”

“Mina’s already looking into it, she said not to worry so I’ve decided to hold off on my worrying for now.” Chaeyoung sighed. “Hopefully it doesn’t mean anything.”

“Yeah, I hope so too.” Sana muttered as she hurried herself in Chaeyoung’s chest.

xx

 

“Nico, baby, it’s time for school,” San whispered to the sleeping child.

“I don’t wanna go,” Nico rolled away from Sana in her bed. 

“I’m afraid school’s not optional love,” Sana muttered before reaching down and lifting gate child out of bed. “Let’s get dressed okay?”

“Fine,” Nico groaned as Sana set her down and changed her out of her outfit. 

“You really are a princess aren’t you?” Sana teased. Nico yawned and rubbed her eyes as Sana buttoned up a pink sweater after dressing her in a white dress and pink leggings. “All done baby, I have a pastry for you downstairs, Umma went out early and got one for you.” Nico nodded and clung to Sana as she carried her downstairs. “Chaeyoung can you go get Nico’s white coat for me?” Sana asked her girlfriend once she got downstairs, Chaeyoung nodding and running off to the coat closet to pull out Nico’s warm white jacket. Nico was still half asleep as Sana buttoned up her coat before handing her a chocolate chip pastry to nibble off of. Nico took small bites and slowly became more awake as Sana ran to grab her school stuff. “Do you want to take your skates or do you want me to drive you?” Sana asked, glancing at Nico’s tiny rollerblades. It was a trend in their town, for the children to get to school on either rollerblades or bikes. Sana kind of hated it, Nico was way too young to be messing around on rollerblades. She would always insist on holding her hand and Nico hated it but Sana wasn’t risking anything. 

“Walk.” Nico yawned. “With Umma?” Nico asked. 

“I’ll go ask for you okay?” Sana kissed Nico’s cheek before leaving her to fiddle with her shoes at the entrance. “Chae?” She peaked in on the woman who was sipping her coffee in the kitchen. “Nic wants you to walk to school with her.”

“Okay,” Chaeyoung sighed and put her coffee down. Sana smiled at her before going back to the little girl eating small bites of her pastry.

“Come on Nico, let’s go.” Sana smiled at the little girl and held her hand. 

“Mommy?” Nico asked. “My water?”

“Yes baby girl, I filled up your water bottle last night and put ice in it this morning like you like.” Sana smiled at the child as she opened the door. As they left the house, Nico nervously looked around their yard. Chaeyoung caught on instantly and held onto Nico’s other hand. 

“No monsters yeah?” Chaeyoung smiled at the little girl. 

“Yeah.” Nico muttered, taking a deep breath out before offering Chaeyoung a small smile. Chaeyoung grinned at Nico before yawning, attracting Sana’s attention.   
“Nico-ya can you be a good girl and finish your breakfast for mommy?” Sana asked before leaving a couple kisses on the sleepy baby’s face. She pulled away and looked into her daughter’s eyes.

“I’m full,” Nico pouted.

“Do you want to save it for later?” Nico nodded tiredly and Sana sighed at the child before prying the pastry out of her grubby hands and wrapping it in a napkin before sipping it up in Nico’s bag. 

“Mommy?"

“Yes Nico?”

“I love you,” Nico gave her mother a small grin.

“I love you too baby,” Sana gave Nico a small smile before fixing her hair and brushing any imaginary dirt off her coat and dress. The rest of their walk was quiet, and Chaeyoung really appreciated some peace with her family, for once. 

“Umma,” Nico called Chaeyoung’s attention when they stopped at a cross walk. “Uppy.” Nico made grabby hands towards Chaeyoung and Chaeyoung instantly picked her up, being mindful of Nico’s dress and leggings. Once they reached Nico’s school she was nearly asleep in Chaeyoung’s arms. Chaeyoung whispered for Nico to wake up before putting her down and Nico rubbed her eyes. 

“Can you walk Nico to class?” Chaeyoung asked. She hated that they couldn’t go together, but their town that was oh so keen on each others lives didn’t know much about their family relationship. Chaeyoung had been insistent when Nico started school that they be secretive about Nico’s parental situation. She had been this way since they moved to the town. It was a sleepy town not far from the US border with Canada, and it was one of those towns where most of them grew up together, and knew absolutely everything about each other. They weren’t good with change, Chaeyoung had quickly noticed. They were the only Asian family in the small towns, and she didn’t even want to think about the amount of times she had to explain the distinction between Korean and Japanese to the townsfolk. They weren’t rejected because of their ethnitiscites,  but since they were the only ones, things got a bit overwhelming every once and awhile. They had to have Japanese and Korean ingredients delivered all the way from the city over an hour away just to have the correct ingredients for any kind of Japanese or Korean meal. Chaeyoung choose it because there was no way anyone knew them or recognized the last names. But she hated it because it made them feel different. She always worried about Nico being the only Asian girl in her class, but she hadn’t experienced any kind of racial questioning. She was thankful for that, but she knew if they sprang the gay thing things would end less pleasantly. 

Chaeyoung didn’t know a single person in town besides her Sana and Nico who didn’t attend weekly church services. She had never been to one, so she wasn’t entirely sure of where the pastor stood on LGBT, but considering she had never met another LGBT couple in town she knew it was unlikely that the town looked positively on love like her and Sana’s. Especially since they used to get suspicious looks from the people in town. She supposes that the townsfolk gave up on them, writing them off as close friends who just happened to have a child together. Chaeyoung was barely around anyway, it didn’t really matter.

Nico had been told to hide her two moms early on. She had been confused for awhile, but they had treated it like a cute family secret and Nico loved secrets. They were worried for father’s day, it would be Nico’s first father day at her preschool, but they decided to figure it out then.

“Sure, you want to wait for me on that bench?” Sana pointed to a bench with chipped paint and a thin layer of snow.

“Yes, I’ll see you in a bit, have fun at school princess.” Chaeyoung smiled at the little girl. 

“Bye bye Umma,” Nico smiled back before wrapping herself around Sana’s legs tightly. Sana laughed and reached down to pick her up, before shooting Chaeyoung one last loving look before entering Nico’s school. Chaeyoung sighed, her breath creating a puff of white smoke in the frigid air. She couldn’t wait to go home and sleep some more, she had missed out on a lot of sleep on her trip. But she couldn’t sleep well without Sana, so it would be pointless for her to go home early. She tilted her head back to look at the sky, it looked like it would start snowing again soon. She really hoped it didn’t, but decided she wouldn’t mind getting trapped at home for awhile all that much. 

 

xx

 

“Chaeyoung can you answer the phone?” Sana asked from the other room. Chaeyoung groaned before reaching for Sana’s phone and answering the loud ringing. 

“Hello?” She grunted out in English. 

“Is this Miss Sana Minatozaki?” The person on the other line asked in English.

“I’m her, friend, Chaeyoung, I can pass on a message if you need to speak to Sana.” Chaeyoung ran her hand through her short hair. 

“Oh well Miss Chaeyoung can you tell her she’s needed at her daughter’s school immediately.”

“Why?” Chaeyoung’s heart sank. 

“If your just her friend, than it’s not your place to know Miss Chaeyoung.” 

“Well I’m Nico legal guardian too so I deserve to know about my god damn daughter.” Chaeyoung muttered frustratingly. 

“Hold on one moment please well we verify this information.” Chaeyoung groaned, finally recognizing the voice. It was Nico’s school’s receptionist. She remembered her from the open house Sana had forced her to go to before Nico started school. She had never liked her, she was condescending and proud of her son to the point it was annoying as hell, especially since her son hadn’t really done anything. And her son was a brat too, Sana had told her that he would sometimes bully Nico by stealing her food or tugging on her hair. Nico had told Sana that in confidence, and from what she knew their daughter had begged Sana with tears in her eyes to not tell anyone. Chaeyoung still couldn’t figure out why Nico wanted to be so secretive, but she found herself contemplating turning in the little brat multiple times. “Are you Son Chaeyoung?”

“Yeah, I’m the only Chaeyoung in town,” Chaeyoung rolled her eyes. 

“Well if you must know, your daughter got into a fight today.”

“She didn’t,” Chaeyoung muttered. “There’s no way, she knows fighting is bad.”

“Well she hit another child.” The woman responded and Chaeyoung could hear the hate dripping from her tone. “My son to be exact…” The lady muttered under her breath. “When will you be available to come speak with the principal about the incident?”

“Sana and I can be there in ten minutes,” Chaeyoung sighed before hanging about. “Sana!” She called her girlfriend into the room. Sana peaked in and Chaeyoung grinned at Sana’s messy hair. “Appearently Nico finally snapped and slapped some sense into the Smith kid.” Chaeyoung couldn’t fight the grin on her face. 

“What?”

“Nico slapped-”

“I know what you said, but what the hell Chaeyoung? This is your fault I hope you know that.” Sana groaned as she came fully inside the room the collect a pair of pants to put on under her large sweater. 

“How is this my fault?”

“You’ve been telling her to hit back for months.”

“I have not, I’ve just been telling her that what he was doing to her was wrong and maybe she should do something about it, I was referring to talking to an adult not hitting the kid back.” Chaeyoung groaned. “Whatever, we’ll talk about this later.”

“Yeah, we will,” Sana sighed and shed her sweater for a nice professional blouse. “You better not be the reason she gets kicked out of the only preschool in town.” Sana muttered under her breath and Chaeyoung took a deep breath in to ignore her urge to protest her girlfriend’s statement. 

 

xx

 

“Thank you for coming Miss Minatozaki… and Miss Son.” Chaeyoung heard the tone in the woman’s voice and she wanted to go off on this woman but Sana held her arm to hold her back. 

“What did Nico do exactly?” Sana asked politely. 

“Well, she slapped my son right on his cheek, hard enough to leave a mark, completely unprompted!” The woman explained. “You need to have better control over your daughter.”

“She’s never behaved like that at home, I’m sure this is all just a misunderstand Mrs Smith, I’m very sorry to hear about your son I hope he will be okay,” Sana’s tone seemed perfectly sincere but Chaeyoung knew her girlfriend well enough to know that underneath the polite exterior Sana was practically fuming with rage.

“He will be thankfully, but he was quite hard to calm down, your daughter is sitting in front of the principal’s office waiting for you reflecting on what she did,” The woman grunted as she pointed to the door behind her. “She insisted to talk to you two alone first before me and my son will come in and we can decide how to punish Nico for her violent actions.”

“Thank you,” Sana sighed at the woman before pulling Chaeyoung down the lit hallway. They turned the corner and found Nico sitting on a red bench, her coat balled up on her shoulders as tears dripped down her cheeks. Sana’s grip loosened on Chaeyoung and Chaeyoung knew her girlfriend was fighting the urge to go soft for the crying child. “Nico.” Sana called Nico’s attention. Nico instantly looked up at her and left of the chair, leaving her jacket on the floor as she hugged Sana.

“I’m sorry mommy, I’m so sorry.” Nico sobbed. “It’s just he hit me and I was scared because you and Umma weren’t there to protect me and I just, I’m sorry.”

“Wait, hold up, he hit you first?” Chaeyoung bent down to Nico’s level and looked into the crying girl’s face. Nico nodded and rubbed her eyes.

“Where baby girl?” Sana asked softly, her anger melting away. Nico pointed to her arm and Sana pulled up her sweater sleeve to reveal a nasty bruise on her forearm. Sana looked at Nico pitifully before examining the bruise. “Does it hurt?” Nico nodded and Sana placed the softest kiss to the bruise. “How did this happen?”

“We were all playing and then Will came up to me and called me a mean name because I couldn’t tag anyone because my chest hurt again and I couldn’t run and then he hit me when the teacher wasn’t looking.” Nico sobbed more. And then I hit him because I was scared.”

“Nico…” Sana whispered. 

“Nico your not in trouble,” Chaeyoung nearly growled. “You did nothing wrong, what he did was very very wrong.” Chaeyoung nodded, trying not to be consumed by blind rage. Sana hugged the still crying child close to her and Nico climbed into her lap. Sana whispered loving phrases, ignoring the fact they were in the middle of a hallway and they had to go see the principal immediately. Once Nico was calm, Sana gave her a peck on the check and helped Nico pull her sleeve down over the discolored skin. 

“Let’s go tell the principal your story, it’s okay Nico, even though it’s bad to hit people and you should never do it again, it was a natural response and not your fault, just know better next time okay?” Sana whispered as she stood with Nico in her arms. “Chaeyoung,” Sana whispered to the woman next to her. “Don’t.”

“But Sana, I can’t-”

“Your not getting her kicked out remember?” Sana whispered harshly against Chaeyoung’s ear. 

“Yes ma’am.” Chaeyoung sighed and turned towards Nico. The girl was exhausted from all her crying and she held on tightly to Sana. She would fight to the bone for her child, and the principal and that awful woman were about to realize it.

 

xx

 

“Son Chaeyoung!” Sana yelled, puling Chaeyoung away from the entrance of the car and around the side of the building, Nico stumbling behind them. “I told you not to go off on her and what did you do?”

“Look Sana you heard it from Nico herself, Will is a little dick and his behavior was not right!” Chaeyoung yelled back. “You saw what he did to Nico! He deserved to be punished!”

“I agree with you but you don’t have to call his mother a bitch to her face! And you didn’t have to call the principal a weak pussy either!”

“They don’t speak Korean they had no idea what I said!” Chaeyoung argued. 

“Chaeyoung Nico knows what your saying, your setting a terrible example for her, she can’t just call people names in Korean because they don’t understand them when she gets mad she has to learn to handle situations correctly!” Nico, who was listening to her mothers fight, put her hands on her ears as tears welled up in her eyes. 

Her mothers never fought like this. She didn’t like it. She really didn’t like it. She wanted to be anywhere but there. She looked at her mothers, who were very engaged in their argument before looking at the large forrest in front of her. She wanted to get away from the fighting, she wanted to get away from the screaming. She didn’t hesitate to run to the large forrest, ducking behind a tree the moment she could. She sighed in relief after the shouting died down when she went deeper into the forrest. She sat down on a small rock, pulling her coat tighter. She was cold, but at least it was quiet. She looked around the snowy forrest, her little imagination being sent into overdrive at the scenery. She loved the forrest, when she went on hikes with her mothers and they would help her look for fairies were some of the best times of her life. Her Umma always spotted the most fairies, and she was always jealous because she never found any. But her Umma would always draw up sketches later and give them to her and Nico loved them. She smiled as she saw a tree rustle without the help of the wind. Maybe it was her turn to finally see a fairy. 

 

xx

 

“Chaeyoung, I get that you were mad, I’m mad too, but all I’m saying is you needed to restrain yourself more. You can call people a bitch and a pussy all the time when we’re at home alone in our bedroom, but doing it in front of them and our daughter is too much,” Sana’s tone soften as she let out a sigh of frustration. 

“I’m sorry, I know my self control is terrible, I-I shouldn’t have done that. You were right Sana. Why did I even arguing with you? You were the one that was right.” Chaeyoung sighed in defeat.

“Hey, we can work on your self control okay?” Chaeyoung nodded when Sana wrapped her arms around her.

“I’m sorry Sana, and I’m sorry Nico.” Chaeyoung turned to where she thought Nico was, but she was surprised to find Nico wasn’t behind her. “Nico?”

“I thought we told her to wait at the entrance?” Sana asked, trying not to panic.

“Oh ri-” Chaeyoung was cut off but a loud shrill scream and she looked at Sana, both sporting matching panicked looks, before sprinting towards the source of the sound. “Nico!” Chaeyoung yelled as she ran into the forrest. “Nico! Where are you?!” Chaeyoung’s stomach sank when she got no response and she ran as fast as she could through the trees, Sana not too far behind her. “Nico!” She called again, only to get no response.

Chaeyoung’s calves were getting scratched by fallen branches but she couldn’t are less and she sprinted. The cold air was making it hard to run without getting winded and the snow was soaking Chaeyoung jeans but she didn’t care. She pushed through the trees until she finally spotted tell tale dark hair. “Nico baby, don’t scare us like that-” Chaeyoung started only for Nico to shush her loudly. Chaeyoung looked at the child confused before she finally walked into the clearing and froze. There was a thing, a monster as Nico called it, staring right back at her, it’s teeth bared as it looked ready to pounce. Nico was trembling in fear and Chaeyoung was paralyzed because she didn’t want to move and spark the beast into action.

Chaeyoung’s breath stopped momentarily as she stared the creature down, and the thing let out a loud growl and started running before a gunshot rang out in the air. Sana was standing behind her, gun in hand and Nico instantly ran to Chaeyoung. Chaeyoung ran her fingers through the scared child’s hair, trying to make out what just happened. 

“That’s my way of thanking you for last time,” Sana sighed and lowered her weapon, putting the thing away before running to Chaeyoung 

“Sana, that’s the second one in a row. The third one Mina hasn’t picked up in advance. Sana, I think we have a problem. A huge fucking problem.” 


	3. monsters aren't real (sanayeon, part three)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part 4?
> 
>  
> 
> i low key hate this i wrote it after a twenty two hour travel schedule where i watched six disney movies and deadpool 2

“Nico baby, it’s okay, you can go to sleep,” Sana sighed as she kissed Nico’s forehead for the nth time. “You don’t have to be afraid, Mommy is here.”

“What about Umma?”

“Umma is will be home tomorrow, and she bringing a surprise for you, but you only get the surprise if you go to sleep.” Sana whispered to the little girl. 

“But mommy, I’m still scared.”

“Baby, your in Mommy and Umma’s bed, and Mommy has a weapon to protect you. It will all be okay, I promise.” Sana kissed Nico’s forehead. “I know your tired, go to sleep and I’ll get you doughnuts tomorrow morning.” 

“What about kitty?”

“She’s downstairs in her own bed, she’ll be okay too, she can protect herself.” Sana sighed. “You know kitty can’t sleep in Mommy and Umma’s bed.”

“I know,” Nico pouted. “Mommy?"

“Yes love?”

“Hug?” Nico asked, prying her arms free from the tight tucking Sana had tucked her under earlier.

“Of course baby,” Sana smiled at Nico and wrapped her arms around the little girl, laying down next to her and kissing her hair. Nico yawned as she cuddled up to Sana and Sana racked her hands through Nico’s hair as she hummed a quiet tune. Nico didn’t fall asleep much later, and Sana thanked god Nico was sleeping after what she had saw.

 

xx

 

Chaeyoung got home at the crack of dawn the next morning, early enough to find her girlfriend and her daughter fast asleep in her bed. She smiled softly at the scene, before noticing that Sana’s gun was laying close to her. She picked up the silver weapon and quietly put it in Sana’s bedside drawer before climbing into bed on her side. She wrapped her arms around Nico from behind after leaving a ghost of a kiss on Sana’s cheek. She looked over her two loves once again, making sure they were indeed sleeping soundly before allowing herself to lay her head down and slip her eyes shut. 

 

“Umma?” Chaeyound was startled awake by Nico’s tiny voice. 

“Nico baby why are you awake?” Chaeyoung groaned as she sat up. 

“Bad dream.” Nico whispered, turning and facing Chaeyoung.

“Are you scared?” Nico nodded before letting out a loud sniffle to hold back tears. “It’s okay baby.” Chaeyoung whispered, attempting to calm Nico down by kissing her forehead. The only response she got was more tears from Nico. Chaeyoung internally groaned before collecting Nico in her arms and carrying her out of the room. Sana already had attended to countless nights of nightmares, Chaeyoung wasn’t going to let her girlfriend go without sleep again. “Is there any way I can get you back to sleep?” Chaeyoung asked the child honestly. Nico nodded and Chaeyoung sighed before taking her downstairs. She turned on the tv lazily and let Nico pick the channel before laying down on the couch with Nico on top of her chest. “You really don’t have to be afraid Nico, we’ll always protect you.”

“But what if, what if your not there?” Nico asked, tears still dripping down her cheeks.

“Baby we’ll always be there.” Chaeyoung whispered. 

“But school,” Nico sniffled. “School it’s just me.”

“But you have big strong teachers and security at school, trust me baby school is the last place you’ll get hurt.” Chaeyoung ran her hands through Nico’s hair. 

“But- Will-”

“Nico, we’ve talked about this, Will won’t hurt you again and if he does you tell your teacher and he will be punished.” Chaeyoung kissed Nico’s hair. “You have nothing to be afraid of. They won’t get you.”

“Umma?” Nico laid down a top of Chaeyoung and put her face on Chaeyoung’s upper chest. “What are they?”

“I’ll tell if you promise not to tell mommy I told you okay?”

“I promise.”

“Good girl, they are creatures of the night, evil beasts cursed by the very moon itself. They don’t know anything but the thrill of hurting. They are very bad Nico.” Chaeyoung muttered. 

“Why don’t others know about them?”

“Oh Nico, that’s a long story, for another day.” Chaeyoung sighed. “One day, I’ll tell you everything.”

“Promise?”

“I swear, but not yet.” Chaeyoung offered Nico a weak smile, finding Nico’s hand with her own. “I need to hold onto you for as long as I can.”

“What does that mean?” Nico asked, looking up at Chaeyoung with her wide innocent eyes. 

“Nothing baby,” Chaeyoung sighed. “Nothing for you to be worried about.”

“Okay.” Nico muttered, turning her head to the bright cartoon on the screen, humming the theme song, Chaeyuong subconsciously joining the catchy tune wore on. They both fall asleep cuddled together on the couch, holding onto each other like a lifeline. 

 

xx

 

Sana finds them early the next morning and smiles softly before getting them a blanket and kissing each of their foreheads. She turned the TV off and headed towards the kitchen to find another already messing with their bug ridden coffee machine. 

“Hello Mina, I wasn’t aware you were awake yet.” Sana giggled before reaching over and pressing the correct button to make the machine work. 

""Oh hey Sana, thanks,” Mina muttered as she watched the coffee pour. “How have you been?”

“Fine, Nico’s been keeping me up with nightmares about beasts and monsters and such, she’s convinced that since there is one type of beast and the horrible monsters from her storybooks are real.” Sana sighed as she walked in practiced steps to the cupboard with her mug in it. 

“You should have her watch Monsters Inc, when I was little that movie really changed my perspective of monsters and such.” A new voice spoke up from behind the counter. 

“Hello Momo, it’s nice to see you too,” Sana muttered sarcastically. “I wasn’t aware you were coming too.”

“Yeah, you ask for one of us you get the whole gang,” Momo sat up from the kitchen chair she had slumped into. She took a bite of a pastry Sana knew she recognized. 

“You go out for a run?”

“Nah, Tzuyu stopped on the way in, I was hungry and it was the only place open this morning, it’s way too fucking cold for running.” Momo shrugged. 

“I suppose your girlfriend is already gone?”

“She’s in your garage tinkering with Chaeyoung’s bike, Jihyo’s out there with her.” Momo smiled at her friend. “Can I use your kitchen or am I still banned?”

“Lifetime ban means lifetime ban.” Sana shrugged. 

“But I’m thirsty.” Momo whined. 

“Should have thought of that before trying to make cookies with a two year old.” 

“It’s not my fault everything got everywhere I didn’t know Nico was that messy.” Momo defended herself. “Thanks for cleaning the guest room for us.”

“Well I figured Tzuyu was going to tag along to help with Chae’s bike but I can’t say I’m all that shocked the four of you showed up.” Sana sighed and poured herself some coffee. “Coffee Mo?”

“I would prefer water please,” Momo coughed, chocking a bit on a bite of bread. 

“Yeah yeah, here,” Sana got out a cup and filled it with water for Momo before handing it to her friend. 

“Ooh cool Sofia the first!” Momo smiled when she saw the logged cup. 

“Sorry, our normal dishes are in the wash and it’s Chaeyoung turn to empty it but she didn’t get home until late.” Sana shrugged as she returned to the kitchen.

“It’s cool, I get it, it’s adds a very youthful touch to my breakfast.”

“Well Nico did hand pick it,” Sana laughed a bit at herself. “Everything for Nico is Disney right now, except her cartoons she watches Nick and Cartoon Network cartoons. Disney is basically everything else.”

“No barbie?” Momo asked, feigning hurt.

“The one you got her for Christmas is still sitting in a box in her closet.” Sana shrugged. “But she’s not a fan of toys unless they’re stuffed animals or coloring books.”

“Damn okay then next Christmas I’ll get her a barbie coloring book.” Momo sighed. 

“You really want to get her into Barbie?”

“What’s the point of having a niece if she doesn’t like Barbie?” Momo asked with a shrug. 

“Sana what’s her favorite animal? I’m not pulling a Momo this year with Christmas presents.” Mina asked with a slight teasing tone. 

“She likes pandas, and white tigers, and lions.” Sana shrugged. “Kind of cat like animals I suppose, and cats, if it isn’t obvious.” Sana looked over at the half full cat dish. “Anway you guys need to get out, Nico needs to get ready for school and she’s never going to leave if she knows you guys are here.” 

“But we need to talk about actual business.” Mina sighed. 

“And we can, once Nico is out of the house and out of earshot.” Sana sighed, unaware of the attentive little ears listening to her conversation from the other room. 

 

xx

 

“Mommy?” NIco muttered as Sana pulled her off of Chaeyoung. “Mommy my tummy hurts.”

“It does?” Sana asked in surprise as she laid a hand on Nico’s forehead. “I suppose your a little warm, I don’t think you have a fever. Does it hurt so much you can’t eat?” Nico nodded and hurried her face into Sana’s neck. “I’m sorry baby, I’ll got get you some medicine and you can go lay down in your room okay?” Sana asked, messing with Nico’s messy hair and cradling the child closer to her. “Chaeyoung.” Sana shook her girlfriend’s shoulder. 

“Mmm… babe?”

“Morning Chae, Nico has a tummy ache so I’m going to go lay her down in her bedroom, there’s coffee and two, uh, things waiting for you in the kitchen.” Sana informed her girlfriend, who lazily held her arm out to grab Sana by her waist. “Chaeyoung,” Sana giggled. “Not now,” Chaeyoung’s hand slipped from her waist and Chaeyoung slowly sat up. “Morning sunshine.”

“I’m so tired,” Chaeyoung whined.

“I know, but it’s rude to leave the things waiting, at least go get some coffee and make conversation.” Sana whispered, careful so Nico couldn’t hear her. “Nico sweetie where does your tummy hurt?” Sana turned to Nico, who pointed to her mid stomach. “Can mommy kiss it better?”

“No,” Nico muttered. 

 

“Aww that’s too bad to hear,” Sana giggled. “Come on buttercup let’s get you into bed.” 

“Surprise?”

“It will be here when your better love.” Sana whispered.

“You swear?”

“I promise.” Sana kissed Nico’s hair. “Chaegie can you give Nico her get better kiss?” Chaeyoung groaned and forced her hair out of her face enough to free her lips and lean over to kiss Nico’s cheek. 

“Feel better kiddo.” Chaeyoung husked out. “Love you.”

“I love you too Umma,” Nico yawned and Sana took that as a sign to take Nico upstairs. Sana gave the child medicine before getting Nico into her bed and settling her with a story, waiting until Nico was asleep to slip out of her room. She didn’t notice Nico open her eyes and slip out right after her.

 

xx

 

“So,” Mina sighed as she took her seat at the table. 

“So?” Sana asked. “So what? We’re just supposed to do nothing?”

“Sana what else do you expect us to do?” Mina sighed.

“Nico’s already been attacked twice, and she’s just you average everyday kid, how many other average everyday kids are going to be attacked? How, how many more times are they going to go after her? And why her?” Sana groaned in frustration. 

“Sana I can’t think of much else to do, we’re out of options here.” Mina sighed. “You know we could ask for help from-”

“Don’t even say it Mina,” Sana sighed. “Why us?”

“Have you considered moving to Greenland? I’ve heard there aren’t many people there I’m sure it’d be easy to protect Nico there.” Tzuyu added. 

“You know she does have to go to school right?” Sana asked spitefully. “We came here so she would be safe.”

“Sana, I know your frustrated babe, but we don’t know how much worse it’s going to get, we’ve never seen two in a row before, there can’t be that much more of them.” Chaeyoung sighed. “And Mina you said you’ll work on getting around whatever is messing with your tracker?”

“Yeah, I think it’s just added surety stuff from a couple different governments jamming the signal, I can fix it,” Mina nodded. 

“And we can stay behind, you know for backup, if you guys need,” Momo muttered from her position on Tzuyu’s lap. “I can watch Nico at school, the giant forrest makes it pretty easy to stalk people without being noticed.”

“No, it’s fine. Chaeyoung and I can handle it, it’s just, I worry about her enough, I don’t know if I can handle any more.” Sana sighed. 

“Mommy Sana is so serious,” Momo teased. “I think I like Mommy Sana.” 

“Mommy Sana is very serious and will do anything to protects her baby girls,” Sana joined in on the joke. 

“And Umma Chaeyoung will too- wait baby-girls?”

“You think you aren’t included tiger?”

“Your horrible,” Chaeyoung muttered, tightening her grip on Sana’s hand. “I’ll go check in on Nico for you okay babe?”

“No it’s okay, I’ve got it,” Sana nodded and untangling Chaeyoung’s arms from her shoulder. “She’s probably going to be in one of her moods again, last time you let her cry for ten minutes.”

“I’m sorry I don’t know how to handle her when she’s like that, I just let her get it out and hopes that helps.” Chaeyoung sighed. “Anyway, are you sure?”

“I’ll be back,” Sana pecked Chaeyoung’s lips quickly before leaving the decent sized kitchen. 

“You two ever going to get hitched?” Tzuyu asked plainly. 

“Our relationship is perfect as it is, we don’t need to get married, we already have a beautiful child and a decent house. Why else do people get married?” Chaeyoung shrugged. 

“Tax benefits?”

“Sana’s sitting on millions money really isn’t a concern.” Chaeyoung nodded. “We love each other, that’s what matters. And damn, I couldn’t imagine my life without her.”

“You know if I wasn’t in a relationship I would hate you two?” Jihyo spoke up, slipping out her earphones and looking at Chaeyoung.

“Thanks.” Chaeyoung grinned as she thought about her loves. Nico and Sana. Her forever. 

 

xx

 

Sana was suspicious when she first heard a small squeak when she first left the kitchen. Her suspicions were confirmed when she found a little pink bunny print pajama clad bundle behind the couch. She lifted the thing up by her waist and carried her upstairs to get a good look at the little girl. 

“What were you doing?”

“Getting water?” Nico was obviously lying. Three year olds were the worst liars on the planet and Sana knew from experience how bad Nico really was at it.

“Nico, what were you doing?”

“I was looking for you mommy,” Nico responded. “I saw it outside my window again.”

“Nico I showed you it’s just a branch-”

“Then why was it black?” Nico interrupted. 

“It was black?” Nico nodded.

“Was it a monster?”

“No, they only come out a night.” Sana nodded. 

“Then what about the woods?” Nico pouted. 

“Where was it?” Sana sighed in defeat.

“Out by the big tree.”

“You can’t see the big tree from your window.” Sana narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Nico. “Were you spying on Umma and Mommy?”

“You didn’t tell me Aunties were here.”

“Minatozaki Son Nico,” Sana nodded her head. “You are in so much trouble.”

“I-I’m sorry mommy! I just wanted to know about monsters and stuff!” Nico defended. 

“Nico you could have just asked you didn’t have to sneak around.” Sana sighed. “God, where do you learn these things?”

“I-I’m sorry mommy.” Nico muttered, tears welling in her eyes. 

“Do you really have a tummy ache or were you lying about that too?” 

“I have a tummy ache.” Nico nodded. “I-I’m sorry.”

“Look Nico, you know I love you right?” Nico nodded meekly. “And you know what you did was wrong and you need to be punished for it?” Nico nodded again. “Good, go sit on your bed, your on time out.” Sana pointed to Nico’s bed and she climbed onto her bed. 

“When can I come out?” Nico turned back to Sana and gave her one last pleading look hoping to be spared. 

“When I say you can.”

“What if I have to go potty?”

“I’ll come in here and watch you okay?” Sana sighed. “No getting off your bed you understand me?”

“Yes mommy.” Nico nodded. She didn’t like this side of her sweet mommy. 

“And Nico?” Nico looked up at Sana with fresh tears on her cheeks. “Forget everything you heard, it’s just, a game we were playing. An RPG. Nothing real.”

“Yes mommy.” Nico muttered. 

“I’ll be back for you in a bit and we’ll talk about what you did.” Sana told Nico before she left. Nico waited until the door was closed to sob into her fluffy pillow, wailing her little heart out, completely unknowing of the blood thirsty yellow eyes staring at her. 

 

xx

 

“Sana?” Chaeyoung asked her girlfriend as she sat next to her once again. “What’s up babe?”

“Nico, was, uh, well talk about this later.” Sana groaned as she pushed her face into Chaeyoung’s side. “I hate punishing her. I hate being so mean, especially when’s she’s crying.” Sana muttered into Chaeyoung’s ear. 

“What happened?”

“Later,” Sana sighed. “I’ll tell you before I take her out of time out we have, a lot to talk about with her.”

“Okay?” Chaeyoung asked, kissing Sana’s hair. “Guys I think we’re done for today.”

“What’s up with Nico?” Momo asked. 

“She was, not being good earlier.” Sana sighed. “I don’t want to deal with it right now.”

“Okay, so I guess now isn’t a good time to go surprise her?” Momo asked. 

“Yeah, awful time,” Sana responded, sighing when Chaeyoung put a hand on her back to gently rub at it. 

“She’ll get over it babe,” Chaeyoung muttered. “She’s three, she gets moody.”

“Oh Chae,” Sana sighed. “It was something much much worse than that.”

 

xx

 

“Okay it’s been two hours I think it’s time you go talk to Nico.” Tzuyu pointed out as she flipped through the channels. “She’s not getting any younger you know?”

“I know I know,” Sana muttered from Chaeyoung’s side. “I just don’t want to see her right now.” Sana sighed. 

“What, happened babe?” Chaeyoung asked. Sana looked around the room before leaning close to Chaeyoung’s ear. 

“She listened to our conversation earlier, I caught her behind the couch.” Sana whispered quietly. 

“She- what?” Chaeyoung asked. 

“You heard me.”

“Okay I get that your pissed but I’m sorry because this is partially my fault.” Chaeyoung sighed. 

“What did you do?”

“I told her a little bit about beasts last night, I was hoping she wouldn’t be scared once she knew what they were. I told her I’d tell her one day, maybe when she heard us talking she thought she could learn it sooner.” Chaeyoung sighed.

“What did you tell her?”

“Not much, just some poetic words on how monsters are evil. Nothing real.” Chaeyoung answered. “I promise.”

“Well I suppose I can’t blame you, or her I guess, she was just curious. She’s too young to know how she needs to be quiet and keep her head down sometimes.” Sana sighed. “Let’s go get this over with.” Sana sighed.

As Chaeyoung and Sana were untangling themselves, they heard a thud upstairs, followed by the power going out.

“What the fuck?” Tzuyu cursed. 

“It’s the snow storm guys,” Jihyo looked up from her phone. “It’s messing with the power.”

“Great,” Sana sighed. “I’ll go get Nico that probably spooked her, Chae you coming?”

“Babe,” Chaeyoung grabbed Sana’s wrist. “Babe something is off.”

“What Chaeyoung?” Sana asked. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, but just don’t go upstairs.”

“Oh my god Chaeyoung what about our child?” Sana asked. “I’m going after her, she’s probably terrified and alone and fuck Chae just let me go after her.” There was little light from the outside, the blizzard had buried the sun in layers of dark clouds. 

“Fine, but I’m coming,” Chaeyoung gelt her holster just to make sure her gun was there before grabbing Sana’s hand. “You guys stay alert.” She called to the other adults of the house. 

“For what?” Momo asked. Chaeyoung looked at her and shrugged. Tzuyu looked at Momo then the two retreating up the stairs. She understood what Chaeyoung was feeling, she felt it too. She felt dread creep into her every nerve, and anxiety churn in her guts. She felt sick just watching her friends go upstairs. 

 

xx

 

Sana knocked on Nico’s door before entering. A way to show the child she meant no harm. She opened the door and her heart dropped at the sight. Nico’s pink curtains were torn and the window had been shattered into thousands of tiny pieces and blood stained the floor. And Nico was nowhere to be found. 

“Nico?!” Sana screamed. “Nico!” She looked under the covers and around Nico’s bed. “Chaeyoung, find her.” Sana screamed.

Chaeyoung didn’t respond. Her heart was thumping loudly in her chest as she felt white hot anger blind her. She didn’t want to do this. She hated doing this. But she couldn’t hold herself back. Not when she saw her daughter’s bedroom in tatters and blood on the floor.  She ran over to the window, taking out her gun. She looked down, there was a deep layer of snow but clear markings of paw prints.

“What the fuck?” Chaeyoung asked. “Sana what the hell was here?”

“I don’t know!” Sana screamed in panic, looking under the bed. “You don’t think it was a-”

“No, they’re too dumb to do something like this. They don’t take something away they kill and move on.”

“But those paw prints-”

“I fucking know okay?!” Chaeyoung screamed. “I’m going after it.”

“Chaeyoung no-”

“Don’t try to stop me Sana, that thing will die for trying to hurt my family. It will die for what it’s done and it will burn in hell for all eternity.” Chaeyoung growled. 

“Chaeyoung stop-” Sana tried to pull Chaeyoung away from the window and Chaeyoung only pulled away from her. 

“I’ll be back.” Chaeyoung muttered before picking up and throwing Nico’s lucky rock through the window to get the entire thing to shatter. She didn’t dare look at Sana before jumping, her anger making her hyper fixate on one thing. Revenge. 

 

xx

 

“Nico!” Chaeyoung muttered when she noticed the tracks start to dwindle. She ducked behind a tree and found the beast with Nico in between it’s large jaws. The beast looked at Chaeyoung and she looked back with as much intensity as she could muster. The beast looked at her and dropped Nico, the girl tumbling to the ground ungratefully. Chaeyoung was angered and wanted to hold Nico like the softest porcilen doll but she couldn’t right now. She had to take care of something first.

The beast charged at Chaeyoung and she dodged out of the way, aiming her gun at the wretched thing. Her hands were shaking and she never felt this amped up during a fight. It was exhilarating, but also exhausting. Chaeyoung lined up another shot, only for it to miss. The next few shots weren’t good either, and Chaeyoung could feel herself getting more and more frustrated. She didn’t know how bad Nico’s injuries were, and she was worried if she didn’t act fast things could end tragically. 

She lined up another shot only for it to miss and the creature to charge at her, getting a small bite on her forearm. Chaeyoung cried out in pain, but took the opportunity to line up another shot. She may have been high off of adrenaline and endorphins but  she was conscious enough to know she only had one shot left. Her arm was shaking in pain and her heartbeat was ringing in her ears and her eyes were watery with tears but she wasn’t going to loose it yet. She lined up a shot and her finger hesitantly found the trigger. She took a deep breath before pulling the trigger.

Chaeyoung watched as her shot missed. Heard as another gunshot rung through the harsh storm. Watched as it struck the beast down and it fell to the ground. 

“-young-” Chaeyoung felt someone grab her arm. “Chaeyoung.” She looked up and saw tears running down Sana’s beautiful face. 

“Hey gorgeous,” Chaeyoung muttered, her high slowly subsiding. 

“I saved you again, princess.” Sana laughed and hit Chaeyoung’s shoulder. 

“That’s my line, princess.” Chaeyoung muttered, taking a deep breath in. Her arm hurt like hell but there was one thought on her mind. “Fuck, Nico.” Chaeyoung brushed Sana’s hand off of her and ran to the pajama clad child. She picked her up and laid her in her arms. “S-Sana? Is she okay?”

Sana looked over the child, brushing her fingers over the wound on her forehead and the scratch mark on her side. 

“I think she’ll be fine.” Sana whispered. “No hospital needed, just some good bandaging should do the trick.”

“Do you think she’ll ever sleep again?”

“Probably not.” Sana sighed and nodded. “What kid would after being dragged through the snow by a monster that jumped into her room?”

“God, we’re really fucked up parents aren’t we?”

“We’re trying our best.” Sana sighed. “God we will never let her go right?”

“Never ever, she’s never even leaving our sight after this little incident.” Chaeyoung smiled at Sana. “Keep it a secret from child protective services?”

“What they don’t know won’t hurt them.” Sana smiled and held Nico’s cold hands. “Let’s go home okay?”

“Y-yeah. Home.” Chaeyoung sighed, watched her breath create a puff of smoke in the air. She looked at the beast once more, the thing thrashing as it bled out on the snow. “Hey Sana?”

“Hm?”

“Can I borrow your gun for a second?” Sana looked at the gun in her hands before handing it to Chaeyoung. Chaeyoung pulled the trigger not once, not twice but three times, but to make sure the damn thing was dead. 

 

xx

 

“Mommy?” Sana heard a weak voice call. 

“Nico!” Sana smiled and bent down to look Nico in the eyes. “How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts.” Nico’s hand reached up for her head and her finger brushed against the bandages.

“I know baby,” Sana sighed. “Don’t touch them okay?”

“What are they?” 

“Bandages.”

“Hello Kitty?”

“They don’t make hello kitty for this type of bandage kiddo.” Sana chuckled at the little girl. “I can give you stickers though.” Nico nodded at the suggestion. 

“What happened mommy?” Nico asked, sitting up slowly. Sana put her hand on Nico’s back and put the other on Nico’s forehead.

“You don’t remember?” Sana asked and Nico nodded. 

“You fell down the stairs baby.” Sana lied. 

“But wasn’t I on time out?”

“You were, but the power went out and you got scared and I wasn’t listening so you came down to see us and you fell.” Sana explained. 

“What’s up buttercup?” Chaeyoung sighed in delight when she came into the room to find Nico sitting up in her bed. “I brought soup.”

“Chicken noodle?”

“With extra noodles.” Chaeyoung smiled at Nico and kissed her forehead. “Eat up before you get sick.”

“Where are Aunties?”

“They’re downstairs, they can come up later.” Chaeyoung held a spoonful of soup to Nico’s mouth. 

Sana’ssmiled as she watched the scene, though there was one thing eating at her. She had thought it was a possibility Nico might not remember things, repress it far down into her little subconscious, swept it under the rug until it disappeared from her memory completely. But as a former doctor she knew the chances weren’t likely. She was glad Nico didn’t remember. The kid didn’t need to know. They kept plenty of family secrets, how much more could one tiny incident really make a difference. 


	4. monsters aren't real (sanayeon, part four)

_Sana felt strange. There was a strange feeling in her gut making her extremely on edge and jumpy. She checked her phone, she was going the right way but for some reason she felt sick to her stomach._

_She almost puked when her nose caught the strong scent of blood and death. She was defiantly going the right way._

_She pulled her gun out of her pocket and approached the scent cautiously. She looked around at the snowy forrest. It was oddly quiet._

_Once she saw the fur, she instantly shot, the sound spooking the creature, but it not being able to react fast enough, the bullet lodging itself in the creature back. Sana relaxed as it tumbled to the ground ungracefully. Thank god that was easier than normal._

_However she became tighter than she had been before when her ears picked up on a shrill sound of a baby’s cry just a few feet away from her. A baby had no right being here, not with the subtle red stained snow and the scent of blood stinking up the air. Sana’s hands shook as she approached the sound. Everything about this situation was strange. There shouldn’t be a baby. And she noticed only one body laying dead in the snow, there was supposed to be three according to Mina. And never had Mina mentioned a baby._

_She approached the shrill screaming baby, she was wrapped in a thin blanket and squirming around. She was surrounded by red soaked snow as more snow gently fell down, and Sana’s heart clenched and her mind raced. She had no idea what to do._

 

 

xx

 

_Chaeyoung sighed as she pulled a blanket around her shoulders. Sana was taking too long. She should have been back by now. She turned on the tv, listening to the monotone newscaster drag on about the current snow storm. Chaeyoung sighed, she really shouldn’t be watching the dire news, it would only make her more worried about Sana._

_She checked her phone, no updates. Chaeyoung laid on her back, staring at the fireplace. She watched as the flames danced across the log, it calmed her._

_Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the door opening. She jumped off the couch and ran towards the doorframe._

_“Sana!” Chaeyoung grinned. “What took you so long?” Chaeyoung ran to her girlfriend and made quick work to peck her cheek. “Wait- whats wrong? Why are you standing like that?” Chaeyoung gestured to the way Sana was hugging her stomach protectively._

_“Chae- Chae-” Sana repeated in a shaky voice. “I found something out in the woods.”_

_“What is it baby?” Chaeyoung asked, nothing the tremor in Sana’s voice. “What’s wrong? What happened?”_

_“I-I was tracking it with the coordinates Mina gave me and what I found, well,” Sana sighed, shrugging her coat off her shoulder. “See for yourself.” Sana’s jacket slipped off her jacket to reveal a studious bulge in her sweater where her arms were holding something. Sana lowered her arms, slowly pulling the thing out of her sweater._

_“Sana,” Chaeyoung gasped. “A-A baby?” Chaeyoung asked, looking at the pink cheeked sleeping baby in her girlfriends arms. “W-Where?”_

“I don’t know there was so much blood Chae- so much.” Sana nodded. “She was all alone, I couldn’t leave her she was freezing.” Sana nodded. 

_“Calm down babe, I’ll call Mina. Go give her and yourself a warm bath. I’m sure Mina and Jihyo will know what to do, they will find her parents and everything will be fine okay?”_

_“Y-Yeah.” Sana exhaled looking at the baby in her arms in a blood soaked blanket. “Yeah.”_

xx

 

“Mommy look!” Nico screamed as she climbed up to the top of the kitchen table to stand on top of it.  “I’m as tall as you!”

“Nico! Get down!” Sana screamed as she turned and found Nico standing on the table, running over to her and lifted Nico into her arms. “Your still recovering baby, you can’t do stuff like that. You’ll get more hurt.”

“Mommy I’m bored,” Nico whined. “You aren’t letting me do anything. I can’t go play in the snow, I can’t watch tv.”

“You could have a concussion.” Sana argued. “You need to rest.”

“What’s a con-con-”

“It’s what happens when you hit your head too hard.” Sana explained, carrying Nico to the couch and making her sit on it.

“Why don’t we go to the doctor?”

“Mommy is a doctor baby. If you have a concussion, it’s mild. But I’m not risking it.” Sana nodded. “Why don’t you color? You love doing that.”

“I already colored everything.” Nico pouted. 

“Why don’t you make a card for Umma?”

“For what?” Nico asked. 

“Christmas?” Sana shrugged. “Being your Umma?”

“I would rather just tell her that.” Nico defended. “I want to go play with Umma.”

“She’s busy.”

“With what?” Nico whined.

“Umma stuff.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s an adult secret baby.” Sana nodded, running her hands over the bandages on Nico’s head. “I know you were bored but it’s not okay to climb on top of the table.”

“I’m sorry mommy.” Nico gave Sana her best defeated look and Sana sighed.

“Don’t do it again?” Nico nodded. “C’mere baby, I’ll cuddle with you.” Nico wrapped her tiny body around Sana’s stomach, resting her chin on Sana’s upper chest. “I love you baby.” Sana muttered, brushing her hand through Nico’s hair. 

“Mommy your the bestest mommy in the world.” Nico smiled at Sana. 

“Bestest?” Sana giggled kissing Nico’s hair.

“Yes, bestest ever.” Nico grinned. 

“Where does that leave Umma?”

“Bestest Umma in the world.” Nico giggled. “Of course.”

“Oh of course.” Sana rolled her eyes. 

“Bestest mommy in the world, can we go ice skating?”

“No way Nico.” Sana nodded. “You’ve never been ice skating before, you don’t know how easy it is to fall, your get hurt.”

“Mommy, please, everyone is going!” Nico whined. 

“Baby we’ve been through this your hurt.” Sana nodded. “Look when your all better after Christmas we can go okay?”

“Mommy,” Nico whined. 

“Look sweetie, I’m doing this because I love you and I don’t want you get hurt okay?” Sana nodded. 

“Fine.” Nico pouted. “Mommy let me down I’m going to find kitty.” Nico unwrapped herself from Sana, Sana taking her hands out of Nico’s hair as Nico ran off to find their pet cat. Sana sighed and nodded, taking out her phone to check on Chaeyoung’s Christmas shopping. Her stomach lurched when she saw she had an unread message from someone she swore to never speak to again. 

 

xx

 

“How was Nico?” Chaeyoung asked as she began the process of stripping her winter clothes.

“She wants go ice skating for some reason. And she’s really bored.” Sana sighed. “And she’s been feeling really clingy lately.”

“Well we have been spoiling her with our attention. Is she napping?”

“In our bed so if you need to change be quiet.” Sana gave Chaeyoung a peck on the cheek. “I’m going to start dinner, did you hide all the presents the garage?” 

 

“Yup.” Chaeyoung smiled at her girlfriend. “And the repair man is coming for Nico’s window tomorrow so I’ll play with her in the backyard when he gets here, you know how she is towards men.”

“I know she’s not really afraid of them, but we need to stop letting her be so shy around men. One of these days she’s going to get a male teacher or her friend’s dad is going to be home. This whole aversion will have toned eventually.”

“She’s just not used to men, her grandparents live in Korea and Jae and Felix are the least intimidating 

little shits.” Chaeyoung rolled her eyes. “Anyway, I’ll make dinner tonight babe, you should go take a bath, I picked up a little early present for you.” Chaeyoung smiled and handed Sana a small grocery store bag. Sana opened it and found a pale pink bath bomb, she smiled at the gesture. “Rose scented, your favorite.”

“I love you.” Sana muttered, kissing Chaeyoung’s cheeks. 

“I love you too,” Chaeyoung grinned. “Also I picked up some extra ammo from Mina, it’s in my bike if your running low.”

“I think I’m fine,” Sana’s hand reached back for her holstered gun. “I think we’re fine.”

“I know, it’s just to be safe. I’m not taking any chances anymore.” 

 

xx

 

“Sana babe are you okay?” Chaeyoung whispered into Sana’s ear. Sana looked at her surprised, she had tried her best to act normal but she couldn’t get that text out of her mind. Honestly she was surprised Chaeyoung didn’t comment on it earlier.

“I’m fine.” Sana muttered, rocking the sleeping child in her arms back and fourth. 

“What happened?” Chaeyoung asked.

“Nothing Chae.”

“Sana,” Chaeyoung sighed. Sana refused to look at her, stroking her hand through Nico’s hair. “Babe, look at me.”

“Chae I- she texted me.”

“What did she say?”

“I don’t know I couldn’t bring myself to look.” Sana pecked Nico’s unruly dark hair. 

“Do you want me to look for you?” Chaeyoung asked. “I don’t mind threatening her again if it’s bad.”

“Chae- it’s fine I’ll just delete it.” Sana nodded. 

“Hey Sana?”

“Hm?"

“She doesn’t define you. Just because she’s a bitch-”

“I know Chae,” Sana sighed. “I just, I don’t even like thinking of her. We almost lost Nico because of her.”

“I know babe, she’s horrible.” Chaeyoung nodded. “But it’s okay, she’s thousands of miles away. She can’t hurt any of us anymore.”

“It really is you and me against the world isn’t it?” Sana asked, resting her cheek on Nico’s head. 

“The three of us don’t need anyone else.” Chaeyoung nodded. “Anything the world throws at us, we can take it.”

xx

 

Nico felt fear course through her body as she watched Chaeyoung. She knew she should be inside, her mommy would freak out with her lack of a coat. She shivered, freezing and terrified, but she remain unmoving.

The sounds of gunshots rang loudly in her ears, sending shockwaves of fear down Nico’s spine. It wasn’t a good sound. She didn’t like it. She held tighter to the fuzzy blanket wrapped around her shoulders and swung her legs, remaining a silent observer. 

She watched as her Umma lowered her weapon and put it down on the table before walking towards her paper target, not noticing Nico’s watchful gaze. Nico hoped down off her chair and wondered over to her Umma’s weapon, climbing on another chair to be able to inspect the thing. She had seen it before, but she had never actually gotten to touch it. 

Nico poked the thing curiously and cautiously, afraid it would burn her. It had the opposite effect, the metal cold under her fingers. She made a move to pick it up, feeling the coolness of the metal all but burning her hands. 

“Nico!” Chaeyoung yelled as she finally noticed the curious little girl. “Put it down!” Nico, afraid by Chaeyoung’s tone instantly dropped the weapon, causing Chaeyoung to hold her breath as it hit the table, the loud clank of the metal hitting the glass table resonating through the snowy backyard. Chaeyoung ran over and grabbed it away from Nico. “What were you doing?”

“I was just looking Umma.” Nico pouted. 

“Nico guns are not toys, you shouldn’t be playing with them or touching you they can seriously hurt you.” Chaeyoung nodded. 

“I-I’m sorry.” Nico stuttered, afraid of a scolding. 

“I know you don’t know better, but this is serious sweetheart, guns are very dangerous and many kids have gotten hurt around them. Your lucky I remembered to turn the safety on.” Chaeyoung sighed.

“Umma can I learn?” Nico pointed to the gun. 

“No way, not until your way older.”

“How much older?”

“Eighteen at least.” Chaeyoung rolled her eyes. “Baby guns are not toys, even if you don’t point them at yourself, which never do, the recoil could do some serious damage to you.” Chaeyoung nodded. 

“R-Re?

“Recoil, when you shot a gun the force is so great the gun pushes back against you, your too little it would hurt your hands and probably hit your head.” Chaeyoung nodded. “Just stay away from guns no matter what okay?” Nico nodded tearfully.  “I won’t tell mommy about this if you promise to never touch our weapons again.”

“I promise.” Nico nodded. “I just wanted to see it.” Nico’s tears rolled down her cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“Just never do it again okay?” Nico nodded. “Do you want to go back inside?”

“No I want to keep watching you.” Nico nodded. 

“You need some protection then, stay right there okay?” Nico nodded and watched as Chayeoung left and returned with ear protection and eye glasses. Nico watched as Chaeyoung put them on her. Once Nico was safe Chaeyoung returned to her previous spot, aiming her gun at the target on the other side of the lawn. Nico watched as Chaeyoung shot once, twice, three , four times, never missing her target. 

“Nico this is where you are,” Nico jumped when she felt someone’s hand on her back, the voice muffled by the earmuffs. “You had me so worried.” Sana sighed, Chaeyoung putting her gun down and turning to her girlfriend. 

“Hey babe,” Chaeyoung put her weapon away (after ensuring the safety was on) in it’s holster and gave Sana a peck on the cheek. Nico pulled her ear protection off and held her arms out for Sana to pick her up. 

“Sorry I spooked you earlier, did you think I was a monster?” Nico nodded, cuddling into Sana’s neck. 

“Silly mommy,” Nico sighed. “Monsters aren’t real.”


	5. fuzzy socks and princess bandaids (nahyo, part one)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nahyo won a poll on my twitter (@onceuponaloona), so here's the first half of the nahyo one shot i promised

“Mom! I’m home!” Nayeon smiled as she heard her daughter’s voice.

“Hey Hye.” Nayeon smiled as she peaked into the living room, watching her seven year old pry her old tennis shoes off her feet, standing in her bright green fuzzy socks Momo had given her for Christmas. Nayeon winced when she noticed three new Disney Princess bandaids on her daughter’s left knee. “How was practice?”

“It was good,” Hyemi smiled at her. “What’s for dinner?”

“I picked up some takeout for you, it’s in the fridge,” Nayeon smiled at Hyemi. She winced as Hyemi peeled off her dirty socks, revealing blistered red swollen feet. She tried not to look too long, she had seen Hyemi’s feet after practice too many times to ever want to look at them again. “Do you need some bandaids?”

“I can go get them,” Hyemi nodded. “Can you clean my skates for me?” Hyemi handed over her pink skate bag and Nayeon nodded, watching as Hyemi limped away. She took them into the small kitchen, pulling the small skates out of her bag and grabbed a wash cloth from the counter. The skates were old, the tongue had lost almost all it’s stiffness, the once white skates had faded into a yellowish color, the insides had been rubbed raw, and the skates had scoffs all over the worn leather. Nayeon sighed, she had bought them for her daughter what felt like a lifetime ago, but in reality was two Christmases ago. 

Hyemi had picked up ice skating at the ripe old age of four, and after begging Nayeon for months she began skating lessons at the closest rink. It was still over a twenty minute walk from their apartment, but Hyemi had loved skating so much Nayeon wouldn’t let anything stop her. At first Nayeon thought it was a phase, most kids Hyemi’s age went through phases with wanting to try many different sports, but Hyemi put her all into ice skating. And damn, she was good at it.

Nayeon didn’t know where she got it from, Nayeon couldn’t walk downstairs without nearly tripping and she had only been ice skating once in her life. Hyemi’s dad was just as bad as her, considering the only time he had been skating was on their third date, what turned out to be their last date. Yet somehow Hyemi was given a gift, and Hyemi’s lesson coaches commented on it constantly. She watched as Hyemi surpassed all her ice skating classmates and at seven she was already in lessons with girls two years older than her. Nayeon was insanely proud of her, but of all the sports figure skating was on a little high on the costly side. She had to save for a year to get her five year old daughter a pair of midrange skates. She hadn’t been able to afford any since. Hyemi’s feet had obviously grown since she was five, and now her feet were painfully rubbing against the sides causing endless painful blisters. But Hyemi never complained. Not once. She took incredible care of her skates, constantly asking Nayeon to wipe them clean after she used them and she took impeccable care of the blades. 

“Hey mom,” Hyemi tapped on her shoulder as she came up behind Nayeon. “Hug?” Nayeon put the skates down and hugged her daughter tightly. She knelt down to hug her daughter tighter. “How was work?”

“Hm,” Nayeon hummed. “Normal,” Nayeon answered. “I love you baby.” Nayeon kissed Hyemi’s hair. 

“I love you too mom,” Hyemi smiled at her. “Now can I go get something to eat?”

“Oh yeah sorry,” Nayeon giggled as she released Hyemi. “Auntie Momo is coming over later, she’s going to help you with your stretching.” 

“Really?” Hyemi smiled. “Is she bringing baby Saki?”

“Saki’s not much of a baby anymore silly,” Nayeon laughed at her daughter. “She’s about to turn four, and she’ll be an Unnie soon.”

“Yeah but she’s so little mom,” Hyemi giggled.

“Yeah she is, but no she’s staying at a friends house tonight and Auntie Mina is staying with Auntie Sana so it’ll just be us three.” Nayeon watched as her daughter put her dinner in the microwave. “I’ll go put your skates away, are you going to practice by yourself tomorrow?”

“You promised we could go to the new rink downtown tomorrow, don’t you remember mom?” Hyemi asked. 

“Oh yeah sorry, we can do that.” Nayeon smiled. “Your birthday is coming up kiddo, have you thought of anything you want yet?”

“Um maybe a birthday cake?” Hyemi shrugged. “And for all my Auntie’s to come over.”

“Okay that’s a good start, do you maybe want to invite some friends?”

“Maybe, can Saki come?”

“Of course baby,” Nayeon nodded. “I don’t think we could stop Saki, she adores you a lot. But when I asked I meant more like presents.”

“I don’t need any presents.”

“You sure?” Nayeon asked, sitting across from her daughter. 

“Yeah mom, there’s nothing I could want.” Hyemi shrugged.

“Okay,” Nayeon sighed. “Good luck telling your Aunts that.” Hyemi giggled and started eating her noodles. 

 

xx

 

“Mom look I can pull my foot higher than Auntie Momo!” Hyemi squealed, pulling her foot behind her back. “I’ve been trying to do that for years.”

“I’m just getting old kiddo,” Momo nodded. “Don’t feel too superior.”

“But aren’t you younger than my mom?” Hyemi asked as Momo pushed Hyemi’s foot higher.

“I am,” Momo laughed. “Which means your mom is basically a dinosaur.”

“Hey! I’m not hearing this!” Nayeon whined without looking up from her phone. Momo and Hyemi both laughed, Momo releasing Hyemi’s leg and Hyemi swinging her leg. 

 

“You’ve gotten pretty flexible HyeHye, I don’t know where you get it from your mom is the least flexible person I know.” Momo commented. 

“Thank you,” Hyemi laughed. 

“I’m not the least flexible there’s no way Jeongyeon is less flexible than me.” Nayeon protested. 

“Oh Nayeon, remember the prenatal yoga class?” Momo laughed.

“Okay that was a misunderstanding, I was making it harder than I was supposed to-”

“Nayeon stop,” Momo laughed. “We know your inflexible.”

“It’s not my fault all my friends were dancers in high school.” Nayeon pouted. 

“You only had two dancer friends in high school.” Momo nodded. “Me and Sana.”

“How is Sana?”

“Are you avoiding the subject?” Momo laughed. 

“No I’m simply inquiring how your pregnant wife is,” Nayeon denied. 

“She’s good, she’s been extra cuddly lately, since she’s about to enter her third trimester,” Momo giggled.

“It’s a girl right? Have you come up with a name?” Nayeon asked. 

“Not yet, Saki wants to name her puppy because we told her she couldn’t get a puppy until after her little sister turns four.” Momo laughed.

“Your daughter is something that’s for sure.” Nayeon nodded. “Hyemi sweetheart why don’t you take a bath?”

“One more stretch.” Hyemi stood against the wall. “Auntie Momo can you push my shoulders back?”

“Sure thing kiddo,” Momo pushed Hyemi’s shoulders. 

“What’s that for?” Nayeon asked.

“Turn out,” Hyemi answered. “It’s for spread eagles.”

“Spread what?” Nayeon asked. 

“I’ll show you tomorrow okay mom?” Hyemi laughed as her Aunt released her shoulders. 

“Good job today kiddo, remember to work on stretching before and after practice okay?” Momo asked her niece, offering a high five. 

“Thank you Auntie Momo,” Hyemi gave her Aunt a high five. “Mom can you help me wash my hair?”

“Of course love, wash yourself off first and then I’ll come in and help you.” Nayeon answered her daughter, Hyemi nodding and making her way across the small living room and into Nayeon’s bedroom. 

“Did you ask her what she wants for her birthday?” Momo asked, sitting next to Nayeon on the couch.

“She said she doesn’t want anything,” Nayeon sighed. “She’s impossible to shop for I swear.”

“I don’t think she’s impossible, she likes everything we get her.” Momo shrugged. 

“That’s what I’m worried about, she never asks for anything and she never complains, it’s like she’s afraid to tell me her opinions.” Nayeon sighed. “I mean what seven year old says they want nothing for their birthday?”

“I don’t know, she’s really down to earth, you have to wander where she gets it from.” Momo teased. 

“Hey,” Nayeon whined. “I’m raising a daughter alone on an assistants salary I would say that’s pretty down to earth.”

“And that’s why Hye is so practical, she knows your trying your best and she loves you but she knows you don’t have as much money as some of her friend’s parents.” Momo explained. “It’s okay, it’s not like our parents were much better off raising us.”

“I will never be my parents.” Nayeon nodded. “Hyemi deserves so much better than what I got.” Nayeon sighed.

“Hey your doing great as Hyemi’s mother,” Momo nodded.

“Thanks Mo,” Nayeon smiled at her friend. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Momo smiled at her longtime friend. “Hey, Mina wants me to ask you if you want her to get Hyemi new skates for her birthday.”

“No way, that’s way too expensive of a gift for an Aunt.” Nayeon nodded. “I got it.”

“Unnie,” Momo sighed. “I’ve seen Hyemi’s feet.” 

“I know, I just, I want to be the one to provide for her, it pains me to see her feet too.” Nayeon groaned. 

“I know Unnie, but its okay to ask for help. Most skaters are sponsored,” Momo looked her friend in the eyes. 

“I guess but Mina isn’t her sponsor, she’s her Aunt, and I know your wife is rich and all but this is too much even for her.” Nayeon nodded. 

“Okay,” Momo sighed. “Anyway, I promised Sana I would be home quickly, she wants more cuddles and apparently Mina won’t get off her phone because she’s worried about Saki.”

“Oh yeah I heard about that, your daughter’s first sleep over huh?”

“It was Saki’s idea, we’ve known the parents since before Saki was even born, they’re an old friend of Mina’s, and they live down the street, Mina’s just going all protective mommy.” Momo rolled her eyes. “And Sana’s complaining because Mina won’t stop checking her phone.”

“Sounds fun, Hyemi doesn’t like spending the night at other peoples houses and her bed is too small to have others over, anyway thanks for coming over, it means a lot to Hyemi.” Nayeon smiled at her friend, opening her arms to wrap her arms around Nayeon.

“Of course, I’ll text you,” Momo smiled. “I’ll put the table back, you can go help your daughter.”

“Thanks Momo,” Nayeon smiled at her friend. “Tell Sana to take care and that I miss that bitch and she needs to come over soon.” 

“I will,” Momo laughed. “Tell Hyemi goodnight and that I love her.”

“Of course.” Nayeon smiled. “Bye babe.”

xx

 

“Mommy,” Hyemi muttered sleepily from her bedroom door, adorned in Nayeon’s old teeshirt and pajama pants Hyemi had picked out from the nearest thrift store. “Are you still up?” Nayeon looked up from the old television set she had stolen from her parents when they moved. 

“Yeah baby, what’s up?” Hyemi wordlessly made her way over to Nayeon and cuddled close to her.

“Can’t sleep.” Hyemi muttered. “The neighbors are fighting again.” Nayeon sighed at Hyemi’s admission. Their shitty apartment building had thin walls and Hyemi’s bedroom was right next to their dysfunctional neighbors bedroom. 

 

“I’m sorry sweetie, why don’t you sleep with me tonight okay?” Hyemi nodded and Nayeon kissed the side of Hyemi’s head Hyemi cuddled up to Nayeon’s chest, resting her face just above Nayeon’s collarbone and laid her body on Nayeon’s stomach. Nayeon loved these moments, when Hyemi was tired enough to snuggle up to her. Nayeon didn’t mind if she woke up burning hot the next morning, or if her back hurt from sleeping on the couch (Hyemi had gotten to the point when she was just a bit too heavy for Nayeon to carry her), it was worth it for her daughter to have a nice night of sleep. 

Nayeon turned off the television and grabbed a blanket off the side of the small couch, wrapping it around the half asleep lump on top of her. Hyemi muttered a quick thank you and cuddled close to her mother.

“Goodnight Hye Hye, I love you more than you even know.” Nayeon whispered, kissing Hyemi’s dark messy hair. Nayeon sighed and raked her fingers through her daughter’s hair to smooth it down. Hyemi muttered a quick I love you too mommy as her breathing evened out on top of Nayeon. Nayeon yawned and closed her eyes, feeling Hyemi’s breath on her neck. Even if money was tight and Nayeon could barely take her job and Hyemi went to a shitty school district because Nayeon couldn’t afford a house in a nicer area, Nayeon wouldn’t trade this moment for the world, to her, it was perfect.

 

xx

 

“Mom you should come skate with me!” Hyemi smiled at Nayeon as she expertly laced up her old skates.

“No way honey, my heels already hurt me enough I don’t need anymore blisters.” Nayeon nodded. She hadn’t been skating with Hyemi in awhile, and her daughter had gotten a lot better at tying her skates. She remembers the first time Hyemi went skating and Nayeon spent ten minutes trying to figure out how to tie ice skates. Hyemi had whined because she was too esthetic to go and Nayeon had to calm her with apple juice so she would sit still long enough for her to finish tying them. Sometimes Nayeon found herself missing Hyemi’s toddler days, her daughter was growing up too fast, and Nayeon knew one day she would turn around and Hyemi wouldn’t need her anymore. 

“Well, can you at least watch me?” Hyemi asked. 

“Of course baby girl,” Nayeon smiled at her daughter, “be careful okay?”

“Yup,” Hyemi nodded, standing up, considerably taller than before. Hyemi had always been a little small for her age. Nayeon wasn’t the tallest in her family, nor was her mother for that matter. Her sister had inherited the tall genes from their dad, but they had skipped over Nayeon and Hyemi. Nayeon had never met Hyemi’s dad’s parents, but he wasn’t the tallest either, so Nayeon assumed Hyemi’s chances of being tall were on the low end. 

“You have your water bottle right?”

“Yup, thanks mom,” Hyemi smiled at her mom before walking away from Nayeon and joining the crowd of people around the entrance to the outdoor rink. Nayeon walked around the edge of the outdoor ice rink, finding a nice place bench by the side to watch her daughter. Hyemi made a few laps through the masses of people to warm her legs up before making her way to the middle of the rink, where there was a nice conned off area for figure skaters to practice. Hyemi started with a simple sit spin, smiling at Nayeon when she finished. God her daughter was so talented. 

“May I sit here?” Nayeon was interrupted from staring at her daughter an turned to the voice. Nayeon sucked in a breath, she was beautiful. Her shoulder length hair and tan skin was practically glowing. Her coat screamed rich and Nayeon noticed she was wearing a Gucci belt. 

“Oh yeah, go ahead.” Nayeon nodded, quickly turning back to her daughter she watched as Hyemi did a nice single axle then a single toe loop, her proud smile just getting wider. 

“Your sister?” The stranger asked, which made Nayeon laugh. 

“My daughter,” Nayeon laughed. 

“She’s talented,” The woman commented. “How old is she?”

“She’ll be eight in two weeks.” Nayeon answered. 

“And already doing an axle? Wow.”

“Is that that big of a deal? I only know about skating from what my daughter tells me.” Nayeon laughed nervously.  

“It’s pretty impressive in my opinion, my niece did competitive skating for quite a while, and she couldn’t do an axle until she was ten.” The woman nodded. “Oh how rude of me, I’m Park Jihyo.”

“Im Nayeon, and my daughter is Im Hyemi.” Nayeon knew she had heard the woman’s name before, but she wasn’t quite sure where.

“I haven’t heard her name around competitions and I attend almost all of them with my niece.”

“Oh Hyemi doesn’t skate competitively, competitions are too expensive especially on top of lessons, the two of us agreed to wait and build up her base skills and save some money for competitions.” Nayeon shrugged. She really shouldn’t be telling all this to a stranger, but the woman had nothing but pure intentions in her expression. 

“Well that’s a waste,” The woman commented. “She’s too talented to not being skating competitively.”

“I agree, but competitions are so expensive, the cost of a choreographer, the cost of the outfits, she would probably need new skates or something, and traveling and coaching fees, it’s too much.” Nayeon denied, she looked at the woman once more, finally realizing who she was. Park Jihyo, the millionaire CEO of Park industries. She had met her at Mina, Momo, and Sana’s wedding.  And she had read countless articles about her. “This is weird but are you friends with Myoui Mina?”

“Oh yes, now I know where I’ve seen you, you were at their wedding. We spoke briefly but you disappeared before I could introduce myself.” The woman laughed awkwardly. 

“Oh yeah sorry, Hyemi was the flower girl and my friends tell me I have a tendency to get hyper fixated on her.” Nayeon laughed nervously. 

“Well isn’t that sweet,” Jihyo smiled at her. “Hey I have-”

“Mom! You weren’t watching!” Hyemi interrupted their conversation as she skated to the side of the rink. 

“Oh sorry honey,” Nayeon turned to her daughter. “One minute okay?” Hyemi nodded at Nayeon’s question. “Sorry.” Nayeon turned back to Jihyo. “What were you about to ask?”

“Let’s talk about it later, I know we don’t know each other that well but I have a proposition for you, I would love to discuss it over dinner, you can bring Hyemi if you would like, are you free next Tuesday night?”

“Hyemi doesn’t have practice, so nope.” Nayeon nodded. 

“Great, I’ll get Mina to tell you where to meet me, it’s been nice talking to you Ms. Im, bye Hyemi,” Jihyo nodded to them as she left the room.

“Mom who was that?” Hyemi asked once Jihyo was our of earshot. 

“A friend of Auntie Mina’s,” Nayeon shrugged. “Don’t worry about it love.”

“Okay?” Hyemi asked. “Mom can you film me? I want to make sure I’m doing things right.”

“Of course baby,” Nayeon left the bench and joined her daughter at the edge of the rink. She held her phone up as Hyemi skated, her mind anywhere but there. She thought about her weird encounter with Park Jihyo, and what someone like Jihyo could want with someone like her. 

 

xx

 

“You made it,” Jihyo greeted as they came into the fancy restaurant, they were the only ones there, and Nayeon felt intimidated. Ever since their park meeting Nayeon had been doing research on Park Jihyo, mainly interrogating Mina about what she could possibly want with her. Mina told her Jihyo didn’t mean any harm, and that she was desperate. She wouldn’t tell Nayeon what she was desperate for, but all she knew is that Jihyo being at the random park in the middle of town was not a coincidence. She was scared, but Mina reassured her it was nothing illegal and Jihyo was asking her because she thought Nayeon would be perfect. 

“Hi,” Nayeon breathed. “Hyemi-ah say hi to Ms.Park.” Hyemi was huddled behind Nayeon, dawned in her nicest dress. 

“Hi,” Hyemi whispered shyly. 

“Hyemi there’s a little park through that door if you want to go play, we can come get you when we’re done okay?” Hyemi nodded and ran off. 

“Don’t get too dirty Hyemi.” Nayeon called after her daughter, sitting down across from Jihyo. “So, what do we owe the pleasure Ms. Richest woman in Seoul?”

“I’m not the richest.” Jihyo blushed. “And I can’t take credit for everything.”

“Humble and rich,” Nayeon mumbled. “Figures.”

“I have something to ask of you.” Jihyo retained her composer. “It might be a little much, but I think you’ll be like what you’ll get in return.”

“What is it?” Nayeon asked heart pounding.

“I want to be your daughter’s sponsor.” Jihyo looked Nayeon in the eyes. 

“What’s the catch Park?”  Nayeon eyed her suspiciously. “And if it’s becoming your sugar baby than it’s a definite no.”

“Nothing like that. You just have to pretend to be mine, for one week.” Jihyo declared. 

“Excuse me?” Nayeon asked. “I thought I said I wouldn’t be your-”

“Don’t worry, you don’t have to be my sugar baby or whatever, it’s just I have a family reunion in Okinawa next month and my family is under the impression I’m in a relationship and well I can’t tell them the truth.” Jihyo sighed. 

“Your not in a relationship? Surprising.” Nayeon rolled her eyes. 

“I actually haven’t been in one in a long time, this reunion only happens every five years, it’s just one week.” Jihyo sighed once again. “I would be happy to bring Hyemi, you would get a free vacation and I will be Hyemi’s sponsor for her entire ice skating career, I’ll start a bank account for her skating, One hundred thousand dollars should be enough for her first year right?”

“Wait wait I still haven’t agreed.” Nayeon sighed. “You still haven’t really answered why.”

“Well, all my siblings and cousins are either married and happy or happily in a relationship and my grandmother keeps asking when I’m going to settle down. I can’t see her disappointed look again, she might not make it to the next reunion, even if it is a lie I need her to be happy for me at least once before she dies. And I need to get my parents off my back, it’s just a week please.” Jihyo begged. 

“Why me? Of all the people why me? You know plenty of rich people why didn’t you pick one of them?” Nayeon questioned. 

 

“Trust me, your so much better than those, how do I put this in polite conversation?”

 

“Hoes?” Nayeon asked. 

“Yeah, hoes,” Jihyo laughed. “Trust me, your the only one I want to ask this of.”

“Why? Do you believe in my daughter that much or something?”

“Sure, something like that,” Jihyo took a sip of the glass of wine in front of her. 

“Okay.” Nayeon groaned. “One week. I’ll be your girlfriend for one week.”

“Thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me.” Jihyo smiled.“I already ordered some food for us, the waiter is waiting for my signal if you want to go get your daughter.” Jihyo whispered. 

“I would love to.” Nayeon sighed, standing up and opening the door. Hyemi was sitting at a bench, talking with her favorite stuffed rabbit that Nayeon had stuffed into her purse earlier, it was only then she realized Hyemi had taken her purse outside with her. “Hye, dinner.”

“Okay mom,” Hyemi smiled at her and stuffed her rabbit back into Nayeon’s purse. “What did you talk about?” Hyemi asked coming over to Nayeon’s side and taking her hand.

 

“I’ll tell you later okay sweetheart?” Hyemi nodded as Nayeon lead them back outside. When they returned Jihyo was waiting for them with a dinner Nayeon knew she could never afford. She knew she was doomed when Hyemi said she loved it, and when Hyemi started opening up to Jihyo. Jihyo and her exchanged numbers, and Nayeon saved Jihyo’s number as Miss Park, until Hyemi changed it to Auntie Jihyo when Nayeon gave her her phone to play with on the car ride home.

 

xx

 

“Auntie Momo guess what?” Hyemi asked as her Aunt wrapped her up in a tight hug.

“What birthday girl?” Momo asked with a giggle. 

“My mom went on a date,” Nayeon froze from where she was sitting across from her on Momo, Mina, and Sana’s couches. 

“Wait Nayeon Unnie went on a date?” Sana asked from her position where she was cuddled with Momo.

“No I didn’t Hyemi what are you talking about?”

“Auntie Jihyo.” Hyemi answered. “We went out to dinner the other day, it was really yummy.”

“Oh your already calling her Auntie Jihyo?” Sana smirked.

“Nayeon Unnie your moving pretty fast if your daughter is already calling her Auntie.” Momo teased. 

“Hyemi it wasn’t a date-”

“Sorry Mom, would love to talk but I promised Saki I would play with her after she finished going to the bathroom,” Hyemi laughed as she ran upstairs and they heard the door to Saki’s bedroom closing. 

“So a date?”

“Guys it wasn’t a date, we had something to talk about it.” Nayeon nodded. “Oh hey Mina,” Nayeon tried to change the subject as Mina came into the room with a white baby blanket and stuffed bear in her hands. 

“Hi,” Mina greeted. “Be right back I’m going to go put these with the rest of the laundry.”

“Go ahead and start the load of Saki’s clothes,” Sana called after her wife. “Anyway, what kind of deal did you get yourself into? Sugar baby? Work associates?”

“No, but you can’t freak out when I tell you this.” Nayeon sighed.

“You think too little of us,” Momo muttered as Sana nuzzled her back into Momo’s chest, Momo resting her hands on Sana’s swollen stomach. 

“Well um I agreed to be her uh, date, to her family reunion in Okinawa.” Nayeon sighed.

“Her date as in her fake girlfriend?” Sana asked.

“Well, yes.” Nayeon sighed.

“Oh my god,” Sana squealed. 

“Nayeonie actually has a girlfriend!” Momo smiled. 

“Shut up it’s a fake girlfriend.” Nayeon defended. 

 

“Nayeon Unnie has a girlfriend?” Mina asked as she came into to the her room. 

“I do not!” Nayeon screamed. “I just agreed to your friend’s plan.”

“Oh you agreed?” Mina asked. “I didn’t think you would.”

“Yes well, it would make Hyemi so happy and she deserves it.” Nayeon sighed.

“Oh speaking of Hyemi, Jihyo got her a birthday gift.” Mina spoke up. “Here I put it in the living room.”

“Jihyo got her a birthday gift?” Sana asked. “Was that a part of your deal.”

“I don’t know I didn’t think so.” Nayeon asked. “Maybe it has to do with her skating? That’s what the deal was about.” 

“Hyemi’s skating huh? Did she agree to be her sponsor?”

“Yes actually,” Nayeon sighed. “That’s why I said yes, for Hyemi.”

“Dang,” Momo muttered. “Your really getting the better end of the bargain huh?”

“Yeah, I guess I am.” Nayeon sighed. “Hey Mina, why did Jihyo choose me?”

“I don’t really know to be honest with you,” Mina shrugged placing a gift in Nayeon’s lap. “Why don’t you give this to her later?”

“I will, after I open it first, I want to make sure Jihyo’s not sending my daughter something creepy.” Nayeon nodded, shaking the large box in her lap. 

“Jihyo wouldn’t do that,” Mina nodded. “I’m sure whatever she got Hyemi will love.” Mina wrapped her arms around Momo’s shoulder. “Satang you need anything?”

“Nope I’m good.” Sana grinned, pecking Mina’s cheek. 

“You guys are disgusting,” Nayeon scowled.

 

“You love us.” Momo smiled. 

“I love Sana and Mina, the jury is still out on you,” Nayeon teased. 

“I think it’s good Nayeon Unnie has a sugar mommy,” Sana laughed. “It’s everything she needs, money, love, and sex.”

“Oh my god Sana your pregnant.” Nayeon blushed. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sana giggled.

“Also, she’s not my my sugar mommy!” Nayeon blushed.

Once the kids’ bedtimes rolled around Nayeon leaves her friends apartments, leaving the hungry Sana with the rest of Hyemi’s birthday cake, with a backpack full of Hyemi’s gifts and the still wrapped one from Jihyo tucked under her arm. Hyemi was too tired to question as Mina drove them home, and she went straight to bed and Nayeon looked over the gift in her small bedroom. She carefully unwrapped the package, gasping when she opened the gift.

Sitting in Nayeon’s lap was a pair of Edea skates and a pair of John Willson blades, and Nayeon knew the pair easily cost over fifteen hundred dollars. She found a note from Jihyo on top of one of the white skates. 

 

Dear Hyemi

Happy birthday! I had to guess on your size, so tell your mom to text me if they don’t fit and we can go get them custom fit for you.

Enjoy, 

Auntie Jihyo

 

xx

 

Nayeon groaned as she looked through her luggage, she didn’t have nice enough clothes for this. She had asked Mina to borrow some of her fancy clothes, but she found Mina’s closet to be mostly long sleeve clothing that all cost at least two grande, not very fitting for a beach trip. She didn’t even want to look at Hyemi’s clothing. 

The day of their trip Nayeon takes Hyemi with her to the airport. She had waited to explain to Hyemi what was happening with the deal, the girl being distracted with her brand new ice skates. She even packed them, even though Nayeon told her not too. Hyemi hadn’t been on a vacation, ever. Nayeon felt bad about it, but they were expensive and Hyemi never asked to go anywhere. 

They meet Jihyo at her company, Hyemi’s eyes widening at Jihyo’s large office.

“Here,” Jihyo smiled at Nayeon as she handed her a credit card. “It’s for Hyemi, I’ll refill it at the end of every year. It has a hundred thousand already, but I don’t mind adding more.”

“A hundred thousand is more than enough for her entire career.” Nayeon nodded. “Thank you.”

“Don’t worry, the account is under your name, so if you don’t like the card you can change it.” Jihyo shrugged. “Our flight doesn’t leave for another few hours, but I asked you here now because Mina told me you were freaking out about you and Hyemi’s clothes. We’re only going to a fancy dinner one night, but I don’t mind going shopping with you, I need a new dress as well.”

“Y-You don’t have to-”

“I don’t mind, I’ll probably be alone forever, so it will be nice to go shopping with my girlfriend and her daughter.” Jihyo winked.

“You won’t be alone forever, I’m sure dozens of men and woman knock on your door daily.” Nayeon commented. 

“Not really, Mina tells me I’m too uptight.”

“Wait Mina? As in Mrs Myoui ‘my daughter can’t go to playdates with people I haven’t known for at least four years’ Mina?”

“Mina really loves Saki, and their new baby,” Jihyo smiled. “It’s sweet. It’s funny, when we were young I was always the one that assumed I was going to be a mom first, but then Mina met Sana and Momo and well she’s getting to live her happily ever after. Anyway, let’s go.”

“Hye! Let’s go!” Nayeon called her daughter, who was staring out the large window. 

“Coming mom.” Hyemi answered, running to Nayeon’s side and taking her hand. “Where are we going?”

“We’re going on a little shopping trip.” Nayeon nodded.

 

“But I don’t need anything.” Hyemi nodded. 

“Well maybe you need a few things because we’re going to dinner with my family,” Jihyo explained to Hyemi. “Your mom and I are getting something too.”

“That’s why we’re going to Japan?” Hyemi asked. 

 

“Your mom hasn’t explained anything?” Jihyo turned to Nayeon. “I think you should explain things to Mrs Im.”

“Yeah I will, but just because your buying me and my daughter a few outfits I still won’t be your sugar baby.” Nayeon nodded.

 

“Don’t worry, I’m not looking for one,” Jihyo laughed. 

“Mom?” Hyemi called. “What’s a sugar baby?” Nayeon wanted to sink into a puddle. 

 

xx

 

Jihyo didn’t hold back, and even though Hyemi never asked for anything Jihyo still managed to buy Hyemi everything that caught in her young eyes in the expensive children’s boutique. At least the tags didn’t have prices, so Nayeon couldn’t see how much Jihyo spent on a sweater for her daughter. She basically doubled Hyemi’s closet by the end, and Nayeon could see how uncomfortable and nervous it made Hyemi to have so much given to her at once. After finishing there Jihyo takes Nayeon to the high end mall where there was two Gucci stores and the largest Chanel Nayeon had ever seen. 

Jihyo didn’t let Nayeon say no to something, and she ended up buying Nayeon a two thousand dollar dress. It was too much, and Nayeon now understood why her daughter had been uncomfortable earlier. Jihyo tells them she’ll have their clothes shipped to Okinawa and on the way to the airport Hyemi falls asleep in the back of Jihyo’s range rover. 

“Did I make you two uncomfortable earlier?” Jihyo asks after Hyemi has been asleep for awhile. “Sorry if I did, I’m not used to having friends that aren’t Mina, Tzuyu, Dahyun, or Chaeyoung. ” 

“So non rich people?” Nayeon asked. “It’s fine I’m sure your family will be extremely judgmental about my clothes, it’s good Hyemi and I will at least dress for the occasion, you can return them when we get back, I told Hyemi to be careful not to stain her clothing.”

“She doesn’t have to worry, I don’t mind.” Jihyo nodded. “There will be other kids there, I want Hyemi to be comfortable, I already feel terrible because we’re making her lie.”

“Well I’m not that excited about teaching my daughter to lie, but it’s for the greater good.” Nayeon sighed. “I used to keep a little jar under my bed, I called it Hyemi’s competitive funds, it didn’t have much, I wasn’t able to put much in it, but I foolishly hoped that one day I would be able to fund her skating, she loves it so much.” 

“I know she does, I think it’s amazing.” Jihyo smiled fondly. 

“I think so too.” 

 

xx

 

“Mommy!” Hyemi squealed as the plane took off.

“Hey baby calm down,” Nayeon sighed.

“Is she okay?” Jihyo asked from the seat next to them. 

“Yeah, it’s her first time on a plane, nothing to worry about, thank you though Miss Park.”

“Jihyo.” Jihyo insisted. “We’re dating now aren’t we? It would be weird if you kept calling me Miss Park.”

“Yeah okay then, Jihyo.”


	6. fuzzy socks and princess bandaids (nahyo, part two)

“Mommy,” Nayeon turned to her daughter, who was tugging on her shirt. “Is it over?” Hyemi asked, looking around the plane as everyone stood up. 

“Yes baby, it’s over,” Nayon laughed, wrapping her arm around Hyemi’s shoulder. 

“Thank god,” Hyemi exhaled. “Mom can you grab my skating bag for me?”

“Sure give me-”

“Here you go Hyemi,” Jihyo smiled and handed the bag to Hyemi, who smiled at her. 

“Thank you Auntie Jihyo.”

“No problem Hyemi.” Jihyo stepped out of their seat row and grabbed Nayeon’s carry on, then her own.

“Come on Hye,” Nayeon held her daughter’s hand as she lead her out of the plane. Jihyo lead them to the luggage pick up and then lead the to the car she rented to drive them out to where they were meeting Jihyo’s family. Once they got all their stuff into the expensive car, Jihyo took the keys and drove away from the crowded airport, Hyemi once again falling asleep in the back seat. 

“She likes to sleep in cars huh?” Jihyo asked without looking away from the road. 

“Yeah,” Nayeon shrugged. “When she was a baby and she wouldn’t stop crying I would just drive her around and she would instantly fall asleep. I guess she’s developed a habit, it’s good, I always used to get super motion sick when I rode in the back.”

“So, tell me a little about yourself.” Jihyo sighed. “If we, well you know, are going to be dating.”

“Sure, want to play twenty questions?”

“Sure,” Jihhyo nodded. “You can ask me twenty things too.”

“Alright, you go first hot shot,” Jihyo rolled her eyes at Nayeon’s nickname. 

“When were you born?”

“Nice try, a lady never reveals her age, my daughter doesn’t even know how old I really am.” Nayeon rolled her eyes. 

“Fine, what’s your Chinese zodiac?”

“I’m a pig, you?”

“So you were born in 1995, making you 29 years old.” Jihyo laughed. “Your not that old you know.”

“Oh my god, do you just have the Chinese zodiac memorized?”

“Well, Unnie, I’m a Rat because my birthday is in January of 1997.” Jihyo snickered. “Your only one zodiac ahead of me, lots of people I went to school with pigs.”

“Do I really have to deal with you calling me Unnie for the next week?” Nayeon groaned.

“Yup, Unnie,” Jihyo smirked. “We’ve both used two questions.”

“Of course, you CEOs are so goddamn sly.”

“It’s what they teach us in CEO school, always be listening to everything people say, and internalize everything. Never trust anyone.” Jihyo’s expression contorted to something more serious. “That goes for this reunion. I know were not friends or anything like that, but please don’t get mixed up with some of the people in my family.”

“You never told me we were entering the snake den.” Nayeon sighed. 

“You never asked.” Jihyo sighed. “Anyway, just don’t get too close.”

“Yeah yeah all rich people are monsters I’ve seen movies.” Nayeon shrugged. 

“So you think I’m a monster.”

“So you think your rich?” Nayeon nodded. “I’m kidding, your loaded. And I guess I don’t know you well enough to figure out what kind of monster you are.” Nayeon shrugged. 

“Well, thank you for not judging me prematurely, I guess?”

 

“Oh uh, your welcome.” They stay quiet for the rest of the car ride. 

 

xx

 

Hyemi instantly wakes up when Nayeon taps her shoulder and quietly follows her mom out of the car, gripping Nayeon’s hand tightly. “Where are we?” Hyemi whispered to her mom. 

“This is where we’ll be staying for the next few days kiddo.” Nayeon responded, feeling Jihyo come over to her side as an older woman came out to greet them.

“Jihyo,” The woman greeted. “It’s nice to see you.”

“It’s nice to see you too mom,” Jihyo nodded. “Mom, this is my girlfriend Im Nayeon,” Jihyo and introduced. “And her daughter, Hyemi.” Hyemi hid behind her mother when Jihyo introduced her. 

“Oh come on Hyemi, no need to be shy,” Jihyo’s mother smiled. “There are lots of other kids already playing inside if you want to go find them its your first door upstairs, can’t miss it.” Hyemi looked to Nayeon for what to do and Nayeon just nodded, Hyemi reluctantly letting go and running towards the inside of the large resort complex. 

“So Miss Im, if you don’t mind me asking where’s Hyemi’s dad?” Nayeon could tell Jihyo’s mom was judging her, looking her up and down. 

“Oh he’s uh, in the military,” Nayeon lied. “He’s a captain.”

“Mother don’t you think that was a rude question?” Jihyo interrupted their awkward conversation. 

“Well, I want to know about my potential grand daughter before she enters the family.” Jihyo’s mom defended. “Impressive, does he visit often?”

“He’s uh on tour right now,” Nayeon lied. In truth, her ex was anything but honorable, complaining about every second of his short forced military service. She just didn’t want to say that she had no idea where he was.  

“So,” Nayeon sighed. “Stock markets-”

“Let’s go inside while the butler takes your stuff in, your brother brought us some exotic tea from his travels to Africa Jihyo.” Jihyo tensed at the mention of her brother. Nayeon chose not to question. Nayeon felt Jihyo’s cold hand take her own and Nayeon took a deep breath and exhaled, this was all pretend, why not put on a little show.

 

xx

 

Hyemi finds the kids room, already enjoying herself playing with the other kids. They were running around like lunatics, and Nayeon nodded her head at how well Hyemi fit in. 

“Hey,” Jihyo sighed as she exited the bathroom to their room. Room singular. They were sharing one king sized bed, Hyemi was expected to sleep with all the other kids in the kids room. Nayeon didn’t know how comfortable she felt sharing a bed with a stranger, but she couldn’t go sleep with Hyemi without it being suspicious so she resigned herself to the fate she was going to have to suffer through the next week sharif a bed with Jihyo. 

“Hi.” Nayeon awkwardly answered. “I’m uh going to start getting unpacked.” Jihyo nodded and Nayeon went over to her suitcase, looking over the various new items. She sighed, carefully putting them on hangers and hanging them up in the closet. Nayeon heard the sound of the news behind her, briefly turning to find Jihyo watching with interest. Nayeon internally rolled her eyes, of course a dork like Jihyo watched the news. Once she was done she intinivly went for Jihyo’s open suitcase, putting her nice blouses and pants on hangers and hanging them up on the left side of the closet. 

“Oh Nayeon you didn’t have to-”

“Sorry, it’s instinct.” Nayeon apologized. “Mom instincts, I used to hanging everything.”

“Oh it’s okay.” Jihyo nodded. “Thank you.”

“Yeah sorry again.” Nayeon sighed, blushing. 

“Nayeon it’s fine, it’s cute.” Nayeon had to fight the blush. Her? Cute? She hadn’t been cute since Hyemi was born. Nayeon awakardly sat on the corner of the bed and attempted to watch with Jihyo, groaning when she realized it was in Japanese and she didn’t understand any of it. 

 

xx

 

They are expected downstairs for dinner and Nayeon was finally going to meet all of Jihyo’s family. She wears one of the white Chanel dresses Jihyo had bought for her, feeling a bit uncomfortable. Jihyo dressed in a white Gucci blouse and pants, putting on light makeup to complete her business casual look.

“Mom.” Hyemi groaned as she tried to put on one of the nice dresses Jihyo had bought for her. 

“Coming baby,” Nayeon nodded and helped Hyemi zip up her baby blue dress. 

“Mom when can I go skating?” Hyemi asked. 

“Probably not at all this week sweetheart.” Hyemi whined at Nayeon’s statement.

“But mom-”

“Im Hyemi.” Nayeon rarely had to be strict with Hyemi, the girl had been born with a good head on her shoulder and a strong sense of responsibility, but Hyemi occasionally fell into habits more typical of a girl her age. “We are not going to be doing any whining okay? We will be thankful and polite to Miss Jihyo’s family while we are here okay?” Hyemi nodded with a pout and Nayeon sighed and pulled away. “Don’t pout.”

“It’s okay Hyemi, I can take you to an ice rink tomorrow okay?” Jihyo stepped in, Hyemi smiling at her. 

“Really?” Hyemi asked excitedly. 

“Really?” Nayeon asked doubtfully. 

“If uh your mother is okay with it, sure.” Jihyo nodded. 

“Mommy please?” Hyemi asked with puppy dog eyes. 

“Fine, if Jihyo says it’s okay, but you can’t stay for more than two hours okay?” Hyemi nodded and hugged Nayeon. 

“Thank you mommy!” Hyemi squealed. 

“Come on, let’s go to dinner.” Hyemi took Nayeon’s hand and Jihyo lead them downstairs towards the dining room. The place was huge, with place cards and fancy napkins waiting. Nayeon rolled her eyes, it looked like a wedding not a family dinner. Jihyo lead them towards the end of the table, Nayeon sitting next to Jihyo and Hyemi across from them. 

“Hey Unnie,” The woman sitting next to Nayeon leaned over and greeted Jihyo.

“Hello Dahyun.” Jihyo smiled at her sister. “Nayeon, this is my little sister, Dahyun. I think I told you about her. Dahyun, this is my girlfriend Nayeon.” Jihyo hinted, Nayeon nodding. If they were dating, it was probably assumed they talked about each others families, even if it was barely true. 

“Hello Dahyun, it’s nice to meet you.” Nayeon shook Dahyun’s hand. “This is my daughter Hyemi.”

“Hi.” Hyemi smiled at Dahyun. 

“Hello Hyemi.” Dahyun asked politely. “How old are you?”

“I just turned eight.” Hyemi smiled.

“Hey my son just turned eight too,” Dahyun smiled. “He’s with my wife and daughter upstairs, my daughter is running a small fever so I’m sorry you won’t get to meet them, they were supposed to sit next to you.”

“Oh, that’s too bad.” Jihyo nodded. 

“Yes, but I’m sure I’ll have the chance to introduce you guys later.” Dahyun nodded. 

“How have you been Dahyun?” Jihyo asked politely. Nayeon squinted at Dahyun as she answered the question in detail, she knew her, but she didn’t know where from. Nayeon snapped out of her thoughts when another taller woman came over to say hi to Jihyo. 

“Nayeon, this is my cousin Jeongyeon Unnie. Jeongyeon, this is my girlfriend Nayeon, and this is my girlfriend’s daughter Hyemi.” Jihyo introduced.

“Hi Nayeon, I’m Jeongyeon, my wife Tzuyu is over there with our son.” Jeongyeon pointed. “Our daughter is around here somewhere, if you need someone to play with.” Hyemi nodded, clenching her hands under the table. Nayeon could see it on Hyemi’s face, Hyemi was nervous. She never did that well even around Nayeon’s family, being the only kid surrounded by adults was stressful for her.

“Hey Hyemi sweetie, why don’t we go wash our hands before we eat?” Hyemi nodded and followed Nayeon. “We’ll be right back,” Nayeon turned to Jihyo. 

“Of course.” Jihyo nodded, Nayeon making her way to Hyemi’s side of the table and holding her hand. She lead Hyemi down a long hallway to the bathroom and there Hyemi sighed in relief. 

“Mom?” Hyemi asked. “Why are we lying to Auntie Jihyo’s family and saying your her girlfriend.”

“Well sweetie, that’s uh an adult thing.” Nayeon sighed. “It’s just for the rest of the week okay?”

“Okay.” Hyemi nodded, washing her hands under the cool water.

“Do you like your room?”

“It’s huge mom.” Hyemi grinned. “I have a bunkmate too, she let me have the top bunk.”

“Oh that was nice of her.” Nayeon nodded, handing Hyemi a paper towel to finish cleaning her hands. Nayeon then washed her own hands before turning to her daughter. “Ready?”

“Yup.” Hyemi nodded. “Thank you mom.”

“Of course sweetheart.” Nayeon nodded. Nayeon held Hyemi’s hand until she got back in her seat, Nayeon going back to her spot besides Jihyo. Hyemi looked relieved, and Nayeon was just happy to help. 

“Question three, what food don’t you like to eat?” Jihyo leaned over and whispered to Nayeon. 

“I’ll try anything, but I don’t like overly sweet things, why?”

“Just wanted to make sure I didn’t accidentally give you something you don’t like.” Jihyo nodded. “I’ll waste a question on asking the same thing for Hyemi too.”

“Hyemi’s the same, she can’t stand things that are too sweet.” Nayeon nodded. “She likes lemon and a lot of fruity things though, like god when I was pregnant with her I ate like so much lemon candy.”

“Hm, interesting.” Jihyo nodded. “Make sure she doesn’t eat anything she’s allergic to.”

“She doesn’t have allergies.” Nayeon nodded. “And nor do I, so you don’t have to waste a precious question on that.”

“Oh good, I’m the same way.” Jihyo nodded. “Anyway, we’re being rude.” Jihyo pulled away from Nayeon right as Jihyo’s mom began a toast. Nayeon tuned it out, something about the prosperity of the family business or some junk, but she looked up when she heard her name. She blushed when Jihyo’s mom commented on how proud of Jihyo she was for finding a girl like Nayeon, and Hyemi looked on awkwardly. Once the food was finally served, Nayeon looked over the plate and made sure Hyemi wouldn’t be off put by the fancy food. It was steak, Hyemi would defiantly enjoy it. 

“So Unnie,” Dahyun turned to Jihyo. “When did you and Miss Nayeon start dating.”

“About seven months ago,” Jihyo confidently answered. 

“Ooh how did you guys meet,” Nayeon bit her tongue. Jihyo had to be a really good liar to come up with something that could explain their fake relationship. 

“I met her at the park, we ran into each other at the ice rink. We started talking and now here we are.” Nayeon was surprised with how Jihyo was able to tell the truth and keep up the lie. “I had heard about her through Mina.”

“Oh, how is Mina Unnie I haven’t seen her in forever?” Nayeon was thankful Dahyun shifted gears to something other than their lie. 

“She’s good, her second child is due soon actually.” Jihyo nodded. 

“No way,” Dahyun muttered. “Well that’s good for her.”

“Yeah, Hyemi is actually friends with her older daughter, isn’t that right Hyemi?” Jihyo turned to the quiet child.

“Oh uh yeah, I’m friends with Saki-chan.” Hyemi nodded. “We’re ice skating buddies.”

“That’s sweet,” Dahyun smiled at the girl. Nayeon took a sip of the fancy wine, finding the taste to be as refined and expensive as it probably was.

“Dahyun how was your career been?” Jihyo asked, taking the attention off Hyemi.

 

“It’s good, I’m going to a show case in Australia after this actually, Chaeng and I will be preforming together as usual.” Dahyun nodded.

“Are you bringing your children?”

“Of course, they are still on break from school.” Dahyun answered. 

“Hm, that will be fun for them.” Jihyo nodded, looking to Hyemi then Nayeon. 

“Yeah, they want to see a koala.” Dahyun smiled.

“Koala?” Hymi perked up. 

“Do you like them?” Dahyun giggled. 

“They are my favorite animals.” Hyemi smiled. 

 

“I’m a bigger fan of tigers, but koalas are cute too.” Dahyun smiled at Hyemi, who nodded before taking a bite. Nayeon felt awkward, surrounded by people she didn’t know. Her hands clenching on the table. She froze when she felt Jihyo take her hand in her own. Nayeon had to take a deep breath and remind herself, this was all pretend. 

 

xx

 

After dinner and dessert Nayeon sneaks out with the children. She retires to her and Jihyo’s room first, changing into a pair of fancy jeans and a Gucci shirt. Damn rich people, always expecting brand name clothing. After resting for a bit, she made her way to the kids room, to check on Hyemi. It was late, her daughter always went to bed at nine. She opens the door to find Hyemi and another girl sitting on the floor in front of a set of bunk beds, another set on the other side. 

“Hi mom,” Hyemi smiled at Nayeon from the doorway. “This is Meiqi, she’s my bunk mate. She’s from Taiwan.”

“That’s pretty cool sweetheart,” Nayeon nodded. “Are you tired? I brought you pajamas.”

“Thanks mom, but I’m not tired. I’ll change though.”

“Oh, are you sure?” Nayeon asked. 

“Is it our bedtime or something?” Hyemi’s friend asked. 

“Oh no no, it’s just usually Hyemi goes to bed around this time.” Nayeon nodded. “I’ll be in my room, when your ready to bed.”

“Sure, bye mom, good night.” Nayeon rolled her eyes internally at the child, she could tell Hyemi was brushing her off. She had never done that before. Nayeon knew from the day she had a little girl she would have to deal with an annoyed teenager at some point. She just thought eight was a little early. 

Nayeon angrily made her way back to the room, finding Jihyo waiting for her on the bed, the tv on as background noise. 

“Why aren’t you with your family?” Nayeon asked, sitting on the corner of the bed. 

“I couldn’t stand listening to my mom gush about my brother anymore, and when I told them you were resting my mom made me go to you.” Jihyo rolled her eyes. 

“Oh, my eight year old just gave me the brush off, so I’m going to take a shower and complain about her to Sana.” Nayeon rolled her eyes. “I’m kidding, I love Hyemi.”

“I can tell,” Jihyo laughed. “I have some work to get done, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure,” Nayeon nodded. “You never stop working do you?”

“Nope, and that was question five.” Jihyo giggled.

“Always counting huh?”

“I’ve been told I’m a bit of a genius.” Jihyo smirked. “Your wasting your questions.”

“Worth it,” Nayeon shrugged. “Your intelligent, genius is stretching it a bit.” 

“Hey, you don’t know that much about me.” Jihyo defended. 

“Let me guess, and this isn’t a question its an accusal, so you went to some fancy business school in America like Stanford or Harvard then had your family business handed over to you as a present for graduating with straight B’s.” Nayeon ranted. 

“Sorry, wrong. I went to college in Korea, I went to KAIST and I got straight A’s. I was only handed a small part of the company because the family golden boy got it.” Jihyo shrugged. “I take offense, I’m not just a normal rich kid.”

“You just bragged about getting straight A’s.” Nayeon rolled her eyes. 

“Well I worked hard.” Jihyo shrugged. “I had one friend in all my time in college, Mina.”

“That’s how you know Mina,” Nayeon muttered. “Anyway, sorry for assuming, I would have been proud if I had gotten straight A’s in college, but I dropped out so…” Nayeon trailed off. 

“Why? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Hyemi was born.” Nayeon shrugged. “I couldn’t do both, and I picked Hyemi.” Nayeon nodded. 

“That’s sad,” Jihyo muttered. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. I-I’m happy she’s in my life.” Nayeon nodded. “I’m going to go take a shower.” Jihyo nodded and opened her laptop. After Nayeon’s shower, Jihyo is totally immersed in her computer. They didn’t say anything else to each other the rest of the night, Nayeon rolling her eyes when she realized Hyemi never game to say goodnight to her. 

 

xx 

 

The next morning Jihyo takes Hyemi, Dahyun’s son, and Hyemi’s new roommate to the local ice rink. Nayeon stays on the sideline, like she always does, marveling in how impressive her daughter is. Jihyo buys her a hot chocolate and they share it together on a bench not unlike the time they met. 

“So your at six, and I’m at four.” Jihyo smirked. 

“Okay, you ask some stuff.” Nayeon took a sip of her hot chocolate.

“Where do you work?”

“I work at a law firm, I’m a secretary.” Nayeon answered. “It sucks and I hate it, next.”

“Okay,” Jihyo laughed. “When was your last relationship?”

“Hyemi’s father, eight and a half years ago.” Nayeon nodded. “We’re even, my turn.”

“Sure.” Jihyo nodded. 

“Why me?” Nayeon asked. “I’m still confused, of all the people in the world you choose me, a gorgeous woman with an equally gorgeous eight year daughter.” 

“It’s simple really,” Jihyo shrugged. “I like you.” Jihyo nodded. “Your strong, you raised a kid alone at the age of twenty, Mina talks very highly of you you know?” 

“Does she?” Nayeon fought a blush, her heart soaring. “I didn’t know.”

“Well, and Hyemi deserves everything, it’s not fair that she doesn’t get her chance just because of money.” Jihyo added. “You seem like a great person, I figured if my family was going to like anyone, it would be you.” Nayeon’s heart dropped. This was all just for Jihyo’s family. Right. 

“I’m going to the bathroom.” Nayeon got up, leaving Jihyo on the bench. Jihyo stayed silent, wondering if she messed up. 

 

xx

 

Nayeon avoids Jihyo at dinner. She switched places with Dahyun so she could sit next to Hyemi instead Jihyo. That night they went to bed without saying anything to each other. Until Hyemi opened the door at two am with tears on her cheeks. Nayeon was dead asleep, and Jihyo was still working.  

“Hey Hyemi, what’s wrong?” Jihyo walked over to Hyemi’s side. Jihyo froze as Hyemi wrapped her arms around her tightly. “Hey, calm down, it’s okay.”

“I had a bad dream, Seojun made us watch a scary movie and I want my mommy.” Hyemi sobbed, wrapping herself around Jihyo. Jihyo had never really spent a lot of time around kids, but she had always seen Hyemi as mature. But Hyemi didn’t seem all that mature right now, and Jihyo knew she had to do something. 

“Hey it’s okay, I’ll go wake your mommy up okay?” Hyemi nodded and clung onto Jihyo. “Hyemi let go of me please?”

“Don’t let go of me.” Hyemi muttered. Jihyo sighed. 

“Can I pick you up?” Hyemi nodded. Jihyo sighed before lifting the surprisingly light child into her arms and carrying her over to the bed. “Nayeon, wake up,” Jihyo shook Nayeon’s shoulder. Nayen groaned and flipped to her other side. “Wake up please.” Jihyo shook her again. 

“What?” Nayeon groaned and woke up.

“My nephew showed your daughter a scary movie and she wants you right now.” Jihyo explained.

“What?!” Nayeon sat up and saw Hyemi in Jihyo’s arm. “Come here baby.” Jihyo set Hyemi down on Nayeon’s lap. Jihyo the stepped back to give them some space. Jihyo watched as Nayeon comforted her child, shine her and telling her things would be fine. Hyemi fell asleep in Nayeon’s arms, Nayeon falling back to sleep not long after. Jihyo didn’t know what she felt in her chest. It was such a warm feeling. She looked at her laptop. 

“Don’t even think about it Park it’s two am.” Jihyo thought Nayeon was asleep, but she nodded when she realized Nayeon still had her eyes closed. Jihyo shut her laptop, putting it on the charger before making her way to the other side of the bed. 

 

xx

 

The next morning they all sleep in, but Nayeon is awake before Jihyo. Hyemi suggests bringing Jihyo breakfast in bed, and Nayeon thinks its a good thank you gift. Jihyo’s mother finds them downstairs, and she says it very sweet for her daughters girlfriend to bring her breakfast in bed. Jihyo awakes to the scent of waffles and bacon. She sits up to find a tray in front of her. When she looks around the room, only Nayeon is in it, Hyemi having run off with the other kids. 

“Why did you do this for me?” Jihyo sleepily asks. “You didn’t have to.”

“It’s a thank you, for helping Hyemi last night.” Nayeon nodded.

“Thank you huh?” Jihyo asked. 

“Your at eight.” Nayeon smirked. “My turn Park, why do you work so much? You have enough money.”

“Well, I don’t really have anything else to do.” Jihyo answered. “My only friend is Mina, and she’s busy enough with her family.”

“That’s sad.” Nayeon sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, I’m used to it.” Jihyo sat up. “Thank you for the food.”

“It’s nothing.” Nayeon nodded. “Question seven, when was the last time you took a day off, a real day off where you party and go to clubs and stuff?”

“Not since I was nineteen.” Jihyo answered. “What about you?”

“Not since I found out I was pregnant.” Nayeon shrugged. 

“Do you want to go? Tonight, together.” Jihyo asked. 

“Why not?” Nayeon sighed. “Where?”

“I know a few places.” Jihyo shrugged. “Your only at nine, I’m at ten.”

“Okay, how well do you handle your liquor?” Nayeon asked. 

“Pretty well, you?”

“Badly.” Nayeon shrugged. “But it’s fine, I have the almighty Park Jihyo with me right?"

“Right.” Jihyo smirked. “I have some work to do, see you later.”

“I’m hanging out with your sister today, we’re taking the kids to the beach.” Nayeon nodded. “Bye.”

“Bye.” Jihyo nodded, opening her laptop. 

 

xx

 

Nayeon puts Hyemi to bed before getting ready to go out, Jihyo talking with Jeongyeon. Nayeon looks over her closet, she hadn’t done this in so long, but Sana had always encouraged her to go clubbing and wear her skimpiest clothing. Nayeon looked it over, it was nice, but modest. Considering she had a child with her she hadn’t boughten anything too scandalous. She find a black dress, figuring it was the most appropriate for clubbing outfit she was going to find. Jihyo finds her in the room, wearing a white blouse and black skirt.

“Ready to go?” Jihyo asked, holding her arm out for Nayeon. 

“That’s twelve.” Nayeon answered. “Let me go put on some more makeup.”

“Okay,” Jihyo sat on the bed, her hands folded on her lap. Nayeon did her makeup quickly. 

“Where are we going?” Nayeon asked once she was finished. 

“Just a club downtown, you won’t know it, but it will be fun.” Jihyo reassured. “My mom already offered to pay the bill, she actually already paid an open tab for us, so don’t be afraid to go crazy. Fore warning though she expects us to have sex.”

“Gross.” Nayeon laughed. “You driving?”

“Yup, number thirteen.” Jihyo nodded, holding her arm out for Nayeon on the walk to the car. They silently went on their way, Jihyo freezing when the passed the entrance to the living room, her brother loudly talking to their family. 

“Why does he bother you so much?” Nayeon asked. 

“He’s so fake, he lies and cheats but he’s the golden boy. I try so hard, yet for some reason he’s better than me. He always been better than me. Dahyun doesn’t care, she never has, but it’s so hard for me not to care.” Jihyo sighed. “Doesn’t everyone have someone like that in their lives? Someone they hate and bothers them more than anything?"

“Yeah, that’s my sister. Similar situation, except the minute I told my parents I was pregnant, it was like I was instantly the failure. They assumed since I was having a baby I wasn’t going to amount to anything but my child. Their right, I dropped out of college for Hyemi, but now I have to deal with them constantly praising my sister.” Nayeon rolled her eyes. “I didn’t know perfect people had someone like that too.”

“I’m not perfect,” Jihyo blushed. “Anyway, lets go, my mom is giving me the eye.” Jihyo gently tugged Nayeon, Nayeon following. They stayed silent the rest of the way to the club. Once they got there they ordered their first round of drinks, which quickly became two, then quickly became three. Nayeon was defiantly tipsy, borderline drunk. 

“Ask me another question.” Jihyo demanded. 

“Okay Park, what do you look for in a lady?” Nayeon barely had control over her mouth at this point.

“I like women who are strong, self assured, maybe a little stubborn.” Jihyo shurgged. 

“I like bossy girls, bossy boys too, but I won’t let them top me. I’m the top.” Nayeon slurred her words. “Hey Park, would you ever date someone like me?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Jihyo asked. 

“A commoner like me?” Nayeon asked. 

“Of course.” Jihyo answered, knocking back another shot. “We’re both at sixteen.”

“Cool,” Nayeon took another shot too, to keep up, feeling the alcohol hit her hard and fast. “Want to dance?” Jihyo nooded, taking one last shot before taking Nayeon’s hand. Nayeon downed another shot too, leading Jihyo to the dance floor. There, Nayeon took the lead, the alcohol clouding her judgement. There were so many people, it’s not Nayeon’s fault she had to be so close. It’s also not Nayeon’s fault someone bumped them into each other, causing them to start grinding on each other. Somehow another drink makes it’s way to Nayeon’s mouth, and suddenly her judgement is clouded. And suddenly, she’s pulling Jihyo into a hug. Suddenly her arms are around Jihyo’s neck. And suddenly, beneath the loud thumping of the music, Nayeon reaches a decision. She decides to kiss Jihyo. 

Suddenly, her lips are on Jihyo’s. 

 

xx

 

The next morning, Nayeon wakes up with a thumping headache. She sits up, groaning when she felt freezing.

“Good morning.” Nayeon heard Jihyo’s voice. She groaned and opened her eyes, seeing Jihyo standing over her. “I brought you some water and an aspirin. I’m taking Hyemi to the park, get dressed if you want breakfast.” 

“Get dressed?” Nayeon asked, her mind slowly coming back to clarity.  Nayeon internally screamed. She was naked, in front of Jihyo. 

“That was eighteen Nayeon.” Jihyo smiled. Nayeon groaned, pulling the covers over her head. “I’ll give you some time.” Nayeon nodded meekly, hearing Jihyo walk away. Nayeon screamed into a pillow once she was sure Jihyo was gone. 

 

xx

 

“Do you regret it?” Jihyo asks her at dinner, Nayeon feels better now, in a lot more clear of a mindset. 

“I-I,” Nayeon sighed. She had thought about it a lot, as she regained memories of the night before. Jihyo was so chivalrous, so kind, and so cute in bed. She realized she was developing a small crush on the younger woman. Just a tiny one. She was so sweet and nice and charming and she got along with Hyemi so weel and she treated Nayeon so well. But she was terrified. She hadn’t dated since Hyemi’s father. It had been so long. And it didn’t end so well with him. “No.” Nayeon answered honestly.

“Good, I didn’t either.” Jihyo nodded. “Want to come with us to the beach tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” Nayeon sighed. “Your at eighteen too I think.”

“I am, two more for each of us.” Jihyo answered.

The rest of the dinner went silently. That night, laying next to Jihyo was a lot harder than it was before. Nayeon couldn’t stop falling for the short woman beside her. 

 

xx

 

The next day at the beach, the kids play in the water with Dahyun and her wife Chaeyoung, who Nayeon finally got to meet. Her and Jihyo stayed on the beach, watching from under an umbrella.

“Popsicle?” Nayeon asked, breaking a bright but Popsicle in half.

“Thanks, you only have one question left you know?” Jihyo giggled.

“I’m aware, you do too now.” Nayeon nodded, giggling silently. “This is almost over.” Nayeon sighed, looking over the beach. “We’re leaving tomorrow.”

“I know,” Jihyo sighed, taking a bite out of the popsicle. “Thanks for coming, and dealing with my hate for my brother.”

“Of course, I get it,” Nayeon finished her half of the popsicle, watching her daughter play in the waves with her new friends. “I hope you’ll let Hyemi see your nieces and nephews again.” 

“I will.” Jihyo nodded. “I’ll leave you my contact info, for Hyemi of course.”

“Oh of course, for Hyemi,” Nayeon laughed, noting Jihyo had finished hers too. “Only for Hyemi…”

“Come take a walk with me.” Jihyo suggestion. “That wasn’t a question it was a suggestion.”  

“I know,” Jihyo stood up and held her hand out for Nayeon to pull her to her feet. Jihyo lead her far away from the kids, to a secluded part of the beach covered with a rocky cliff. 

“I’m going to ask you my last question.” Jihyo announced. “And if it makes you uncomfortable, I’m sorry.”

“Okay.” Nayeon nodded. “Go ahead.”

“Im Nayeon,” Jihyo took a deep breath in. “I like you, for real this time, not pretend, will you go on date with me when we get back to Korea?” Nayeon froze, taking a minute to form thought. She couldn’t believe Jihyo liked her too. 

“I like you too but the last time I dated was Hyemi’s father and that didn’t end well and I don’t want that to happen again.” Nayeon ranted. “But I want to say yes.”

“It won’t be like that, I promise.” Jihyo nodded. “Hyemi’s father wronged you, I swear, even if we break up, I won’t do anything to screw you over.”

“You have to swear.” Nayeon held out her pinky. “Sorry, I have an eight year old.”

“It’s okay.” Jihyo laughed and locked her pinky in Nayeon’s. “I swear.”

“Okay, I’ll give it a try, with you,” Nayeon stood up and wrapped her arms around Jihyo. “I’m going to use my last question too.” Nayeon looked into Jihyo’s chocolate brown eyes. “Can I kiss you?” Jihyo answered her with a kiss. 

Nayeon melted into the kiss, tightening her arms around Jihyo. It wasn’t a sudden drunk thing this time. It was real. Nayeon didn’t know how much she missed kissing, or maybe Jihyo was just a really good kisser. But Nayeon felt the moment was perfect. Jihyo’s arms wrapped around her tee shirt covered waist. 

Nayeon smiled, and leaned further into the kiss. Yup, the moment was defiantly perfect.


	7. i can’t wait for spring (sanayeon, part one)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw for vaping and drug use and a bit of dysfunctional family dynamics

They didn’t mean to have five children. The first two came from the excitement of finally starting their family together. They were tiring, but there wasn’t a moment Sana and Nayeon didn’t enjoy taking care of them. Hyemi, the oldest, had been their learning curve. Their first pregnancy, first baby, first time being parents, Hyemi taught them more about parenting then any book they had read in advance. When Hana came around three years later, they were prepared. 

Hana and Hyemi were given different last names even though Sana had given birth to both of them. Sana ran the Korean branch of her father’s technology company, but even her hectic job afforded more flexibility and paid maternity leave than Nayeon’s. Nayeon was once part of the biggest girl group in Korea, retiring after she married Sana to acting. Nayeon loved being in front of a camera, and they were all too painfully aware of how hard it would be to go back to the spotlight after a pregnancy. Sana didn’t mind, Nayeon was the famous one in their relationship. Though Sana had gained quite a bit of ground in the media as being a rich female CEO and ex model, she knew Nayeon would always be the center of attention. She never minded it, she loved how brightly Nayeon shone under the camera. Hyemi had been given Nayeon’s last name, per Sana’s request, but Hana had gotten Sana’s, Nayeon had been insistent. 

They knew they both wanted a large family, so after Hana was old enough they decided they wanted a third. They had planned to have three. However, when Sana went to her first check up after finding out she was pregnant for the third time, she was told they were having twins. Nayeon screamed in excitement the moment they found out, and Sana had cried happy tears. Im Hotaru and Minatozaki Saki were born not much later. 

After four, they were done. They had told everyone that, the media, their friends, their family. They were done. But, when Hotaru started asking for a baby sibling obsessively, citing Saki wasn’t fun enough to play with, Nayeon had started to consider it, just a bit. She hadn’t brought it up though, waiting for Sana to bring it up. Sana’s body had never quite recovered after the twins, and it was her body after all. Nayeon had held strong in her position that Sana was the most beautiful woman and baby Mommy ever, but Sana had never been able to quite get the pre-kids body she once had back. Thankfully, Sana brought it up. They were dropping the twins off at Tzuyu’s house for a playdate when Momo had brought out their new born daughter, who had just awaken from a nap. She had asked Sana to hold her while she finished making lunch and Tzuyu watched the children, and Sana had realized how much she missed holding a baby. She asked Nayeon her opinion on the way home. Not too long after, Minatozaki Nico was born. She was an impulsive decision, and not a very thought out addition to the family, but at least it made the kids shut up about getting another dog. Saki was allergic anyway, Sir Barks A Lot (Hyemi had named him when she was four) was already enough to set Saki off and he was supposed to be hypoallergenic. With a new baby, there was no way the kids were getting a new animal. Sana had gone back to work not long after having Nico, she was the first time they hired a full time nanny for any of their kids, the others had gone to preschool. She only got a nanny because Nayeon and Sana felt bad for leaving her at a younger age then the others, and she had a tendency to get sick quite frequently. 

If you asked Sana and Nayeon, they would tell you the didn’t play favorites, if you asked the kids, depending on which one you asked, they would say otherwise. Hotaru would tell you their parents loved them all equally, every other girl would tell you Hotaru was the favorite. But it was to be expected, with five kids, girls no less, it was just human nature Sana and Nayeon played favorites. Hana would tell you after Hotaru being the favorite there was no order, the other three knew the true hierarchy in the their parents hearts. Hotaru first, Hyemi second, Hana third, and Nico and Saki tied for last. Nico and Saki exhausted their parents, even they knew it. Hyemi was the oldest, but she had chosen to detach herself from the family in her teenage years, which took her out of the first spot. Hotaru’s personality just made her the favorite. 

Sana and Nayeon knew only the more overarching things about their kids. They loved them, and tried their best, but it was really hard to keep up with all five. They didn’t know about the little fights, deals, and secrets that went on between the girls. Mainly Hyemi, Saki, and Nico. They didn’t know about the fact that most nights Hyemi would sneak out of Nico and Saki’s window onto the roof and down the side of the house. They didn’t know the fact Hyemi would bring their youngest kids back unhealthy food as bribery to keep quiet. They didn’t know about the time Hana nearly had a panic attack in the school bathroom because of her gender confusion. They don’t know about how Saki can barely stand being around her sister any longer. They only know that Hyemi gets good grades and is a good baby sitter. They only know that Hana is a healthy thirteen year old girl. They only know that the twins love each other. 

They try their best, Sana gives each of the girls kisses each morning before leaving and Nayeon brings the girls on set if she’s working with an actor or actress they like, or like the time she brought Nico because she realized she hadn’t hung out with her youngest daughter since she was a baby. Nico had been bored, she played games on her DS the whole time, but whenever Nayeon hissed at her to stop she would get cooed at by Nayeon’s coworkers before going back to her game. Nayeon had gotten Nico in trouble later, for spending too much time playing games when she told her not to, but Sana pointed out she was probably just bored, she was five and while she was comfortable around adults, she couldn’t be expected to entertain herself surrounded by adults. Sana and Nayeon love their girls, and only want the absolute best for them. But there was only two of them. And five kids. 

xx

“Come here, the girls are all asleep and I wanna cuddle,” Sana smiled at her wife, who was pouting while picking various stuffed toys and nail polish bottles spread across their large living room.

“Remind me why the maids only come twice a week?” Nayeon asked, sitting next to Sana on the couch and letting herself be wrapped up in a huge hug. Nayeon rested her hand on Sana’s chest. Sana was always the softest. Nayeon loved laying against her wife. 

“Because our kids are supposed to learn to clean up after themselves.” Sana whispered. 

“But they haven’t.” Nayeon nodded. 

“Hyemi is our oldest, we spoil her too much. Nico is the baby so obviously neither of us can get mad at her, and Saki doesn’t listen to us. Hana and Taru are the only two who have learned their lesson.” Sana smiled and started pampering kisses to Nayeon’s crown. 

“We should be more strict with them.” Nayeon muttered.

“Do you want to?” Sana asked, amused that Nayeon thought she could get mad at their kids. 

“Well, no.” Nayeon nodded. “I meant you do it, your the one who always deals with Saki when she gets in trouble.” 

“Mainly because it happens at least once a year.” Sana nodded. 

“We need to do something about her, I’m getting worried. I thought she would grow out of her trouble making but she’s ten. She should learn from Taru.” Nayeon muttered, shifting closer to Sana so her wife could spoil her just a bit more. 

“Saki’s just figuring things out.” Sana nodded. “I am worried with how much she influences Nico.” 

“Nico’s always been like a second Saki, always causing trouble and leaving messes.” 

“Sounds like someone else I know.” Sana smiled at her wife. 

“Hey they don’t get it from me.” Nayeon defended. 

“You sure about that?” Sana smirked. 

“Let’s go over schedules for the week.” Nayeon changed the subject. “I have a shooting until Wednesday in Busan.” 

“Hana has softball practice on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday after school then robotics on Tuesday but she will get herself home, Hyemi will too. Taru has soccer practice on the normal days, but I’ll take her like normal, and the youngest two have skating every day, and the driver will take them home. Saki and Nico have extra lesson early in the morning on Tuesday and Thursday, and they have a competition on Saturday, but I’m going to ask Mina to take them to their competition because Hana has a softball game on Saturday and right after Taru has a soccer game so we’ll be busy.” Sana listed. 

“Are we sure we should skip the youngest two, again?” 

“We went to their last competition, and this may make me sound like a bad mom but considering the fact I take them to every practice and sit through all of them even the ones at six in the morning I’m kind of tired of listening to their music over and over again.” Sana sighed. “Plus they have another competition not long after.” 

“Fair, I’m sure Hyemi will pull that whole I have too much homework excuse so I probably won’t get to see her all that much this week too.” Nayeon sighed. “We need to pull that girl out of her room every once and a while, we’re loosing her to college soon.” 

“Your just emotional because she’s our first.” Sana giggled. 

“Damn right I am,” Nayeon muttered. “Your such a good mom Sana.” 

“Am I? I just justified not going to our daughters’ ice skating competition.”

“You know all the kids schedules off the top of your head.” Nayeon nodded. “I could never.”

“It’s on your calendar too babe,” Sana continued pressing kisses to Nayeon’s head. 

“Oh yeah I know, but I don’t have it memorized.” Nayeon giggled. “How’s work?”

“It’s work baby of course it sucks.” Sana said. 

“My work doesn’t suck,” Nayeon nodded.

“Well your lucky.” Sana muttered. “Turn over I want more kisses.” Nayeon nodded and happily turned in Sana’s embrace, pinning the woman under her and kissing her lips. 

“Is this enough?” Nayeon asked with a smirk.

“No,” Sana muttered. “More please.”

“Gladly baby.” Nayeon could never get over kissing Sana. It was so soft. Even if they had been married for seventeen years, her love for Sana had never faded. Sana was her soulmate. They were made to love each other. Nayeon couldn’t imagine a world without Sana. Sana couldn’t imagine a world without Nayeon. Their kisses were always perfect too, Nayeon thought Sana’s lips were too soft, and Sana’s Prada perfume was too perfect, and Sana herself was too perfect. Sana thought the same of Nayeon, she loved her fashion sense and lipstick collection and Nayeon herself.They could spend days just talking about the other. 

Sana and Nayeon had perfect lives, albeit a little chaotic. Five perfect healthy children and the perfect love. Nothing could go wrong. Right?

xx

Nayeon leaves for Busan the next morning. Sana has a meeting until late and leaves the girls alone with Hyemi as the assigned baby sitter and money for pizza. Mina took Saki and Nico home from ice skating, so the driver could take a day off, along with her own daughter, the three having fun singing karaoke in the car. Besides each other, Yujin was their best friend. Mina and Sana found it cute they were best friends and now their daughters were. 

They get home last, Hyemi locking them out of the house as a prank. The two just crawled in through the dog door, barking obnoxiously like puppies and mimicking their old dog. Hana and Hotaru had gotten home before them and had already finished their homework. Not long after the two kids crawled in through the dog door, Hyemi left through the front door. 

Hana watched her older sister leave. Hyemi was so damn irresponsible. 

xx

“Shouldn’t you be watching your sisters?” Hyemi rolled her eyes and took a long drag of her vape pen. Mango flavored. Huh. 

“Twerps can watch themselves.” Hyemi responded, watching the smoke disperse in the dark air. 

“Your parents would be real proud of you, huh?” Her companion asked. 

“Trust me, I’m the disappointment.” Hyemi rolled her eyes, looking at the dried paint on her hands. 

“The oldest is never the disappointment.” 

“Welcome to my life.” Hyemi answered. “I should get home before my mom does.” 

“Bye Hyemi, same time next week?” Hyemi smiled at her friend. 

“Bring me a new flavor next time, mango isn’t a great flavor for smoking.” Hyemi tucked her vape pen into her pocket. It wasn’t a long trip home, but the cold December air was making things all the more miserable. Funny, her parents were as wealthy as wealthy can be and here she was taking the bus home. Maybe her moms would be proud of her, for not flashing their money like some people would. Maybe they would be disappointed, they had a million other reasons to be. Hyemi didn’t really want to think about it. 

Truthfully speaking, she didn’t really care either way. 

xx

“Hotaru go away.” Saki complained as her twin sat next to her. “I’m not talking to you.” 

“Grow up Saki,” Hotaru rolled her eyes. “Your being immature again.”

“Your being immature you butt face.” Saki turned away.

“I’m trying to make up with you before mom and mama get home so we don’t get in trouble.” Hotaru sighed. 

“You mean so I don’t get in trouble?” Saki rolled her eyes. 

“Saki stop,” Hana butt in from her position on the floor next to Nico. The two of them were sprawled out in front of Hana’s laptop, child robot sets parts surrounding them. Nico was playing with the lego robots she had gotten from her Aunt Jeongyeon for Christmas, Hana being the one to program them. 

“Stop what?”

“Just stop.” Hana warned.

“Why does every one here hate me?” Saki complained. 

“We don’t hate you,” Hotaru rolled her eyes. “Stop being difficult and talk to me.” 

“No.” Saki scooted away from her sister on the couch. 

“Fine then.” Hotaru turned away. 

“You not going to get in trouble anyway, there’s no point.” Saki muttered before stomping up the stairs. Hotaru sighed, before looking to complain with the other two in the room, only to find their attention completely on the computer screen in front of them. The only noise in the room was the sound of Hana’s fingers on the keyboard and the occasional frustrated sigh from Nico. Hotaru hated it. 

xx

“Saki fought with Hotaru, again.” Hana reports to Hyemi as she comes back in. 

“And? They are sisters, we fought all the time.” Hyemi rolled her eyes.

“But-”

“No one got hurt right?”

“Well no-”

“Thanks, great job watching them Hana, here’s twenty bucks,” Hyemi dropped the money on the table. 

“Gee thanks,” Hana sighed. “Where were you?” 

“Mind your own business loser.” Hyemi rolled her eyes.

“Your such a bully.” Hana protested. 

“Yup,” Hana nodded as she went upstairs. “Are the monsters in bed?”

“Hotaru is.” Hana called, Hyemi halfway up the stairs. 

“Where’s Nico?”

“Probably with Saki in the movie room, their probably watching Moana or something!” Hana answered. Hyemi nodded and left her sister alone. She found Nico and Saki in their large movie room, the projector on and Sailor Moon projecting onto the screen. 

“Bedtime monsters.” Hyemi told the two. 

“Can we finish this episode?” Saki asked, Nico and her curled together in a leather reclining chair. 

“As long as you explain to mom why your still up.” Hyemi shrugged. 

“Sure.” Saki nodded. 

“Then watch as many episodes as you want.” Hyemi nodded. “But don’t touch the popcorn machine or mom will kill me."

“Okay.” Nico answered. “Night Night Hyemi Unnie.”

“Good night kiddo.” Hyemi nodded to her youngest sister. “Night brat.” She turned to Saki.

“If anyone is a brat it’s Hotaru.” Saki defended. 

“Your right, and Hana’s nickname is loser, so I suppose I’ll call you monster.” Hyemi smiled. 

“Much better,” Saki nodded. “Night devil Unnie.” 

“Oh, nice nickname.” Hyemi nodded. “Your catching on monster.” Saki giggled. 

“Isn’t monsters mean?” Nico asked Saki once Hyemi left the room. 

“Hyemi Unnie means it affectionately. Like a nice insult.” Saki explained. “It means she loves us.” 

“But kiddo is good.” Nico argued. 

“It’s cause she has a soft spot for you because your really cute.” Saki giggled. 

“I’m not.” Nico whined, the six year old scooting away from her sister.

“Sure your not,” Saki answered unconvinced. “Your like a little kitten.”

“I’m not,” Nico whined once again. 

“It’s a compliment Nico.” Saki laughed. 

“But I’m not a kitten.” Nico protested. 

“Your are kitten,” Saki answered. “Back to the show?”

“Yes please.” Nico answered with a smile, fishing her light pink baby water bottle with little elephants printed on it, tangling her limbs with Saki once she was settled. 

xx

“Girls?” Sana called as she came inside. Hyemi was on the couch, laying down with a blanket on her lap. 

“Hey mom.” Hyemi smiled at Sana. 

“Hello sweetheart,” Sana smiled and walked over to Hyemi to place a kiss on her forehead. “Are your sisters in bed?”

“They should be.” Hyemi nodded, pausing the tv. 

“Were they good?” Sana asked.

“Saki and Taru fought again, but other that that, fine.” Hyemi shrugged. “When does Mama get home again?” 

“Wednesday.” Sana answered giving Hyemi one more kiss on the forehead. “I’m exhausted, I’ll go check in on your sisters then go to bed, don’t stay up too late okay beautiful?” 

“Good night mom,” Hyemi giggled. 

“Give me a kiss back,” Sana smirked. “Come on, for your dear old mom?” Sana teased her daughter. 

“Your not old,” Hyemi protested, kissing Sana’s cheek shyly. 

“Thank you for saying that Hye,” Sana giggled. “I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“Yeah see you,” Hyemi resumed her tv show as Sana went back up the stairs. Hana and Hotaru are fast asleep, but when she checks on Saki and Nico she finds neither of her youngest in bed. Sana rolled her eyes and went to the movie room. She found the girls curled together watching Sailor Moon, it was adorable. 

“Girls.” Saki cleared her throat. “Bedtime.” 

“Oh mommy,” Nico stood up in the leather recliner and turned to her mom. “Hi mommy,” Nico giggled, Sana rushing over to the chair before Nico could climb out and hurt herself. 

“Hi baby,” Sana smiled and picked up her youngest. Nico was always tiny, she was an underweight baby. Even as a six year old she weighed practically nothing, and even Sana could very easily hold her. Nayeon had a lot of strength hidden under her clothes, so she could still throw Nico around and take Saki, Hotaru, Hana, or even Hyemi if they fell on the couch. “Sleepytime.” 

“I don’t wanna sleep.” 

“Yes you do Nico.” Sana nodded. 

“Nu-uh.” Nico protested, only to yawn. 

“Come on, your going to bed.” Sana nodded. “Saki you come too.” Saki nodded and turned the media system off. Sana carried Nico to bed as Saki followed behind, waiting for the lecture she was going to get. Sana settles Nico into her bed, kissing her forehead and promising her a story tomorrow night before turning to Saki. “Can we talk in the hall for a bit Saki?” Saki nodded, looking back at Nico. They had enough rooms that they didn’t have to share, but they loved sharing a room. People liked to come they were more twin like than Saki was with her real twin Hotaru. When Saki and Nico were younger, Nico around two and Saki around six, they refused to be separated at night. They would both cry and cry, until Sana and Nayeon broke down and put them in the same room. “You fought with Hotaru again.” Sana confronted once they were outside. 

“She started it.” Saki pouted. 

“Minatozaki Saki.”

“I”m just saying.” Saki shrugged. “She took my blanket, mine the one grandmother bought me for Christmas and said it was hers and I had stolen it from her, it’s mine mom I swear, why would grandmother get Hotaru something purple when Hotaru is so clearly yellow. We label everything here by colors, my stuff is purple Hotaru’s is yellow.” Saki pouted. “It’s mine mom I swear, she steals my clothes for herself all the time too.” Saki whined.

“Saki those are for you two to share.” Sana protested. 

“Oh so you’ll buy Taru her own stuff but everything you buy for me I have to share.” Saki muttered. 

“We don’t buy Taru her own stuff.” Sana nodded. 

“You do! Her entire room is filled with stuff you or mama bought for her and only her. She would flip if I stole her stuff but she steals mine all the time.” Saki protested. 

“We buy you guys stuff to share and I know Taru shares stuff with you I have seen it, you two are twins, your supposed to share everything. If you have a problem with that young lady then you can start writing your name on your stuff.”

“Your never this strict on Taru! This is so unfair!” Saki protested, slamming the door behind her.

“Saki come back sweetie!” Sana knocked on the door, reaching down to open it, only to find it locked. 

“Go away mom.” Saki sniffled. Sana looked at the door and sighed, Saki was off on a mood swing again. She sighed before retiring to her own bedroom. Her bed felt empty without Nayeon, but she was used to it. Ever since they were dating there was about a fifty percent chance of Nayeon being home on a given night, maybe less. Sana’s pregnancies were obviously the exception. But Sana would always miss her. It was always the hardest part. Sana had to take Benadryl to fall asleep on the hardest nights. 

Sana sighed as she started to succumb to sleep. Her goodnight I love you text was already sent to her busy wife. The doors were all locked and the dog had food and water. Sana was ready to go to bed, until she felt a small lump on top of her. 

“Mommy, mommy bad dream.” Nico shook Sana from her half awake state. 

“Fine, come here.” Sana nodded and cuddled Nico close in her arms. “Go to sleep now.” 

“But mommy I’m scared-”

“It’s okay Nico, mommy’s tired please go to bed.” Sana requested. Nico nodded and cuddled into her stuffed white tiger, Sana smiled when Nico fell asleep. Sana was so exhausted, she didn’t realized how much Nico was tossing and turning in her embrace. 

xx

“Nico honey don’t sleep on the couch, it’s dinner time,” Sana lightly scolded.

“Mommy,” Nico whined as she put her face up. “I’m sleepy.”

“You can go to bed after you finish your dinner and you take a bath.” Sana nodded. Nico wrapped her favorite pink star patterned blanket around her shoulders and ran over to the dinner table, the large blanket dragging behind her. Hyemi rolled her eyes at her sister. “Honey your going to trip,” Sana sighed as Nico got to the table. 

“Saki stop,” Sana scolded as Saki flicked a pea towards her sister. Hotaru glared at her sister. 

“Mom told you to stop Saki,” Hotaru reminded as Saki was about to flick another pea towards her. 

“Fine,” Saki rolled her eyes. 

“Thank you Hotaru,” Sana smiled towards her daughter. “How was your day sweetheart?”

“It was great mom, I finished that sketch I was drawing of a monkey, and I scored six goals today at practice too. And I’m almost done with my science fair project.” Hotaru reported.

“That’s great honey,” Sana smiled at Hotaru. “Do you need anymore help?”

“If you have time I need help with glueing.” Hotaru smiled back at her mom. 

“Of course I have time for you sweetheart.” Sana answered, not nothing the way Saki rolled her eyes before taking a sip of water. “Hana what about you?” Sana turned to the quiet thirteen year old. 

“Oh uh, I had a test today in English.” Hana shrugged. “It went okay,” Hana nodded. 

“Tired?” Sana asked. 

“A little.” Hana answered. 

“Why don’t you go to sleep honey? Or do your homework then go to bed?” Sana offered. 

“Oh yeah, thanks mom, tell Mama I miss her.” Hana got out of her chair and went towards the large kitchen. 

“I wanna go to bed.” Nico whined. 

“Finish your food first then take a bath.” Sana nodded. 

“Fine.” Nico pouted and went back to her food, eating it slowly with a pout. 

“Mom can I be excused?” Hyemi asked. 

“After you tell me how your day was beautiful.” Sana smiled ahh her daughter. 

“It was fine.” Hyemi shrugged. “Can I go now.” 

“Sure sweetheart,” Sana nodded. “Once you three are done we’re going to call your Mama okay?” Hotaru nodded eagerly while Nico and Saki both pouted. 

“Mom is biased.” Saki whispered to Nico. 

“What’s that?” Nico whispered. 

“Mom loves the Hotaru more.” Saki answered. 

“She does.” Nico nodded. 

Once they are done, Sana tells Saki and Hotaru that it’s their turn to do the dishes. Sana takes Nico to the other room and puts Nico on her lap as she calls Nayeon. 

“I want to go talk to Mama,” Hotaru told her twin. 

“You only washed one dish.” Saki argued. 

“I’ll do them all next time.” 

“Sure you will Hotaru.” Saki answered. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Saki knew if she mentioned the fact Hotaru always found a way to get out of dishes by playing the favorites card. When Saki tried to point it out, Hotaru would just get mad at her and Saki would end up in trouble. Saki would rather not be with her sister anyway, so Hotaru leaving maybe was for the best. 

“Nothing, go.” Saki groaned. 

“Thanks Saki, thanks for getting over yesterday.” Hotaru smiled at her sister. Saki had never gotten over yesterday, but if it meant she wasn’t in trouble, she didn’t mind pretending. 

xx

When Nayeon comes back, she senses something off with Nico. She doesn’t know what it is but her youngest seemed so reserved. Nico was a child, she had energy and normally she would jump around and exhaust Sana and Nayeon as much as she could. But Nico seemed, off. 

“Did you tell the girls we’re missing their skating competition?” Nayeon asked as she climbs into her and Sana’s soft bed. 

“No I didn’t tell them, I asked Mina though and she said it was fine.” Sana muttered, rolling towards Nayeon. “I was waiting until you got back,” Sana smiled and pecked Nayeon’s cheek. “How was Busan?”

“It was okay, I missed you in my arms,” Nayeon smirked at her lover. 

“Seventeen years later and your still cheesy as hell.” Sana nodded. 

“If you count the time we were dating it would be twenty babe.” Nayeon giggled.

“Life has gone by so fast with you.” Sana whispered, letting Nayeon spoon her. 

“Life goes by faster when your having fun.” Nayeon whispered. “Every moment with you is fun.” 

“I love you,” Sana muttered, looking deeply into Nayeon’s eyes. 

“I love you too.” They intertwined their fingers, their rings touching. They both giggled before pulling each other into a long love fueled kiss. 

xx

Nayeon yawned and took a sip of her coffee. It was too early in the morning to be awake. 

“Mama help me.” Nayeon groaned as she put her coffee next to her daughter on the bench. She sat on the floor and looked at the loosened laces on her daughters white skates. 

“Mama I’m going to go.” Saki informed. 

“Do you have your knee pads on?” Nayeon turned to Saki. 

“Yup.” Saki pointed to the purple bike knee pads. 

“Go ahead, take your guards off.” Saki nodded and went over to the skate counter, taking her purple and white skate guards off and putting them on the counter. Nayeon turned back to Nico, who was sipping apple juice quietly. Nayeon tightened her skates, pulling the laces tight against Nico’s foot. Once the bottom part was tight and it was laced up, Nayeon looked at Nico then the left skate. “Nico tie your skate for me please.”

“Mama I can’t.” Nico nodded. 

“Yes you can.”

“I can’t.” 

“Well then I’ll show you how but you have to do the other one.” Nayeon instructed Nico on the left foot, partially lacking the right one. “Okay, do it for Mama.”

“I can’t.” Nico muttered. 

“You want to be a big girl right? Then tie your skate please sweetie.” Nayeon asked. Nico nodded, trying to tie the shoe. Halfway through Nico’s tears started to drop as she frustratingly tried to tie her shoe. “Nico stop crying,” Nayeon sighed, taking over the lace and finishing tying it for her. “I’ve seen you tie your shoes before honey.” Nayeon tried to calm Nico down. 

“Skates are hard.” Nico nodded. “Mommy always does them for me.”

“I know she does, but your a big girl now, your in first grade sweetie.” Nayeon muttered, trying not to let her exhaustion control her.

“But-But-” Nico sobbed and Nayeon pulled Nico close to calm her down. 

“Stop crying honey.” Nayeon sighed. “It was just skate tying it’s okay.” 

“Yeah.” Nico wiped her tears. “Okay.” Nico rubbed her wet hands on her tights before slipping her pink gloves on. 

“Bye sweetie.” Nico didn’t answered Nayeon as she went out into the ice with her instructor. Nayeon took another sip of coffee, she was so tired. 

Nayeon watches the girls skate, pride in her heart. Saki had gotten into skating as a two year old. The tv had been on while her and Jun, Tzuyu and Momo’s son, were playing together when the world championships had come onto the tv, Saki pointing at the tv and screaming happily while a girl was preforming. She had cereal stuck to her face, but she looked so happy at the girl on the screen. Sana and Nayeon decided to put her in lessons not long after. Nico grew up going with Sana to Saki’s lessons, first in her stomach then later as a baby. Nico loved every second of it. She would always follow Saki, it only made sense she wanted to take skating too. 

They both enjoyed it immensely. Hyemi hadn’t liked sports when she was little, but they would have her try things, just to try them. Hana had attached herself to softball at the age of six, and Hotaru found soccer. Nayeon and Sana weren’t athletic but they were happy their kids found sports they liked. 

Nico was so cute, Nayeon always thought that about her youngest. Especially as she was practicing her routine, a little green ribbon tied around her waist. Saki was determined, skating always spent Saki’s energy. Nayeon loved Nico and Saki’s love for skating, but she was so tired, even after the coffee. After the girls were done Nayeon untied Nico’s skates and Nico wiped them down herself, chasing into her school uniform after, all on her own. Nayeon takes them to the car and drives them to school, Nico and Saki playing in the backseat. 

“Mama can we get muffins?” Saki asked on the way.

“You two already had eggs.” Nayeon nodded.

“But we want muffins.” Saki argued. 

“Girls,” Nayeon sighed, driving past the muffin place. “Another day.” 

“Fine,” Saki pouted. Nico nodded, going back to playing with Saki. 

xx  
After school Sana takes Nico and Saki to Hotaru’s soccer practice. She didn’t have time to take them home, so she got them snacks and took them to Hotaru’s soccer practice. “Thanks for coming mom!” Hotaru smiled at her mother. 

“Of course sweetie,” Sana smiled at her daughter. Hotaru grinned and ran back to the practice, kicking the ball around, taking her position as forward. Hotaru loved soccer as much as Saki liked skating. 

“Girls, you know how you have a skating competition on Saturday?” Sana finally decided to tell the girls.

“Yeah?” Saki asked. 

“Your mama and I, well we can’t come.” Sana told them. 

“Oh, okay.” Saki answered passively. 

“You two aren’t upset?” Sana asked them. 

“No.” Nico answered, going back to picking at the grass from her spot on the ground. 

“Okay…” She had had to do tell them they couldn’t come before, but it was never easy. They missed Hotaru’s third soccer game due to a doctors appointment for Nico, and they had to make it up to her by buying her quite a bit of ice cream and lots of kisses. They had missed a recital of Hyemi’s for a softball game of Hana’s. They had missed countless ice skating competitions. It was the easiest to miss ice skating, Mina and Dahyun would always be there for their daughter to take Saki and Nico home. There were only two of them, and they would split often but it was never enough for all of the kids. It would never be.


	8. i can't wait for spring (sanayeon, part two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw: alcohol, smoking, drugs, gender questioning, cursing

“Hana?” Sana knocked on her daughter’s door. Sana nodded and opened the door, finding Hana not in her room. Sana shrugged and began collecting the dirty laundry on the teenagers floor. The clothes were thrown haphazardly all over the floor, the girl had a bad habit of not putting her laundry in the hamper. There were a few tee shirts, a pairs of pants, and underwear. Sana picked up a white thing she assumed to be a bra mindlessly. However, she took a second look, it was too small to be Hana’s. She was the one who took her daughter bra shopping, though Hana wasn’t particularly well endowed, she was average. Sana inspected the thing further.

“Mom?” 

Sana realized the thing she was holding was a binder.

“Hana?” Sana turned to her daughter, finding Hana standing in her bedroom doorway with wide eyes. Tears filled Hana’s eyes as she turned to run away.

“Hana sweetheart wait!” Sana screamed. “Come here baby.” Hana walked slowly, she looked like she was about to be executed. “Hana, honey I’m not angry at you,” Sana tried to comfort.

“Your not?” Hana asked with wide eyes. 

“No honey, of course not.” Sana nodded. “I should have had a talk with you earlier, we had one with your sister.” Sana sighed. “Baby, gender can be a complicated thing, if you don’t feel like a girl honey, you don’t have to be one. Your Mama and I have no expectations for you to be female. Do you feel more comfortable as a boy?”

“Well, to be honest mom, I don’t know.” Hana nodded. “I don’t know what I want to be.”

“That’s okay sweetheart, your still young you don’t have to have everything figured out. Do you still feel comfortable with me using she and her pronouns?” Sana asked, rubbing circles on Hana’s back. 

“Uh, yes? Maybe? I’m not sure.”

“It’s okay not to know baby, whatever is more comfortable for you. Whenever your ready, you can tell me what you feel comfortable with and I’ll be happy to accept you, your Mama too, we love you no matter what you are, also I know I gave you the whole gay talk when I gave you the puberty talk, but Hana we’re serious, you can identify whatever way is the most comfortable for you and you can love whoever you want. And if you want to know more about gender and stuff like that I would be happy to research it with you baby.” Hana started crying and hugged Sana tightly.

“Thank you so much Mom.” Hana whispered. 

“Of course Hana.” Sana kissed the side of Hana’s head. “Your Mama and I will always love you.”

“You won’t tell Mama about this, right?”

“If you don’t want me to sweetie, I think you should tell her yourself.” Sana nodded. 

“Thank you mom.” Hana repeated. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Sana kissed Hana’s cheeks.Sana waited until Hana stopped crying to leave her daughter’s room and start her laundry for her, after reminding her daughter not to sleep in a binder and to wash it regularly. Afterwards she put the kids to bed and got ready for bed herself. As she lay in bed, her mind kept going back to Hana. It’s not she didn’t accept her daughter, it was the fact she didn’t even know something was up with Hana. It seemed like something she should have noticed, but she didn’t. She felt like a horrible mom. She felt like she didn’t know Hana, and as she thought about it, she realized she didn’t really know any of her kids besides Hotaru’s problems. 

xx

“Where are your friends Saki?” Saki ignored the person as she continued to play on her DS. Recess was the worst part of the day, it always had been. Hotaru was the popular one, between the two of them she was the one everyone wanted to be friends with, Saki was just Hotaru’s twin. She had friends, Nico and Yujin were her friends, Jun and Miyuki were her friends. She just didn’t have any in her grade. Her Auntie Mina had said that was fine, when her and Yujin were playing together and Saki asked if it was weird her best friend was a grade below her. Saki just didn’t want to be friends with anyone who would rather play with Hotaru than her, that’s all. And everyone in her grade loved her twin. 

“Yeah Saki, where are they?” Saki was used to the taunting. It was okay to have friends that were younger than her. She knew if she got angry she would just be the one to get in trouble. “Oh right, all your friends are little babies.” 

“Can you please go away? I’m busy.” Saki looked up briefly from her game of Mario Kart before looking back down. 

“What? Are you playing with someone? Cause from what I can tell no one here likes you.” Saki didn’t know why those particular words set her off, but they were enough for her to completely loose her temper. She put her game down and stood up.

“I have friends! Older and younger! And they like me! So you know what I’m sorry no one likes you but you don’t have to take it out on me! Jerks!” Saki screamed as loud as she could. Saki cursed when she saw her teacher coming her way. And the tears from the two girls taunting her. 

“Minatozaki Saki,” The teacher scolded. “I heard what you said to these two poor girls, come here your going to the principals office.” Saki rolled her eyes. It wasn’t even worth arguing. No one listened to her anyway. 

“Fine.” Saki grabbed her DS and followed the teacher, sparing one glance at Hotaru, who was staring at her from the play ground. Her sister looked disappointed in her, but that was Hotaru’s problem. 

“Why can’t you be more like Hotaru? I swear it feels like I’m always getting you in trouble Miss Minatozaki.” Saki ignored the teacher entirely. She wasn’t Hotaru. She never would be. People needed to learn that. 

xx

Sana stared out the window as Nayeon drove them to Saki’s school. Nayeon was just angry, Sana was just trying to think of things from Saki’s side. The teacher made it sound like it was all Saki’s fault, like she got angry and screamed at two girls and called them jerks and that she was being a bully, but Sana thought there had to be more. Saki wasn’t the type to get angry over nothing. 

“She’s such a trouble maker,” Nayeon sighed. “I swear we need to do something this time. She’s just going to keep pulling crap like this if we don’t properly punish her.” 

“For once I don’t know if I agree with you,” Sana calmly added. “Think about this from Saki’s side babe. Something probably happened.” Nayeon took a deep breath. “We love her and want whats best for her and maybe a punishment is what’s best for her, but maybe there’s something deeper going on that we need to have a talk with her about.” Sana’s mind went back to the incident with Hana. 

“I guess your right,” Nayeon sighed as they pulled into their daughters school. “Your so smart you know that right?” Nayeon turned to Sana and pecked her cheek. 

“I’ve heard it a few times.” Sana giggled and pecked Nayeon’s cheek back. “I love you.” 

“I love you too."

xx

Saki is waiting for them in the principal’s office, swinging her legs on chair with her gaze directed towards the floor. “Saki.” Saki looks up at Nayeon, no emotion on her face at all. Saki knows it’s not worth it anymore. She just had to keep her head down through her punishment. 

“Saki sweetie,” Sana sighs and sits next to Saki, taking her hand and rubbing circles on it. Saki froze, this was, different. She was so used to these talks with her parents and the principal she had them down as a routine. Sit though her scolding from the principal, then sit through a scolding from her parents, then get through a long punishment. 

“I’m sure Mrs.Kim informed you of what happened today during recess.” The principal started.

“Yes, we’re aware.” Nayeon nodded. 

“Well, normally for this kind of thing we would let the parents handle Saki’s punishment, but this is her third strike this year. The first time was disrupting class, the next was an incident similar to this one. She has a pattern, and I recommend a more extreme punishment before this becomes a habit.”

“What are you suggesting?” Sana asked the principal. 

“A temporary suspension, three days, and I recommend you ask a professional about her, trouble making can be a sign of deep phycological problems. I have a few names from parents who had kids in similar situations, they helped the kids out a lot. Saki is a smart kid, she gets higher test grades than anyone else in her class, but she needs to learn to control her habits.” The principal explained. 

“I believe that’s fair, thank you.” Sana interrupted before Nayeon could argue. “We’ll be on our way now to take Saki home so she can start her punishment with us. Thank you.” 

“Of course, good luck with her.” Sana nodded and took Saki and Nayeon’s hands and took them out into the hallway. 

“What?” Nayeon asked. “It seems a little unfair considering Saki just called people a bad word.” 

“Jerk isn’t a bad word Hyemi Unnie taught it to me.” Saki finally spoke up. 

“Just because Hyemi says it’s not a bad word doesn’t mean it’s not a bad word.” Nayeon groaned. “Why did you do something like this Saki?”

“It doesn’t even matter anyway.” Saki shrugged. “My side isn’t important.” 

“Saki,” Sana bent down to Saki’s level. “Stop.” 

“Stop what?"

“Tell us what happened, from your side okay sweetheart?” Sana asked the girl, holding both of Saki’s hands. 

“Fine. Those girls were being mean to me during recess and were asking me why I didn’t have any friends and said all my friends are babies but Jun is older than me. And Hyemi unnie is older than me. I just don’t have any friends in my class cause they all like Taru more anyway. Anyway they said that no one likes me and that made me upset.” Saki explained. 

“Saki honey,” Sana sighed. “We like you, you know that right?” Sana noticed that Saki tightened her grip on Sana’s hands. 

“I know,” Saki whispered. 

“Hey,” Sana caught Saki’s distant gaze, putting her hand on Saki’s cheek. “I love you baby okay?” 

“Okay mom.” Saki whispered, looking into Sana’s with tears in her own. “I love you too.” 

“Saki your not Hotaru, you know that right?”

“I know mom, that’s the problem,” Saki whispered under her breath. Saki felt terrible and really didn’t want to get into the emotional pain of not being as good as Hotaru, but if her mom wanted to go there, she would. It was so tiring, Saki was so done with being Hotaru’s shadow. Maybe it had to be done in her a hallway of her school’s front office with a poster of a sun with some motivational crap slapped on it staring at her.

“What was that honey?” Sana asked.

“Mommy? Saki?” Saki wiped the tears that were threatening to fall when her younger sister interrupted. 

“Nico? What are you doing here?” Nayeon went over to their other daughter’s side. Nico was out of breath and her face was flushed red with tears running down her cheeks.

“Nurse,” Nico breathed out and pointed to her knees which were scrapped and bloody.

“Does it hurt?” Nayeon asked. Nico nodded and Nayeon leaned down to pick her up. “Come here I’ll take you to the nurse, direct me okay honey?” Nico nodded and Nayeon gave Sana a quick glance to signify to take care of Saki. Sana nodded and turned back to Saki. 

“Do you want to go home to talk about this sweetheart?” Sana asked, Saki nodded.

“Can I go help Nico first? She doesn’t like it when they put the cleaning stuff on.” Saki asked. 

“I think your Mama is handling it.” Sana muttered, hearing a scream from the open horse door . “Let’s go okay honey? Your Mama will meet us in the car.” 

“Okay.” Sana stood up and kept Saki’s hands in hers. Saki stayed silent the whole walk to the car, playing on her DS once she gets into the backseat of Nayeon’s sports car. Sana decides to catch up on her emails. She looks up when the door to the backseat opens and she hears crying. 

“Nico, please calm down,” Sana turned at her wife’s voice. 

“No!” Nico screamed, still crying, burying her face into her shirt. 

“It’s over though baby.” Nico turned away from Nayeon and crawled towards Saki for protection. 

“Mama I think Nico needs some time.” Saki looked up from her DS. 

“Fine.” Nayeon sighed and went to the drivers seat. 

“She’s coming home?” Sana whispered to her wife. 

“The nurse and I couldn’t get her to calm down.” Nayeon shrugged. “I don’t know what’s gotten into her she’s being unnecessary.” 

“She’s six babe everything is a big deal to her.” Sana answered. “She’ll be fine, we just need to let her cry it all out.”

“I know.” Nayeon sighed as they pulled out of the parking lot. The whole way home Nico was still releasing little sobs in the backseat. Sana eventually turned to check on her, her face was bright red and her breath wasn’t coming easy as she leaned against Saki. Sana felt bad for her baby. 

xx

Nayeon took Nico to her room for a nap, all the crying and hysterics had made her exhausted, while Sana guided Saki to the living room. 

“You are not Hotaru.” Sana started their conversation. 

“I know.” Saki nodded. “But no one else knows that.”

“Saki honey yes we do. You have always been my little Saki.” Sana answered. 

“I’m sorry for being Saki.”

“Why do you feel that way baby?”

“Because Hotaru is so much better than me, everyone likes Hotaru, no one likes Saki.” Saki explained, tears on the corner of her eyes. “Even Hotaru wants me to be Hotaru.”

“Saki I like you.” Sana looked into her daughter’s eyes. 

“But not as much as you love Hotaru.” Saki nodded. “Don’t lie mom.”

“Saki, why do you feel like this?” Sana had to remain calm. Even if she felt like guilt was eating her alive.

“Because Hotaru’s the favorite and I’m the least favorite.” 

“That’s not true we don’t have favorites or least favorites.” Sana nodded. 

“You sure about that?” Saki snapped back painfully. “Hotaru is just your perfect daughter and I’m the one who always gets in trouble. No one listens to me.” 

“Saki honey, your my perfect daughter too, so is Nico and Hana and Hyemi. Your all my perfect daughters.” 

“It sure doesn’t feel like it.” Saki groaned. “Whenever someone does something bad it’s instantly my fault. Never Taru’s. Everyone always blames me.”

“Saki,” Sana sighed, trying not to be eaten alive with guilt. She didn’t have any siblings growing up. She didn’t know how the hell siblings were supposed to treat each other, but she realized she was handling it horribly wrong. Because as she thought about it, Saki was completely right. She always believed Hotaru because she just naturally trusted Hotaru, she never realized Hotaru could have been lying to her or deceiving her to get out of a punishment. “I’m sorry I made you feel like that.” 

“Your not as bad as Mama is though.” Saki shrugged. “At least you listened to me today.” 

“I want to listen to you, tell me everything you want to baby. I’m so sorry we did this to you. I get if you don’t feel comfortable talking to me, we can send you to a therapist if you need someone to talk to that isn’t your Mama or I. I don’t want you to think your inferior to your sisters, because you are not.I love you so much baby. I love your sisters so much too.” Sana pulled Saki into her arms. 

“I hate Hotaru so much,” Saki finally let her tears go. “She’s so horrible. I can’t- I can’t be around her anymore. She always makes me feel so bad.” 

“I’m sorry baby,” Sana rocked Saki in her arms. “I know she didn’t mean it, but we should have been more understanding. I won’t make you do anything with your sister again.”

“I can’t be friends with anyone at school because of her! Everyone there just looks at me and wonders why I’m like an annoying worse version of her!” Saki let out. 

“I’m sorry baby,” Sana’s heart was breaking for her daughter. “Do you want to move schools? I’m sure we could find something for you.” 

“I just, I don’t want to be compared to her ever again.” Saki sobbed. “I’m Saki, I’m not Hotaru.” 

“That’s right honey, your Saki.” Sana muttered, holding her daughter tighter. “I love you for being Saki. Saki is just as good as Hotaru.” Saki continued sobbing and Sana let her own tears drip. She did everything she could to calm her daughter down, but the guilt was eating her alive. She had done this to her daughter. It was her fault. 

xx

Sana didn’t sleep well that night. Nayeon had. Sana felt guilt eat at her the entire night. She didn’t want to skip the girls ice skating in the first place, but this made it worse. She really really wanted to go now. But she was walking a thin line of supporting Saki and upsetting Hotaru and Hana. 

In the morning, Saki and Nico both stay completely silent through breakfast, neither daring to mutter a single word. Once Mina arrived to pick them up, they both left quietly, not even bothering to say goodbye. 

Sana’s guilt somehow got worse.

xx

 _“She’s beautiful,” Nayeon muttered as she looked at the small sleeping baby in her wife’s arms._

_“What are the chances of us having five girls?” Sana joked._

_“Probably one in a million, I don’t mind it though.” Nayeon whispered, scanning the newborns face. “Is she okay?”_

_“For now.” Sana answered honestly. “Are the kids outside?”_

_“They can’t wait to meet their little sister.” Nayeon smiled. “Our family is perfect.”_

_"Yeah, it is,” Sana smiled back._

_“She’s so tiny, smaller than any of the others, even the twins.” Nayeon muttered, putting her hand on the newborn._

_“She gave everyone a scare.” Sana whispered. “She’s a dramatic one.”_

“I can’t imagine making her mad at me.” Nayeon whispered. “The other girls made me feel like this too, but she’s so small, and precious, and well she’s our youngest. I can’t make her mad at me. I just- I can’t.” 

_“Are you going to cry?” Sana teased. She had cried earlier, seconds after the baby was born, but teasing Nayeon was worth the hypocrisy._

_“Yes. I love you baby girl.” Nayeon looked at the baby once more. “I’ll never make you mad at me, I’ll never hurt you, I’ll never make you feel unloved.” Sana smiled at Nayeon’s cheesy words to their baby._

xx

 

“Nico what’s wrong?” Mina had noticed there was something wrong with her best friends daughter through the entirety of the girls competitions. Yujin had asked if Nico and Saki could have a sleepover after, and of course Sana and Mina both agreed. Mina may not have been Nico’s mother, but she could tell when something was up with her considering how close she was with Yujin. 

“Mommy and Mama don’t love me.” Nico muttered. Mina had pulled her off to the side while Dahyun and the older girls were watching a movie. 

“That’s not true.” Mina looked into Nico’s eyes and saw emotions beyond Nico’s age swimming in her hazel colored eyes. 

“They don’t.” Nico cried, tears running down her cheek. “I don’t wanna go home.” 

“Nico,” Mina instantly wrapped the child up in a hug. “They are your mommy and mama.” 

“But-But they don’t want me.” Nico sobbed. 

“Nico.” Mina muttered, she was a pretty emotional person so Nico’s breakdown was making her almost cry too. Nico nodded and continued to sob. Mina didn’t know what to do, her and Dahyun only had one child so she had never felt with something like this with Yujin. 

“I want them to love me.” Nico sobbed, Mina picking her up and carrying her to Mina and Dahyun’s bedroom so they could have a bit more privacy. 

“They do honey, calm down,” Mina’s heart was aching for her best friend’s daughter. Nico looked so distraught. Nico just cried louder until she eventually exhausted herself to the point she all but passed out from exhaustion. Mina tucked her into her side of the bed before leaving to call Sana. 

xx

“I’m worried about her Dahyun,” Mina muttered while standing in front of their shared bedroom. 

“Have you told Sana?” Dahyun asked, rubbing Mina’s arm reassuringly.

“I don’t know if that will make Nico feel better or worse.” Mina nodded. “I keep thinking what would happen if this was Yujin.” 

“Yujin is happily sleeping after we both gave her plenty of kisses and reminded her we love her. She knows we love her.” Dahyun nodded. “Nayeon Unnie is kinda stupid and Sana Unnie doesn’t have any siblings, they need a little bit of guidance that’s all.” 

“So I should tell Sana?” Mina asked. 

“Let her sleep a bit more first, but it would be better if we can get them here before midnight when we go to bed, this isn’t exactly something that can wait for tomorrow.”

xx

“Nayeon.” Sana shook her wife. “Nayeon we have to go, it’s Nico.” 

‘What?” Nayeon muttered. They had come home to nap after being in the sun all day for their daughters’ sports events and they had both fallen into a pretty deep sleep until Sana’s phone woke her up. 

“We need to go.” 

“Why?” 

“Nico had a breakdown in front of Mina.” Nayeon never got out of bed faster. 

xx

Mina opened the door for them, a worried look on her face. She lead them towards the bedroom and said her and Dahyun would be in the guest room if they needed anything. Nico was sleeping in Mina and Dahyun’s king sized bed, her face red from crying and her arms wrapped around herself. Sana almost felt worse waking her up. Nayeon had to be the one to do it, she gently awoke Nico and the little girl looked at them surprised, but it quickly morphed to anger and sadness. She scooted as faraway from them on the bed as she could get. 

“Nico.” Nayeon sighed. “Honey we just want to know what’s wrong.”

“Go away,” Nico curled herself up protectively. “I’m mad at you.” 

“I know you are honey.” Sana nodded. “We told you about it earlier, but I’m still sorry.” Nico stayed silent. “The silent treatment.” Nico nodded stubbornly from her catlike ball. 

“Well then you can’t protest when I do this,” Nayeon launched forward and began tickling Nico’s exposed sides, Nico laughing wildly. 

“Stop!” Nico giggled. 

“I thought you said you weren’t talking to me,” Nayeon teased. 

“Mama,” Nico giggled. 

“I won’t stop until you tell me what’s making you upset.” Nayeon nodded. “If you don’t then it will be tickle torture forever, and I don’t think tickle torture is something you want.” Nico nodded and finally nodded, uncurling from her ball and trying to grab Nayeon’s hands to stop her. Sana nodded, Nayeon always did have a way with kids. It may not always be obvious, but Nayeon really did know how to take care of the kids better. Her job just proved a bit of a complicated variable when it came to relations with their kids. 

“Mama please,” Nico giggled. 

“Okay,” Nayeon pulled away, smiling at the grin on Nico’s face. “That’s better.” Nayeon leaned down and kissed Nico’s forehead. “What’s wrong princess?”

“You don’t love me.” Nico’s expression quickly changed. “Mommy doesn’t either.”

“Nico…” Sana muttered, dealing with Saki and Hana in the same week had been physiologically defeating, but none of it hit quite like Nico’s. She was so little, but her words were so heavy. “Honey, come here,” Nico nodded and moved away, burying herself under the covers. 

“Nico stop,” Nayeon nodded. “Come here.” 

“Nope.” Nico held the covers down over her head. Sana nodded and crawled under the covers from a different access point, startling Nico and pulling her into the tightest hug. 

“Nico sweetheart, my Nico,” Sana stalled while she thought of the correct words. “Listen to me okay, we will never not love you. Ever. I’m sorry we haven’t given you enough attention that is completely your Mama and mine’s faults we seriously messed up. With you and Saki. We’re so sorry, we’ll make more of an effort. You can even give us a punishment for being bad if you want. You will always be our little princess, and we’re so sorry for messing up. We love you so much honey. I love you so freaking much.” 

“Mommy said a bad word.” Nico answered with, stopping struggling in Sana’s arms.

“Yeah mommy you said a bad word.” Nayeon joined teasingly. 

“Not helping babe,” Sana lightly hit Nayeon’s arm. 

“Ow okay fine.” Nayeon pouted and laid so her face was even with Nico’s. “It’s mama’s fault too, she’s been bad and mean. I’m sorry honey. I-I didn’t know you were feeling this way. I promise I love you. Mama is still learning how to be a Mama. I’m sorry. I love you so much though my little star.” 

“Mommy and Mama punishment.” Nico muttered. 

“You want to give us a punishment?” Nico nodded in response to Sana’s question. “Go ahead honey.”

“Mommy and Mama have to carry me everywhere. Forever.” Nico nodded. 

“Forever?” Nayeon asked. “Mama is not strong enough for that baby. How about the next week?”

“Forever.” Nico held firm. 

“The next month?” Nayeon tried to reason. 

“Forever.” Nico nodded. 

“The next year?”

“Fine.” Nico nodded. 

“Okay, Nico won’t have to walk for the next year.” Nayeon nodded. 

“Unless I wanna.” Nico added. 

“Unless she wants to.” Nayeon declared. “Do you feel a bit better kiddo?” Nico nodded. 

“We’re sorry sweetheart.” Sana apologized again. “We didn’t mean for you to think we don’t love you. We always will.”

“Even if I’m bad?” Nico asked. 

“Especially if your bad.” 

xx

Hyemi nodded as she fiddled with her empty vape pen between her fingers. Her hookup was supposed to show up fifteen minutes ago and she was freezing. She pulled her sister’s jacket closer, Hana loved big hoodies and Hyemi always spent her money on vape refills so she couldn’t afford to buy her own. The last thing she really bought besides vape refills was a birthday presents for her sisters. And even then it was a cheap IKEA stuffed animals. Nico’s was in late October and Saki and Hotaru’s was in early December and that was too close for Hyemi. So naturally Nico and Saki got the best gifts including their favorite animals in stuffed form and a sketch of Hyemi’s favorite picture of them, Hotaru only getting five face masks and a stuffed one dollar rat from IKEA. Hyemi had given Saki her present in secret, she wanted to get her something nicer than Hotaru without Hotaru throwing a fit, again. Hyemi nodded. Her parents had been a lot better towards Saki and Nico. Hyemi liked it, it meant they were getting off her case and giving the attention to people that actually needed it. They both looked a lot happier now. Hyemi was proud of them. 

Her hookup showed up and Hyemi complained about him being late. He apologized and gave a lame ass excuse of his cat being sick. Hyemi nodded and smoked the flavored vape, the flavor was naturally sweet. It was kind of Creme Brûlée like, but Hyemi’s hookup said he wasn’t entirely sure. Hyemi kind of liked it, though it was overly sweet. Her friends had joined her, her friend Jaemin had even brought weed and beer. Hyemi loved the days they were all free and could do shit like this. Weed was great, beer was great, vape was great, Hyemi loved the rare times Jaemin brought them. Maybe it was the weed or nicotine or the alcohol, maybe it was the adrenaline. But in that moment, Hyemi felt on top of the world.

The feeling didn’t last. 

xx

Nico and Saki were sleeping with Nayeon and Sana. It had been a week, and after getting Nico home she admitted to them Saki felt the same as she did towards them. They had been better, Nayeon had taken a few days off with the excuse of her kids being sick and they tried their best to give them all more attention. It was working, the girls were doing a lot better. 

That night, since Hotaru, Hana, and Hyemi were all out they decided it would be a good night to all cuddle and watch Disney movies. They had all fallen asleep for a few hours when Nayeon’s phone rang loudly. Nayeon quickly picked it up, trying to not wake Sana and the kids. She answered it immediately. 

“Hello?” Nayeon whispered. “Who is this?”

“Mama,” Nayeon was confused at Hyemi’s voice. “I fucked up.” Nayeon practically leaped out of bed at the next thing that came out of Hyemi’s mouth. 

xx

“Come on.” Was the first thing Nayeon said to Hyemi. “Let’s go.”

“Mama,” Hyemi tried to pout. 

“That isn’t going to work on me anymore young lady, not after this.” Nayeon gestured to the police station they were in. Hyemi’s lip was busted and her wrists were chaffed from where they had previously been in handcuffs. Hyemi looked tiny in the chair at the cold police station. But Nayeon felt little remorse for her daughter. She thought she had taught her daughter better than drugs and alcohol. She blamed herself.

She kept thinking, kids do this shit. They do it because it’s fun and they are kids and don’t think about the possible repercussions of breaking the law. Nayeon personally didn’t have a huge problem with weed, however she didn’t think Hyemi should be doing it underage, same with alcohol and vape. “Let’s go.” Nayeon pulled her face mask further up her face as she lead Hyemi out the police station. The media was going to have a field day with this. Sana’s stocks were probably going to drop and Nayeon was going to have to deal with articles like “Im Nayeon and Minatozaki Sana can’t control their party girl daughter.” 

“I’m sorry.” Hyemi muttered as they got into the car. 

“You will be.” Nayeon nodded. “Look I get it, your young and it’s fun but it’s reckless. Your underage Hyemi, not only are you breaking a law you could be messing up your brain. I don’t want you to develop any addictions. Vape is the worst, especially if there’s nicotine, I really don’t want you to develop an addiction. It runs in our family.”

“It does?” Hyemi asked. 

“Yeah, your grandfather on my side and your uncle. I was going to tell you about it when I took you drinking for the first time when you turned eighteen but I guess we have to have this talk now.” Nayeon sighed. “It comes from my side, your mom’s side is perfect rich people who drink a lot of wine without being really addicted. My side of the family is the fucked up side. Your uncle changed when he met your Aunt. But he struggled against alcohol and drug addictions for seven years and now he’s managed to be sober for nine years, but I can tell you he relapsed when your cousins were kids. Your grandfather never got sober. He died of alcohol poisoning when you were six. I never told you about it because you were too young, but I need you to know the severity of what your messing with.” 

“I’m sorry Mama.” 

“How long have you been doing this?” Nayeon asked seriously. 

“This was my first time.” 

“No it wasn’t.” Nayeon looked into Hyemi’s eyes. “I’ll believe you if you can tell me that with a completely straight face looking into my eyes.” 

“It was my first-” Hyemi interrupted herself. 

“Okay fuck fine it wasn’t my first time.”

“Don’t say the word fuck.” 

“You said it!” Hyemi argued. 

“Not relevant.” Nayeon nodded. “How long Hyemi?”

“About six months.” 

“Is this why you were out until late?” Nayeon asked and Hyemi solemnly nodded. “Look I get it. In high school I tried weed once too. It was fucking great. But you know what? Your mother found me stoned and slapped me across the cheek. She slapped sense into me. Weed was amazing but at the same time, I wasn’t in a clear mind space. I wasn’t thinking about my future. I don’t have anything against smoking weed personally, but society hasn’t accepted it yet. They might not ever. And you know what oh well, that’s life.”

“You smoked weed?” Hyemi laughed. 

“Yeah Hyemi I was your age once too.” Nayeon shrugged. “Anyway, I’ll be thinking of your punishment on the way home. I’m telling your mom in the morning, I bailed you out but I hope you know that’s going on your permanent record.” Nayeon nodded. 

“I’m sorry,” Hyemi finally let her tears fall. 

“I know you are.” Nayeon sighed. “It’s just, you need to be punished for this.” 

“I know.” 

“Good, look this isn’t the end of the world for you honey. I also want to know, were you doing this for fun or stress?” Nayeon asked. 

“Both?” Hyemi shrugged. “School is kicking my ass.”

“High school sucks, there’s no way to sugarcoat that.” Nayeon shrugged. “And you can cuss around me. I called you out for fuck because I don’t like you saying that particular one.” 

“Fine,” Hyemi shrugged. 

“But don’t cuss around your sisters I swear to god your mother would be so pissed if you did that.” Nayeon sighed. “Look Hye, I’m still mad at you, but I’m more offended. I want you to talk to me about this stuff. Weed, alcohol, vape. That stuff is not okay.” Nayeon nodded. “Speaking of I had the police station throw out your vape pen. Your not getting that back. And tomorrow I’m checking your room, no you don’t get a say in this, and if I find weed, vape, drugs or anything like that, I’m throwing it away the second I find it. No more, I’m serious. Addiction is not a joke.” 

“Okay,” Hyemi sighed. “Why aren’t you like kicking me out? I ruined your reputation.” 

“You didn’t ruin my reputation. I don’t care about that Hyemi, I care about you and your well being. Don’t you want your mother’s company?”

“No.” Hyemi answered. “I don’t want any of that bullshit.” 

“You have always said you want your mother’s company.”

“I said that to keep mom happy.” Hyemi shrugged.

“Hyemi stop.” Nayeon nodded. “What do you really want to do? You can be honest, we’ve started cursing around each other meaning we can tell each other anything.” Hyemi laughed a bit at that, wiping a few residual tears. 

“I want to do art.” Hyemi answered. 

“That’s cool! Do you have you can show me?” Nayeon asked happily. 

“Your not mad?” 

“Of course not Hyemi. I want you to be happy and if art makes you happy I’ll support you.” Nayeon nodded. “Except for drugs and alcohol.” 

“Yeah, I get that.” Hyemi nodded. “I’m sorry again.” 

“I’ll get over my anger I’ll get over my anger at you, after a few weeks of you doing all the cleaning in the house, including your sister’s rooms." Nayeon nodded. “And maybe the dishes, maybe some laundry.” 

“Oh god your going to torture me aren’t you?” Hyemi asked. 

“I’m also taking your phone,” Nayeon nodded. “That’s probably all. It’s not the same for you, if your friends get caught with weed they won’t make the front page of the news. You on the other hand, will. It’s my fault and I’m sorry but you have to be more careful, but not for me or your mother. For yourself.” 

“Okay,” Hyemi sighed. “Okay.” 

“Good.” Nayeon nodded as they finally got home. “Go to bed, you’ll have to deal with your mother’s wrath in the morning.”xx

They were able to contain all the news stories about Hyemi. Sana’s legal team was quick to keep the major news sharks at bay. Hyemi’s story ended up never even really becoming a scandal. Sana and Nayeon were thankful, they didn’t want Hyemi to get bullied by her classmates or sent threats by angry fans. 

Hana comes out to Nayeon, and Nayeon accepts her with open arms. Hana had been so worried before, Sana was proud of her baby for coming out. They both accept and support her, giving her an entire talk, from their hours spent researching, on binder safety and how to be healthy while wearing it. 

Sana had of course lost her shit when she found out Hyemi had been arrested, but Nayeon had been able to calm her wife down and the agreed on a punishment of no phone for a month and extra chores. 

Nico told them about Hyemi using her and Saki’s room to sneak out, and Nayeon installs a lock on the window. Hyemi was angry at first, going through a bit of nicotine withdraw but she was able to get through it and felt pretty shitty after. Nayeon told her it was another punishment, and joked that Hyemi should try cutting out caffeine. Hyemi said Nayeon should show by example. Nayeon nodded and told her not to go to extremes. Sana just mentioned no one wanted to see Nayeon off coffee. 

Nico and Saki are both better. Sana and Nayeon find themselves slipping into old habits but every time Nico holds her arms out for them to carry her it reminds them what they are being punished for. She wasn’t kidding about being carried everywhere, but Nayeon used Nico was her arm workout. 

 

Hotaru had always been fine, she was a bit mad about the lack of attention on her, she was the type that thrived being the center of attention, but Sana had a talk with her about respecting Saki’s individuality and how not everything revolved around her. Hotaru didn’t like it at first but eventually relented. 

“Mommy,” Nico giggled in Sana’s arms as Sana carried her. “Boop.” Nico poked Sana’s nose. 

“Boop.” Sana repeated with a giggle, both of her arms holding Nico up. 

“Do you want to switch yet?” Nayeon asked teasingly, she was trying to carry Saki and Hotaru at the same time like Sana was carrying Nico, but they were both bigger than their younger sister. 

“Nope.” Sana nodded, adjusting Nico’s dress. “I will switch with Hye though.”

“No I’m good,” Hyemi nodded, carrying the picnic basket instead. 

“Hana?” Sana tried. 

“Nope.” Hana nodded, holding the dog closer in her arms. 

“We should move faster, we need to find a good spot.” Hotaru mentioned from Nayeon’s back. 

“Yeah yeah real funny coming from you,” Nayeon rolled her eyes.

“The cherry blossoms look pretty,” Saki mentioned, looking up at the trees. When Sana and Nayeon were dating they would watch the cherry blossoms every season, but after Nayeon’s career picked up they stopped. They thought now that they were encouraging a more open family they should start up again.

“This seems okay,” Nayeon found a spot and instantly tried to get the two twins hanging off her to get off. “Give me a break please girls I’m not as young as I used to be.”

“Mama’s old,” Saki laughed. 

“Hey, watch your mouth kiddo.” Nayeon was only half joking. 

“Nico baby do you want to get down?” Sana asked as Hyemi set down a large blanket. 

“Yeah,” Sana put Nico down and Nico ran towards Saki, the two starting a game of tag with Hotaru and Hana. Hyemi lays and falls asleep, taking up half the blanket herself. Sana nodded and turned towards Nayeon, who had a goofy smile on her face. 

“I love you,” Sana smiled. “We’ve been through a lot lately, but it’s only made me love you more.”

“I know,” Nayeon giggled. “I love you more too. I’m finally happy, spending more time with you guys. Work isn’t as important as this is.” Nayeon gestured to the kids playing. Sana nodded and while they were distracted she planted a long kiss on Nayeon’s lips. 

“Mommy! Mama!” Nico giggled as she threw cherry blossoms petals over them while they were mid kiss. 

“You sneaky girl,” Nayeon pulled away and pulled Nico down onto her lap and pampered kisses around her face. 

Sana smiled and picked up a pink leaf. Cherry blossoms died quickly, but they were beautiful when they really lived. Sana was happy her family was finally alive again. It had been a long winter, but now, now they are in spring.


	9. winter (2na, part one)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst angst and more angst

Sana fell in love with Mina in the summer, it was easy, warm. She fell out of love in the winter. It was a lot harder to fall out of love with Mina, a lot colder. 

Sana remembered that day in the courtroom. It was snowing that day. She had worn a brand-new pantsuit, it hadn’t been worn since, it now lived in her closet collecting dust along side a framed photo from her wedding. She couldn’t bring herself to look at that stuff anymore.  
Mina’s face held no emotion that day. Sana remembers looking over on the verge of tears for the faintest amount of comfort from Mina, but all Sana had seen was the face of a monster who felt nothing at all. It hurt, but Sana did her best to display the same facade. 

The actual courtroom time was limited. They had both seen their divorce coming, they had both prepared before. They both knew who was going to get what. Mina got most of it anyway, the stuff they had to contest in court really was too easy for Sana to give up. Also, Sana had spent the whole time on the verge of tears so it was easy to give Mina whatever she wanted. Sana knew her voice would crack if she spoke too much, and since they were both keeping up a front she didn’t want to be the first one to crack. 

Signing the divorce papers had been too easy really. Sana’s hands had shook, but she just thought of it as another boring legal form. She didn’t read it until afterwards. It didn’t feel real until afterwards. Her changed last name still didn’t feel quite right. 

Even in the courtroom where Sana was trying her best not to be swallowed by the monster of depression and anger she knew exactly why they were doing it. It had to be done really. Mina was more in love with her job than Sana and Sana was just so tired of it. She couldn’t do it anymore, every time they saw each other they fought. It wasn’t healthy. Their marriage had already been ruined. There was no fixing it by that point. 

The kids had been left with Momo for the day. Sana had Mina pick them up, too eager to go to her new home and soak her new pillow in tears. Mina still resented her for having to be the one to explain to the kids what they had just done to their family. 

They switched off who took care of the kids once a week. Sana would keep them for a week then take them to Mina’s on Sunday and Mina’s secretary would bring them back to Sana’s the next Sunday. The two quickly got used to having to constantly move their stuff. They didn’t live in Sana’s apartment or Mina’s house. They lived between it. 

Sana felt like a piece of shit every time one of the kids left something at Mina’s house and they couldn’t go get it, they would cry and cry and it was heartbreaking. Sana would usually cave and take the subway halfway across town to grab a stuffed dinosaur Saki can’t sleep without or Nico’s blankie. They couldn’t be expected to keep up with that stuff, they were six and four, but it was hard to remember every single detail every single week. 

When Sana was with Mina she didn’t have to work. Mina made more than enough for them to live comfortably so of course Sana had quit her safe job for Mina. It was so hard to find something after. She hadn’t worked in seven years and suddenly needed to make a lot to support herself and two kids, no one really wanted to hire her. Mina paid child support, but Sana never did anything with that money that wasn’t directly related to the kids. She would never even dream of using it for herself. Thankfully she found a job, even if the pay and conditions were shit at least she had a paycheck. 

Mina sent the kids to a fancy private school, gave them fancy clothes, fancy food, spoiled them so much Sana had to fight to undo everything Mina had done to their kids. When Saki would ask for something posh like caviar Sana would have to explain why caviar was not a normal food and that it was not something she should be asking for. 

When Nico would trow a fit because she wanted something and Sana wouldn’t buy it for her like Mina would, Sana would have to explain to her you can’t always get what you want. It was night and day for the kids, spoiled by Mina, structured by Sana. 

Mina worked more than Sana. They had different priorities, Sana’s number one was the kids and Mina’s was pleasing her parents. Sana could care less what her parents thought, divorcing Mina was the only option she had. All she could do now was work her ass off to support her daughters and make them feel loved. 

Sana had always been the better parent, Mina was always too focused on her work. They argued about it a lot, never in front of their kids, in their cold bedroom late at night. It was funny how their bedroom used to be a place where Sana would feel so much love for Mina, but as time went on it became a place where Sana felt so much pain from Mina.

Their divorce would never not be awkward. People felt scared to mention Mina to Sana and vice versa which was hard because they had a lot of mutual friends. The divorce was just hard on everyone. Especially the kids. They were young and change was hard. Saki started acting out a bit in class and Nico shut down. Nico became shyer than she had been before they spilt, almost like she was scared of adults. Saki got in trouble bimonthly until Mina pulled her out of class for a day and it stopped. Sana had no idea what Mina had said, but she hoped to god it didn’t teach Saki anything unhealthy. Mina was unhealthy in how she managed stress. Sana wanted to help her but Mina didn’t want her help and well what was Sana supposed to do. Somewhere along the way she just stopped caring. 

Mina was never a bad person. Sana never thought she was. She loved Mina. Mina was sweet, and cute. But her and Sana didn’t work out. It happened. It was all just a part of life. 

xx

“Mommy!” Nico giggled as she ran to Sana, her backpack bouncing as she ran. It had been a long week, every week the kids spent at Mina’s was hard for Sana, she hoped it was the same for Mina. 

“Hi baby!” Sana giggled and picked the child up, putting a kiss on Nico’s cheek. 

“Mama brought us today!” Nico smiled. 

“Oh really? Where is she?” Sana asked looking for her ex wife. Mina never brought the kids to the drop off point. It was always Mina’s secretary. Sana was always secretly thankful, it meant she never had to go through the pain of seeing Mina. 

“There!” Nico pointed when Mina came in with Saki. Saki ran to her and hugged Sana’s waist and Sana leaned down for a quick kiss to Saki’s head before addressing Mina. 

“Mina.” Sana tried to make her voice devoid of emotion. 

“Sana.” Mina greeted. “I just wanted to tell you personally that my parents will be in town at the end of this week and want to see the kids so I’ll pick them up on Friday so they can spend the weekend with their grandparents.” Mina’s tone was so formal. There was no love anymore, feelings were too dangerous a thing for one of them to display. 

“Great I get no say in this I presume?” “They very rarely come in town,” Mina argued. “Friday, here.” Mina practically ran out and Sana knew she was upset too. Mina was afraid of confrontation but she had trained herself to put up a brief front before becoming her cute shy self. Sana sighed and looked at the girls. 

“Do you to want to get some drinks while we are here?” Their meet up place was a coffee shop. They had decided it long ago, the coffee was good and halfway between where Sana and Mina lived. 

“Juice!” Saki looked up at Sana and smile.

“Juice!” Nico repeated with a smile. 

“Juice it is girls,” Sana giggled. Seeing Mina had messed with her a bit, especially when it was unexpected. She usually needed at least two days to prepare herself for the anguish of seeing Mina. It messed with her in ways she couldn’t even bring herself to admit. 

Sana spared one last look at the door before forcing a smile on her face and asking the girls what they wanted for dinner. 

xx

Nico sleeps with Sana frequently. Nico told her it’s because Mina doesn’t come home until super late and Nico wants her cuddles. Sana was almost angry at Mina when she found out about that, but she left her alone. That was why she fell out of love with Mina in the first place. She didn’t want to go down that route of screaming at each other at three in the morning and both of them storming off to different places to cry. 

Nico and Saki share a room at Sana’s apartment. They had argued over who got the top bunk but Nico had won it because she was younger and Saki couldn’t say no to her that well. Nico would usually start in her top bunk bed, Sana would give her her goodnight kisses and sometimes read a story to her, though she and Nico barely both fit in the bed at the same time. After a few hours of sleeping Nico would climb down in her dark room and find her way to Sana’s room and climb into Sana’s bed and cuddle with Sana. Thankfully Nico looked more like Sana. When Saki did the same thing Sana would have to do a double take because Saki looked so similar to Mina when she slept. 

It felt weird, taking care of the kids alone. Sana had never imagined she would end up a single mom, but that was just how things went. Her and Mina weren’t meant to be together anymore. It was just life, Sana supposed. She always tried to be happy for the kids, and when she was with them she was happy. But in those gaps where they were with Mina, it was hard to bring herself to be happy. It was a never ending loop of elation and depression. It made Sana question why she got divorced, but then she just remembers how Mina looked when she was frustrated or angry or they were fighting again and it became easy to remember that this was for the best. 

xx

“Mina?” Sana paused when she saw Mina standing next to Saki. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to see our daughter’s play.” Mina answered, a stiff look on her face. I’m surprised you made time for our daughter for once Sana almost said. Almost. But she stopped herself when it was on the tip of her tongue. 

“Thank you for coming Mama!” Saki interrupted with a smile. “I love you!” 

“Yeah, I love you too Saki.” Mina smiled at Saki. 

“Mommy,” Nico was in Sana’s arms. She had gone to the nurse because she was a bit dizzy and was supposed to be sent home but she had insisted on watching her sister in her class play. 

“Oh Nico, it’s okay honey you can go back to sleep.” Sana kissed Nico’s hairline. 

“Is Nico-chan okay?” Saki asked. 

“Your sister is fine baby, she’s just a little sick don’t worry.” Sana caught Mina’s gaze. Mina was worried. Nico inherited Sana’s borderline anemia, and would often struggle with low iron levels. Sana had given her a power bar earlier though, she knew they just had to wait for the iron to set in and for Nico to return to normal. 

It was easy to pretend Mina didn’t love the kids as much as Sana did. It helped Sana dehumanize Mina in her mind which made it easier for Sana to pretend she hated Mina. But Mina loved the kids so much. Sometimes Sana wondered if it was possible to love and hate a person at the same time because that’s how she felt towards Mina. 

“How about I help you get dressed while your mommy takes your sister to find us some seats?” Mina directed her gaze away from Nico. 

“Saki do you want a snack? I have some gram crackers.” Sana ignored Mina.

“Gram crackers!” Saki smiled. 

“Okay, I’ll give them to you in a second.” Sana smiled at her daughter. “Mina can you hold Nico?” It felt weird to act somewhat like a family again. Not counting the time she saw Mina in the coffee shop two weeks ago it had been months since Sana had even been in the same room as Mina. She remembered why now. Sana dug the graham crackers out of her purse, she knew Saki would want a snack before her play. Sana was quick to take Nico back. It was a protective instinct. Mina had broken her, she didn’t want her to break Nico too. 

Nico sits between Mina and Sana. Neither wanted to sit next to the other, and Nico wanted cuddles from both of them so what better than to put her between them. She was mainly against Sana, only holding Mina’s hand tightly with both of her own. Mina was focused on something on her phone. Sana was sure it was work. Sana was just happy to see Mina put her phone down when the play started. Saki gets the honor of playing the princess in her first grade classes production, and she’s the best damn princess she could be. Sana videos it, she knew for fact her parents would want to see it and Sana loved taking photos and videos of the kids. When she would go through a depressive cycle while the kids were with Mina, she would look at the photos of the kids, and sometimes her or her friends with them, and she feels a bit better. It feels less like the whole thing was just a happy dream.

“I want sushi.” Saki demands after the play is over. 

“Okay, I’ll take you to get sushi while Sana takes Nico home-” Mina started. 

“I want to get sushi with both of you.” Saki demanded.

“Saki honey your sister is tired and needs rest-” Sana tried to defend. 

“I’m fine.” Nico smiled. “I feel a lot better now I want sushi.” Nico wiggled out of Sana’s arms. 

“But girls-”

“Please?” Neither Mina or Sana could say no to their daughters’ combined puppy dog eyes.

xx

It was awkward, but why is that a surprise. Especially because Sana recognizes the restaurant as a place Mina took her on a date once. Mina probably didn’t even remember, but for Sana it brought back awkward memories of holding hands under the table and a romantic city at night walk and making out in Mina’s car. They were younger than, more innocent. Neither could have predicted what would come next. 

Since Mina picked the restaurant of course it’s fancy. Sana feels out of place in her mom jeans and white sweater, but at least she wasn’t Saki still in her princess dress or Nico in her school uniform. Sana wasn’t sure how she felt about how her four year old had a uniform, but at least they gave the toddlers shorts. Saki had a skirt, granted Sana made her wear shorts under her skirt just for the sake of decency because Saki had no clue what that meant. Mina, of course, looked in place. Sana was sure Mina would look in place in cut off denim shorts and an old tee shirt. 

Sana watched as Nico got frustrated with her chopsticks. She was still new at it and while sushi was a relatively easy food to eat with chopsticks it keep slipping from Nico’s grip and she was getting increasingly frustrated. Sana was more than happy to feed Nico, and she was always good about opening her mouth for Sana, but she did want Nico to learn. 

Mina was preoccupied by something on her phone. It was making Sana angry, but Nico and Saki seemed fine with it. She wanted to tell Mina off for it, but she had to remember they weren’t married anymore, Mina wasn’t her baby anymore. 

Sana keeps the kids entertained, lightly sipping the sake Mina had gotten for her. She was only drinking it to be polite to Mina for buying it for them, but it wasn’t particularly something she wanted.

It seemed like forever until they were done with dinner. It was Sana’s night with the kids, but Saki insisted on going to Mina’s. Mina had nodded and said it was fine and she was happy to keep Saki that night. Sana rolled her eyes and took Nico home with her. 

That night, the way Nico was curled into Sana’s stomach brought back too many memories of Mina. One in particular stood out, swirling around Sana’s head, taunting her. 

_It was before Nico was born, Sana was five months pregnant with her at the time. Mina was working late and Sana was watching tv with Saki in the master bedroom, Saki curled into Sana’s stomach hugging her baby bump, her face on Sana’s chest. A thing Sana distinctly remembered Mina doing constantly when she was pregnant with Saki. They were watching Pororo together while waiting for Mina. Sana’s had one hand on Saki’s back and one hand on her stomach. Saki was asleep and Sana could barely keep her eyes open when Mina finally walked into their room._

_“Mina?” Sana had tiredly crooked._

_“Sana.” Mina had given her the sweetest smile. “Your awake, I told you not to wait for me.”_

_“Too bad,” Sana muttered. “Come here I want kisses.”_

_“I’m coming,” Mina whispered, not even bothering to take her work clothes off before hugging Sana’s other side. “How were our two babies today?”_

_“This one was good,” Sana gestured to Saki with her eyes. “This one on the other hand.” Mina giggled and ran her hand over Sana’s stomach. Sana turned her head over and leaned in to capture Mina’s lips in a kiss. “I missed you.” Sana whispered._

_“Did you?” Mina hummed. “I missed you too.” Mina smiled, leaning in for another kiss._

_“Let me turn the tv off and go change, I’ll be back for more cuddles okay baby?”_

_“Okay.” Sana yawned. “Hurry please, I want the cuddles.”_

_“I know,” Mina giggled and Sana remembers being blown away with how beautiful Mina was when she smiled. Sana remembers watching Mina change and feeling so in love with her. So happy, so content. She didn’t want to be anywhere but that moment. She had done it, she had found her happiness._

Too bad good things never lasted too long.

Sana wanted to forget those moments, those moments where she was in love with Mina. Every kiss, every touch. Sana wanted it all gone. 

She kissed Nico hair before burying her face in her baby’s messy dark hair. She wouldn’t cry. She wouldn’t.

xx

Sana supposes it’s normal for her friends to be concerned. Momo in particular. 

Momo would make a point to stay with Sana when the kids were gone, having sleepovers in the same bed like they were teenagers and not adults. Sometimes they would talk about Mina, sometimes they wouldn’t. It really just depended on if Sana needed to rant about pent up feelings from her divorce. 

Sometimes Sana would talk about running away. Running away from Mina, her past. Just taking the kids and leaving for somewhere new, Japan maybe. Momo let her entertain the thought, but would bring her down when she started to get too serious. Momo was a good friend to Sana, but Sana knew she did the exact same thing to Mina when it was Sana’s turn to have the kids. She felt terrible for getting Momo trapped in the middle of their divorce. But in a way, Momo was their baby too. And like their actual babies, she had to learn to share them without them taking a side. 

“Your not telling me something,” Sana mentions one sleepover. It’s a taboo for Sana to ask about Mina. Momo was not some messenger. She was their emotional support. 

“It’s nothing,” Momo nodded yawning. “We should go to sleep.” 

“Momo,” Sana whispered. 

“It’s Jihyo we had a fight-”

“No if it was Jihyo you would have a different face.” Sana nodded. “I know your Jihyo face and that’s not your Jihyo face.”

“Your too good at this.” Momo groaned. “I can’t tell you. You won’t like it anyway.” 

“What?” Sana nodded, getting impatient. 

“It has to do with Mina.” Momo nodded. Sana sighed, she would put up a front she didn’t want to know, but it was going to eat at her until she found out. Was Mina leaving? Was Mina sick? Did Mina have a disease?

“But if it impacts the kids, I should know shouldn’t I?”

“Well, why don’t you ask her yourself.” Momo nodded. 

“I guess I should,” Sana shrugged. “Come on let’s go watch a movie that doesn’t have a talking animal or princess.” 

“What? But those are my favorite types of movies!” 

xx

“Nico-chan do you like Miss Song?” Saki asks over dinner. Sana had actually taken the time to cook, something she didn’t normally have time to do. It was her first night with them of the week and she was ready to listen to a story about the kids week. She had missed them. But this was a weird start, neither of them had a teacher named Miss Song and Mina’s assistant’s last name was Kim.

“No, she kept looking at me weird.” Nico stuck her tongue out. 

“I know right?! Mama said it’s normal but I don’t like her. Especially when she holds Mama hands those are our hands to hold!” Saki complained. 

“Uh girls who is Miss Song?” 

“Mama’s girlfriend.” Sana felt her heart sink in that moment.


	10. winter (2na, part two)

It was ridiculous, Mina had every right to date someone, her and Sana were legally divorced. But Sana couldn’t even fathom dating someone new right now. They had only been divorced for seven months. Seven. And they had kids, which were a constant reminder of what once was. Sana didn’t know how she felt, she was a little angry, if her clenched fists were an indication. A little sad, if the tears pricking her eyes were any indication. A little jealous. No, no she wasn’t jealous. She wasn’t she swore. Okay, maybe she was jealous. But that had nothing to do with her feelings for Mina. 

Sana groaned, she couldn’t sleep. She didn’t feel like talking to Momo, she was mad at her for not telling her. She needed to talk to someone that would complain with her. Sana nodded before calling Nayeon. 

She told Nayeon and of course within five seconds Nayeon was on her way with ice cream. But by the time she arrived Sana was with Nico. Nico was asleep on Sana’s stomach again, making it difficult to untangle her so she could talk to Nayeon. “She’s so cute,” Nayeon told Sana. 

“She’s clingy.” Sana sighed with a small smile.

“Well it runs in the family, come here bitch.” Nayeon held her arms out for Sana to seek refuge in. Sana hugged Nayeon tightly, tears dripping out of her eyes onto Nayeon’s sweater. “How do you feel about this?”

“I don’t know.” Sana answered. “I just- she can do whatever she wants but how can she move on but I-”

“You can’t.” Nayeon finished for Sana. “Mina’s a complicated person. I honestly thought neither of you was going to move on.” Nayeon sighed. “Let’s eat some ice cream, want to watch a rated r movie?” 

“Nothing too loud.” Sana nodded. “What kind of ice cream?” 

“Your favorite of course. Just so you know, I love you Sana.” Nayeon whispered. 

“Yeah, I know. Thank you Unnie, I love you too.” Sana pulled away and wiped her tears. 

They watched stupid comedy movies and together ate the entire pint of ice cream, Nayeon doesn’t leave until after the breakfast Sana makes her as thanks. They didn’t sleep at all, they talked through a few of Sana’s sad or angry moments otherwise cuddling while the movie was on. Sana felt so bad taking Nayeon away from her girlfriend for a night, but Nayeon reassured her Chaeyoung was understanding. The girls were so happy to see Nayeon they didn’t want to go to school. Nayeon is able to convince them in exchange for a promise to spend a whole day with her and Chaeyoung, who Saki says is her favorite Aunt. Nayeon parts ways with them to go to school, Sana holding their hands as she lead them to school.

Once she gets to work she tries to forgot the fact Mina was able to move on from such a long relationship in seven months. Especially when Sana herself couldn’t. 

During her lunch break Sana leaned back in her chair and looks at the ceiling for the majority of it. Maybe she should move on too. Sana’s face of discomfort changed when she opened her lunch box, Saki and Nico had each slipped in a drawing. Saki’s had the words “I love you mommy” on it next to a messy drawing of a her and what she presumed to be Nico and Saki. Nico drew a big messy multi colored heart with just the word “Mommy” next to it. Her heart swelled. Nico and Saki would do this a lot, but every time Sana nearly cried. It made her so happy. She had two perfect kids, what more could she need? Who cared about Mina. 

She has to take the subway to get to the girls school to pick them up. It was so far from her work, it was in Mina’s world, not hers. The school was nowhere near Sana’s world, which made sense considering the prestige. Sana didn’t mind it though, her mother was right when Sana complained about it once to her. The school would give the girls opportunities Sana herself hadn’t been given. Sana didn’t mind having to travel extra far if it meant her daughters were being given the best opportunities possible, that was worth it. Sometimes Sana remembered what it was like to live in Mina’s world. The fancy food, fancy clothes. She wouldn’t say she missed it, not with the large amounts of fancy clothes still sitting in her closet and the fact Jeongyeon made food ten times better than anything at those restaurants. But it was a different life, one Sana had to adjust too without. She did get money from Mina for child support, but Sana wasn’t materialistic enough to spend said money on anything other than it’s purpose, the kids. She made enough for rent and food, granted it wasn’t as fancy as the kids got at Mina’s. Sana went grocery shopping every Monday, if it was her week with the kids she would buy real food, she made an effort to make basic dishes with healthy components. However, to save money, when Sana was alone she mainly relied on instant ramen and instant food, like any broke college student. 

 

Sana first picked up Nico, like normal. Nico was boundless, she seemed to have more energy than normal and Sana had trouble keeping her hand in hers. Sana learned she had been given an extra long nap today, and Sana sighed knowing it meant Nico was likely to not want to go to bed like normal. When she went to get Saki, she was surprised to see Mina with her. 

“We seem to keep running into each other.” Sana comments as greeting. 

“Yeah, small world, I guess.” Mina shrugs. “Saki’s in trouble again.”

“I didn’t do anything!” Saki defended. 

“You were caught eating in class,” Sana had to hold herself back from laughing. As far as things Saki could get in trouble for that was a fairly mild thing to get in trouble for. It was almost funny. 

“I was hungry!” Saki argued. 

“I’m sure you were.” Mina nodded. “No games for a week, you know our deal.” Saki pouted and ran to Sana’s side for refuge. Sana didn’t want to ask about the deal (she did, but she wouldn’t admit it). 

“Hi Mama,” Nico waved at Mina before running off to Saki’s desk in the empty classroom. “I’m Saki!” Nico giggled. 

“Come on sweetheart.” Sana giggled and held an arm out for Nico. Nico nodded and ran back, jumping into Sana’s outstretched arm. “Your getting heavy.” 

“I’m a big girl!” Nico smiled. 

“I”m bigger!” Saki argued. Nico stuck her tongue out at her sister in response, invoking a response of defense from her sister. 

“Girls please.” Mina sighed, but a small giggle gave her away. Sana hated how much she loved this moment. 

“We should go Mama probably has stuff to do.” Sana tried to escape. 

“Mina, you ready?” Sana froze when she heard a new woman’s voice walk into the room. 

“Yeah give me a second Jieun.” Mina smiled at the woman and Sana turned to face her. Fuck. She was pretty. Sana scanned her up and down, she didn’t expect to meet Mina’s new girlfriend. At least, this soon. Her heart felt like it was going to stop any second. “How rude of me, Jieun, this is Sana.” Jieun walked to Sana in her heels and held a hand out for Sana to shake. Sana shook it and noted how Nico held her tighter when Jieun approached. 

“Hi Miss Song.” Saki nodded. 

“Hello Saki,” The woman smiled at the girl. “Hi Nico.” Nico looked up from Sana’s shoulder to mutter a quick hi before reburying herself into Sana. 

“Sorry about her she’s pretty shy.” Sana apologized on behalf of Nico. 

“Oh I know, Mina’s told me about it.” Sana was practically fuming under her kind exterior. 

“Well, Jieun you ready to go?” Sana hated the way they laced their hands together.

“Yeah, Saki you be a good girl next time okay?” Saki just nodded as the two left, hand in hand. Sana felt sick to her stomach. 

“I don’t like her.” Saki said once the door was shut. 

“Why not baby?” Sana asked, shifting Nico to just one arm so she could hold Saki’s hand. 

“She just, doesn’t seem right. She seems nice but I know she says bad things about me and Nico, I heard her on the phone. And she is always looking at us weird. Nico doesn’t like her either.” Nico nodded. 

“She’s a meanie.” Nico added.

“I’m sure she’s not that bad girls,” Sana tried to laugh it off, hiding her inner turmoil. She felt sick, seeing Mina with another girl felt, wrong. Mina could date someone, it’s part of a divorce that once divorced you could date someone else. But it didn’t feel right to see Mina and Jieun together. 

“No mommy, she is.” Saki nodded. 

“Come on girls, don’t be mean.” Sana was defending her but that didn’t mean Sana liked the woman. It was quite the opposite actually. She had spent little time with her, but she could tell she hated this woman already. 

The whole night, Sana was preoccupied by the encounter. She could feel the jealousy in her heart, she hated it so much.

xx

The next week starts normal. Sana’s apartment feeling empty as she makes her way to work, grabbing a book so she had an excuse not to come home until late. Sana went to work, it was uneventful and boring like most office jobs, but what could she do it was a paycheck. After work she heads to her favorite coffee shop, book in hand intending to drink a relaxing tea and read for a bit. Once she gets there and gets her tea, she finds a cozy seat against a window and opens her book. However, after a few moments, Sana thought she heard a voice she recognizes behind her. Sana was sitting back to back with a small wooden wall, meant to separate the shop in a way. The voice was right on the other side of the wall. 

“-I don’t know Mina. They seem more like Sana kids than yours.” Sana froze. It was the same voice as in Saki’s classroom. Sana realized who was behind her, and knew she should leave before she got more upset, but she was curious how the conversation would proceed. 

“It’s my fault, I don’t know how to parent them, Sana is so natural, but I’m just awkward. Plus work is so demanding. I hate it, I wish I could quit. Nico always waits for me in my bed and it hurts to see her alone cuddling her stuffed animals.” Sana knew that to be Mina’s voice. 

“Well, then why don’t you give them to Sana more, maybe like only take them every other weekend or something. You would get more time to yourself.” Sana’s blood was boiling. How dare this woman, an outsider make suggestions on their system. 

“I couldn’t do that to Sana or the kids. I love being with them, that’s not the problem. I love them so much. Sana already works so much to support herself, she doesn’t need the burden of watching the kids more. I-I’m impressed by her. She’s such a good mom.” Mina responded. Sana felt, touched by Mina’s statements. “Compared to her, I’m nothing. But I love them. I’ll do anything for them.” 

“You would still see them, but it would be easier for you, and I could see you more often.” The woman added. 

“You can see me when the kids are there.” Mina nodded. 

“It’s different, they are distractions. They are kids, they need to be the center of attention, not exactly a date worthy atmosphere when you have two kids hanging off of you.” Sana’s self control was very close to reaching it’s limit. Her and Mina had plenty of dates with the girls present. Movie dates, dinner dates. The girls would usually distract themselves long enough for Sana to sneak a few kisses and whispers of love and Sana felt content with those dates. “Besides, they are a bit annoying, needy too. Saki’s a future delinquent with how much she gets in trouble and Nico is just a piece of work.” Something in Sana snapped. She couldn’t leave without walking past the woman’s and Mina’s table and earlier she was afraid of that confrontation, but currently she was more angry than anything. Say what you want about Sana, but coming after Saki and Nico was a line not supposed to be crossed. Sana gather her stuff, making a scene as she stomped out of the coffee shop, making sure Mina got a good look at her face, she even slightly slammed the door, just to be bitchy. It was raining, but Sana didn’t care if her clothes got wet, she was much more preoccupied with the anger coursing through her veins.

When she got home she stormed up to her apartment and screamed into the pillow. She tore her clothes off and attempting to alleviate anger by throwing them on the ground into a wet pile. She was so mad she need to release her anger somehow. She had been tempted to go off on the woman, but held back on account of not wanting to be that petty. But since Mina wasn’t appearing to correct her, Sana was tempted too. Sana spent a few minutes pacing to get rid of her anger, only to be interrupted by a knock. Sana took a deep breath to calm down and not scare her unexpected visitor. She took another breath before opening the door. 

“Mina?” Sana asked, knowing her face was still red with anger. Mina was standing there, alone, and wet from the rain. She looked upset. 

“Can I come in?” Sana nodded dumbly and moved to the side to let her ex wife into her house. Mina stood awkwardly at the entrance to the living room, and Sana knew it was account of her still dripping water. “Oh- uh do you want a towel or something? You can borrow some clothes too if you need-”

“A towel is fine.” Mina nodded. Sana nodded and walked into the bathroom, grabbing the first towel she saw before making a quick stop in her room to grab a change of clothes. She returned to Mina awkwardly peeling off her wet shoes, standing uncomfortably in her jeans and nice white tee shirt. She looked so tiny. Sana’s anger was forgotten with how tiny and upset Mina looked. She wanted to wrap her up in the biggest hug. 

“Uh- here, I gave you a change of clothes too. I assume wet jeans isn’t all that comfortable.” Mina thanked her. 

“Where’s your bathroom?” Sana was so stupid, right Mina had never been here before. 

“Last door down the hallway.” Sana pointed, Mina nodded before carrying the two items with her. Sana watched her leave, before scrambling to the kitchen to make some tea. Mina may be her ex, but she didn’t want her to catch a cold. Sana still remembered Mina’s favorite tea, English breakfast with a hint of honey. Probably a lot of caffeine considering it was nighttime, but Sana figured Mina needed it. 

When she finished the tea she found Mina waiting for her on the living room couch. 

“Um, nice apartment.” Mina blurted out. 

“Oh, thank you.” Sana nodded. “Sorry for the mess, kids.” Sana was a bit embarrassed at the mess of toys on the floor and crayons on the table. 

“I know.” Mina smiled a bit, to alleviate some of the awkwardness. 

“Um, what did you want to talk about?” Sana felt awkward sitting on her own couch. Mina was next to her, her hair still wet, though Sana’s hair was wet too. Sana’s clothes still fit Mina, a little big because Mina was shorter than her but it was always nice to see Mina in little makeup, a comfy hoodie, and sweatpants. 

“I saw you earlier,” Mina started. “At the coffee shop.” 

“Yeah I made a pretty dramatic exit didn’t I?” Sana joked. 

“Yeah, you did.” Mina smiled. “In true Minatozaki Sana fashion.” 

“I’ll have you know that was the third time I’ve made that grand of an exit before.” Sana nodded. 

“I remember them both, the first time you wireman because I lost your favorite glitter pen, then the other- the other-”

“Was when the seamstress messed up your dress two days before our wedding.” Sana finished for her. “I remember.”

“Yeah, I do too.” Mina sighed. “Um anyway, what I came here for.” 

“Right.” Sana didn’t want to go too far down memory lane. She didn’t want to get to a point she couldn’t return from. 

“I uh, I broke up with Jieun.” Mina started. “After you stormed off.”

“Oh.” Sana took a sip of the warm tea that Mina still hadn’t touched. 

“I was mad at her too.” Mina nodded. 

“You had every right to be, I was pretty mad too.” Sana sighed into her tea cup. 

“I could tell.” Mina nodded. “I wanted to say I’m sorry you had to hear any of that.” Sana hated how sad Mina looked. 

“No, it’s okay.” Sana clenched her fists. “I think I made it clear to her to backoff.” 

“You didn’t do anything.” Mina cracked a small smile. 

“I gave her an intimidating look!” Sana defended. 

“It was more cute than intimidating.” Mina nodded. “I suppose you heard all of our conversation?” Mina asked as her face fell back down. 

“I did.” Sana nodded. “Do you really want to change the system?”

“No! Please don’t! I’m sorry she was messing with my head-” Mina was crying. Sana’s heart hurt. She still hated seeing Mina cry, even after all those years of happy and painful tears caused by Mina. 

“Mina,” Sana nodded. “I don’t want to change it either. It’s fair.” Even if it was the source of a lot of internal turmoil for Sana the system was inarguably fair. 

“Okay, okay, good.” Mina wiped her tears with the back other hand and took a long sniffle. “Thank you.” It was so quiet Sana almost didn’t hear it. 

“Of course Mina. I would never try to take the kids away from you.” Sana nodded, ignoring her crazy running away ideas she sometimes fancied. “I know you love them too.” 

“I do.” Mina whispered. “They were one of the few things I’ve done right in the last few years.” 

“What were those other things?” Sana noticed Mina blush and she looked like a teenager again in Sana’s clothing looking awkward and not a high profile CEO.“There was only one more thing.” Mina answered. 

“Marrying you.” Sana’s heart almost stopped. 

“But you already moved on. Why was it something you did right if you clearly didn’t care that much-”

“I-I haven’t. I missed you so much I said yes to the first girl who asked me out, not realizing how bad of a woman she was. I’m sorry. For everything. I did exactly what my father did to my mother. Divorced heartlessly and then was a bad parent to the kids after I-”

“Mina! Your rambling again baby.” Sana slapped her hand over her mouth at the word baby. It had just slipped. “Shit I’m sorry it slipped.” 

“I-It’s okay.” Mina was still crying. “I-I’m so sorry for everything I did to you. I wanted to say it for so long. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay Mina.” Sana sighed. “I have to take some of the blame too. There were never any one sided fights after all.” 

“Yeah there weren’t, but I have to take credit for being so terrible to you.” Mina sighed. “I just, I messed up. I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to do any of this. You were my first long relationship.” “

You were mine too.” Sana nodded. “We were both new at it.” 

“That’s not an excuse though. I treated you so horribly, I dragged you through all my personal issues with work and shut down when I got too in my head. I’m so fucking sorry Sana.” Mina sobbed. 

“It’s okay Mina,” Tears will welling up in Sana’s eyes with the emotional display from Mina. “Mina?”

“Yes?” Mina looked up at her teary eyed. 

“Do you want to start over? From the very beginning.” Sana offered. “As friends.” 

“Sana.” Mina wrapped her arms around Sana. “I would like that but I wouldn’t want to hurt you-”

“You won’t hurt me. I think I’m ready to be friends again.” Sana nodded. 

“Friends would be amazing.” Mina nodded. 

“Where are my kids then huh friend?

”“They are with their babysitter tonight.” Mina giggled. “I should be getting back to them soon.” 

“Of course.” Sana nodded. “They should be in bed.”

“I know Sana,” Mina laughed. “Bedtime is eight on weekdays, eight thirty on weekends.”

“What? My bedtime is nine.” Sana giggled. 

“That’s why they never go to bed at eight!” Sana and Mina both erupted in giggles. 

“I missed this,” Sana remarked. “It’s good we’re friends again.” 

“Yeah, thank you for accepting me as your friend again. After all I’ve done god knows I don’t deserve your friendship.” Mina sighed, taking a long sip of her tea.

“This hating each other was getting too painful for both of us.” Sana smiled. “This is good for us, and for the kids.” 

“Yeah, this is good for us.”


	11. dear sana (samo, part one)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you all wished this upon yourselves

“Up we go!” Momo smiled as she stopped her daughter up in a huge hug. 

“Up!” Nico cheered as Momo lifted her up. 

“Where to now princess?” Momo asked. 

“Food!” Nico smiled. 

“Food?” Momo asked with a smile. “Food it is!” Nico giggled as Momo started running in the direction of their house. It wasn’t a far run, the park was only about a block away, but it was hot and Momo was sweaty by the time they got to their house. She let Nico get down and open their front gate, Nico humming the theme song to her favorite show, causing Momo to join in. Once they got to their door Momo dug her keys out of her pocket and opened the door, Nico fiddling with her shoes before throwing them off to the side. 

“Mommy! We’re home!” Nico called before running inside to the living room. Momo smiled and looked up at the framed photo of Sana on the cabinet by their entryway. 

“Hi Sana, we’re home.” Momo held the picture in her hand. She used to not be able to do this without crying, but it had been six months. Momo could do this. 

“Mama! Magi girl!” Nico brought Momo out of her thoughts and Momo set the picture down to turn the tv on for Nico and starting dinner. Instant ramen wasn’t healthy, but they had eaten all their store bought healthy meals and Momo hadn’t had time to go to the store again yet. Nico liked ramen, and Momo was making them eggs to put into it to give it some kind of nutritional value. Nico was singing along loudly to the theme song, Momo giggling under her breath as she quickly prepared the ramen. After putting the eggs on top, Momo put the food on the table before going to the living room to scoop up her daughter. She paused the tv and carried Nico into the kitchen to put her down in her seat.

“Ramen!” Nico’s eyes twinkled. “Mommy loves ramen.” 

“Mommy does love ramen baby.” Momo swallowed painfully. “I miss mommy.” Nico sighed, before picking up her fork and starting to messily eat ramen. 

“I miss mommy too.” Momo sighed under her breath. They didn’t say anything after that, but Momo giggled at her daughter’s silliness when Nico looked up at her, face covered in ramen broth. 

“Mama are you gonna watch Magi girl with me?” Nico asked after they finished. 

“Of course baby, but Mama has to put the dishes up first.” Momo told Nico, only for Nico to jump off her seat and pick up her own dish, balancing it in her arms and carrying it to the sink. She got on her tip-toes to try and get it into the sink, Momo nodding and picking Nico up so she could put her dishes up. 

“Thank you helping baby.” Momo smiled at her daughter. 

“I can help more!” Nico smiled. 

“Oh yeah?” Momo asked, Nico nodding. “Well thank you sweetheart.” 

“Magi girl?” Nico asked hopefully. 

“Go ahead, Mama will be there in a second.” Momo put her four year old down and Nico ran to the living room. Momo cleaned the bowls and then went to her bedroom, grabbing a notebook and a pen before going back to where her daughter was. Nico had a stuffed panda with her on the couch, watching the tv with wide eyes. Momo came up behind her and settled Nico in her lap, kissing her forehead before opening her notebook. 

xx

_Dear Sana, _

_It’s been almost six months now. We had instant ramen for dinner tonight. I know you would be mad for me feeding Nico unhealthy things, but it’s hard to make real food without you. We went to the park today, Nico and I played on the playground, she went down the slide backwards and jumped off the swing, and I bought Nico ice cream. Tomorrow we have work and school, and I’ll be thinking of you while trying not to die from boredom. Nico said she missed you today. I miss you too. It hasn’t gotten any easier yet, but we will come visit you soon._

_ I love you, _  
_ Momo  _

xx

“Auntie Nayeonie! Nico giggled as she ran towards her kindergarten teacher. 

“Hey kiddo!” Nayeon smiled and hugged Nico with one arm. “But we’ve talked about this, at school you call me Teacher.”

“Hey Nayeon.” Momo gave Nayeon a small smile. It used to be wider, but Nayeon understood why Momo’s smile wasn’t as bright as it used to be. 

“Hi Momo. How was your weekend?”

“It was good, we went to the park, what did you do?”

“I had a date on Saturday with Jeongyeon, we got a babysitter, it was nice we went to the beach.” Nayeon smiled. “Nico-ya why don’t you go inside while I talk to your Mama?” Nico nodded and ran inside her classroom. “How are you doing?” Nayeon asked. 

“We’re, getting by.” Momo was not a good liar. “We’re probably going to visit Sana this weekend.”

“Do you need me to come with you? I can give you some private time with her.” Nayeon offered. 

“If your not too busy that would be very helpful.” Momo nodded. 

“Of course,” Nayeon nodded. “Don’t overwork yourself okay?” 

“Yeah, I won’t.” Momo smiled at Nayeon’s care towards her. 

“Good, now get to work.” Nayeon smiled and ruffled Momo’s hair like she was a child. 

“Yes ma’am.” 

xx

“Momo, boss woman asked me to ask you, did you finish this quarters fiscal report?” Chaeyoung popped her head in Momo’s office. 

“Not yet,” Momo nodded. “I’m almost finished though, if you wait about fifteen minutes you can go back with happy news and not get in trouble.” Chaeyoung nodded and took a seat at the chair across from Momo’s desk, busying herself toying with the trinkets on Momo’s desk. 

“Is this your wife?” Chaeyoung asked picking up a photo of Sana from their wedding day, Momo simply nodded at the young intern. “She’s pretty.” 

“Thank you, I think so too.” Momo informed without looking up from her computer. Momo’s fingers stopped briefly, but she didn’t let herself get distracted. 

“Oh you have a daughter too?”

“Yup, she looks like my wife doesn’t she?” Momo giggled. 

“She does, she’s cute, how old is she?”

“She just turned four.” Momo smiled. “I’ll go print this real quick and we’ll be done here.” Chaeyoung nodded, playing with the rubber band ball Momo had on her desk like a child. Chaeyoung was a good kid, Momo liked her. She was still a college kid, and Momo had seen her with her girlfriend. They were so young and in love, Momo was almost envious of them.

xx

_ Dear Sana,  _

_ I feel bad I can’t make better food for Nico. I’m not a good cook, especially compared to you. But I suppose you wanted to become a chef in high school, so I have a disadvantage when it comes to experience. We’re coming to see you tomorrow. Nayeon is coming too, to watch Nico so we can have a bit of time alone together. I look forward to seeing you. I miss you more and more every single day. Even though I think it’s impossible to miss someone as much as I miss you. We had a long day, Nico tripped on her shoe today and I had to bust out the princess bandaids you always carried. She was really upset, and it was hard for me to calm her down. You were always better at it. She fell asleep on the couch again today after watching a magi girl marathon. She likes sleeping in our bed now, she specifically likes sleeping in your spot. She says it still smells like you, and I swear I’ve been washing the sheets. We miss you.  _

_I love you,_  
_Momo_

xx

“Mama I want to look pretty for Mommy.” Nico insisted. 

“You do?” Momo asked with a smile. 

“Yes.” Nico nodded. “I want my princess dress.” Momo nodded and tried to find Nico’s yellow imitation Belle dress only to realize it was in the pile of laundry to be washed. 

“I’m sorry kiddo, it needs to be cleaned. But you can wear your pretty pink dress.” Nico pouted, but didn’t protest when Momo helped her put the pink dress on. Momo pulled Nico’s hair into twin pigtails, braiding them before focusing on herself. She wanted to look pretty for Sana too. Momo got out Sana’s favorite of her blouses and wore Sana’s favorite of her jeans. Sana’s makeup sat still organized on Sana’s half of their vanity. Her perfume bottle still half full, her mascara likely expired. Sometimes, when Momo felt terrible, she would smell Sana’s perfume. Nico liked the smell of it to. For the two of them it represented Sana, her comfort, her personality. But Momo wouldn’t dare touch Sana’s perfume bottle. She preserved all of Sana’s things, all of them still sitting in their places Sana had left them.

Momo quickly got herself ready before going downstairs to find Nico watching TV. 

“Come on baby, let’s go see mommy.” Nico nodded and grabbed her stuffed bunny and joined Momo, holding her hand as Momo led them to the car. She was quiet as Momo buckled her into her car seat, and played with her bunny while Momo drove. This route was becoming eerily familiar. Momo wasn’t sure how she felt about it. The first time they took this route was the day Nico was born, having used a doctor in a different location. Momo’s remembers Sana being in a lot of pain, pretending she was fine while nearly breaking Momo’s hand. By the time the arrived, Sana was just about ready to kill Momo. She had been having contractions through the whole day and even partially the night before, but the moment they arrived Sana had reached a point of indescribable pain. Momo had been gentle with her trough the whole ordeal, exhausted from the late hour in the night but not letting it get to her. 

They had gone home the next day. The next time they took the route was to go get their newborn and bring her home. It was an emotional day, but it was a day where they were once again how much they loved each other. The next time they took this route was the night Momo found out about Sana. It was late at night and rainy and Momo had to use all her strength to not let her tears affect her driving. Nico was asleep, unaware of the life changing event their family was going through. They had used it two times since, to visit Sana. Momo would spend days at Sana’s side, Nayeon taking Nico with her to school and back to Sana’s room and then to Mina’s for he night. 

Momo hated this route, but Nico was being cute in the back seat so it made things a bit more bearable. Once they got there Momo took her daughter’s hand and lead her to Mina’s office. 

“Auntie Mina!” Nico smiled when she saw Mina. “Hey Nic, have you been good for your Mama?” Mina put one hand on Nico’s back to hug her. 

“I have.” Nico nodded. 

“Good girl.” Mina smiled at the little girl. “Hi Momo.” Mina greeted as Momo stood in her office doorway.

“Hi Mina.” Momo nods. “How is she?” Mina let out a loud sigh. 

“I wish I could tell you something else, but there’s been no change.” Mina sighed, entertaining the child hanging off her leg by giving her a piece of candy from her pocket. 

“You ready to see mommy Nico?” Momo asked her daughter. 

“Is mommy still sleeping?” Nico asked, clinging tightly to Mina’s leg. Momo’s brain briefly froze, but she pulled herself together enough to address her daughter. 

“Yeah baby, she is.” Momo let out a long sigh. “But you can still talk to her.”

“Talking to her might help her wake up.” Mina told Nico. “Go on, I’ll come check on her with you in a second.” 

“Okay,” Nico released Mina’s leg and held Momo’s hand. Momo lead her out of Mina’s office and to the room down the hall. 

“2-2-4-0.” Nico read off the number tentatively.

“Good job baby.” Momo patted her daughter’s head. “Mommy’s room is 2240.” 

“2240!” Nico giggled as Momo opened the door. “Mommy!” Nico ran to the bed, bunny in tow as she hoped onto the bottom corner of the hospital bed. 

“Hi Satang.” Momo whispered. “Mommy look today I brought Mister Usagi!” Nico smiled with a huge smile. “Mama said you got it for my birthday and you told her before you went to sleep.” Nico climbed all the way up Sana’s bed and gripped her cheeks. 

“Nico honey give mommy a bit of space.” Momo giggled, adjusting Sana’s blanket though it needed no adjustment. Nico’s face fell as she scooted away from Sana and she was quickly on the verge of tears. 

“I miss you mommy.” Nico whispered, tears slipping down her cheeks. “Wake up please mommy.” 

“Nico,” Momo whispered. “Come here, don’t cry.” Nico nodded and climbed into Momo’s arms, burying her face into Momo’s jacket. They stayed silent as Nico calmed down, interrupted by a knock on the door. 

“Hey guys,” Nayeon smiled as she peeked into the room. 

“Hi Nayeon, Nico is having a bit of a moment.” 

“I want mommy back.” Nico sobbed, going from silently crying to outright sobs. It hurt Nayeon, but it hurt Momo more. Momo herself was about to breakdown. Sana may technically still be alive, but this was almost worst than her being dead. Momo used to get her hopes up everyday, but lately it had started getting further and further apart that she would have hope. She didn’t want Sana to die, it would break her more to see the love of her life getting buried. Nayeon tapped her shoulder and Momo let her best friend take her daughter so she could sit down at Sana’s side and hold her hand. 

“Nico let’s take a little bit of time away, Mommy wouldn’t like to see you crying.” Nayeon whispered to her niece. Nico nodded and Nayeon made eye contact with Momo. 

“We’ll be back Sana, it was nice seeing you.” Nayeon told the sleeping woman and left with the crying child. 

“Hi Sana,” Momo let her tears fall onto Sana’s cold hand. Sana looked so pale now, so small. Her muscles were getting stretched and moved every day so they wouldn’t become stiff or clout but Sana just looked so weak. Momo couldn’t help crying. “As you could hear it’s getting harder and harder for us without you.” Momo sighed. “I’m wearing your favorite outfit. Also, I wrote you some more letters. I’ll read them for you.” Momo hated the following silence. It was so unlike Sana, she was so energetic, full of life. And now, now she was just silent. Momo took a brief pause to examine Sana’s face. At least that was unchanged. 

Momo read Sana a letter and half of another when Nayeon brought Nico back with Mina in tow. 

“Auntie Nayeon told me you don’t like it when I cry mommy so I won’t cry see?” Nico wiped her tears.

“Nico’s being a very good girl, she helped me with the dishes.” Momo lifted her daughter into her lap, one hand still intertwined with Sana’s. 

“I did!” Nico smiled.

“That’s right, you did so good.” Momo ruffled her little one’s hair as Mina went to Sana’s other side to check in on her. 

“Has Mina been treating you well?” Momo asked Sana, not expecting any kind of answer, but she knew Sana would have enjoyed the question. 

“I have been treating her great,” Mina argued, going about her duties carefully. 

“I know you have.” Momo smiled at Mina. 

“Hey Nico, now that we saw mommy let’s go on a little walk do Mama can have some alone time with mommy.” Nico nodded and left Momo’s lap for Nayeon’s hand. Nayeon lead her out of the room, leaving Mina with Momo. 

“How are you doing?” Mina asked.

“I’m becoming a bit tired of that question Mitang.” Momo let out a big sigh, massaging her temples. Momo always got headaches when she cried, but Sana was happy to massage her temples for her. Momo almost started crying again. 

“Sorry, we’re worried about you.” Mina nodded. “Jihyo wanted to invite you two over for dinner soon.” 

“Sure, we’re free this week at dinner time, just text me the day.” Momo nodded. “I miss Jihyo.” 

“She misses you too.” Mina smiled. “She’s also your hookup with elementary school teachers.” 

“Your right, she is.” Momo smiled slightly. “We have Nayeon in Kindergarten, Jihyo in elementary, and Jeongyeon in high school, my daughter is set for most of her schooling life.” 

“Your right, she is.” Mina smiled. “Jihyo’s worried about you though.” 

“I’m sure she is. She always worries.” Momo nodded. 

“I’m worried about you too. You look like you’ve lost weight.” Mina nodded. “Jihyo and I can start coming over more again if you need. We can even take Nico off your hands if you want.” 

“It’s okay. We’re doing fine.” Momo nodded. “I promise. It isn’t like a few months ago.” 

“Okay, but we still have Nico’s room set up if you need to leave her with us for a bit again. Your mental health is important too.” Mina sighed. “I’ll give you some alone time with Sana. Bye Sana, see you tonight.” Mina nodded at her comatose patient.

“It’s just us again.” Momo muttered once Mina was gone. “I-I still can’t believe it’s been six months now. I’m sorry I wasn’t stronger when it first happened, it’s just, the days after the accident I-I was so sad. Loosing you did that to me. It still does. Nico has suffered so much, and it’s all my fault. I should have picked you up that day. I was trying to surprise you with dinner.” Momo whispered. “I’m so sorry.” Momo kissed Sana’s knuckle, letting herself cry for a second. She held Sana’s hand tight, only vaguely afraid it may break. After a few minutes of sobbing, Momo pulled her notebook out and resumed her task of reading Sana her small daily letters. 

xx

“Bye bye mommy, I love you and miss you.” Nico kissed Sana’s cheek from Nayeon’s arms. She had her bunny still clasped tight in one hand and a chocolate bar Nayeon had bought her for being a good girl in the other. Momo waited until Nico was done to lean in and place a long kiss on Sana’s forehead. She wanted to kiss her lips, but the breathing mask made things difficult. Momo couldn’t wait to kiss Sana again. 

“Bye my love, I’ll continue writing letters for you. I love you. ” Momo whispered. “Well, shall we?” Momo lead as the trio left the room and Nico yawned in Nayeon’s arms. 

“Are you sleepy?” Nayeon asked her niece. Nico nodded. 

“I think it’s bed time Mama.” Nayeon informed Momo. 

“Is it that late?” Momo checked her watch Sana had gotten her for her birthday two years ago. “Huh I guess it is. Come on Nico, say bye bye to Auntie Nayeonie.”

“Bye bye Auntie Nayeonie.” Nico yawned as Nayeon put her down so she could hold Momo’s hand. 

“Bye bye Nico-ya, I’ll see you in school on Monday okay?” Nayeon ruffled Nico’s hair and pulled Momo into a long hug. “Your doing so great.” Nayeon whispered into Momo’s ear. 

“Thanks Unnie.” Momo sighed into Nayeon’s hug. Nayeon smiled and waved as she left, Momo taking Nico to Mina’s office to say goodbye. 

“Bye bye Auntie Mina.” Nico waved to her Aunt who was at her desk. 

“Bye Nico-chan.” Mina gave Nico a big smile. “Momo, if it helps, we all miss her.” 

“I know.” Momo sighed. “Bye Mina. Text me.” 

“Of course.” Mina nodded. “Be a good girl okay Nico? I’ll tell mommy if your not.” 

“Okay.” Nico nodded and yawned again. 

“Come on sweetheart, let’s get you to bed.” Momo picked up her daughter and Nico cuddled her stuffed bunny and Momo’s shoulder. Momo loved that bunny. It was one of the last things Sana had left them. She was happy Nico was getting so much use out of it. 

Nico fell asleep in her car seat. Momo changed her while she was sleeping and went to her own bed downstairs. It was so big, so empty. Momo hugged Sana’s pillow, getting it a bit wet from tears as she cried before falling asleep to a sweet dream of her Sana. If only it was real. 

xx

_ Dear Sana, _

_You looked beautiful today. We went and visited you. Your so pale now. So tiny. I want to give you a hug and a kiss. Nico got really upset over you today. She misses you so much baby. It hurts me to watch. We both miss you though. It hasn’t gotten any easier yet, but I’ve gotten a lot better mentally. Nayeon bought our baby chocolate, she’s going to have a field day with that, I hope she doesn’t get too much of a sugar high. _

_ I love you, _   
_ Momo  _

xx 

“Hi Momo Unnie!” Chaeyoung was so peppy in the morning, Momo attributed it to the touch of youth and the large amounts of caffeine likely running though Chaeyoung system. “You look upset.” Momo hoped her eyes weren’t too puffy. 

“It’s nothing.” Momo tried to change the subject. 

“What? Have a fight with your wife?” 

“No, god no. She just has been away for a while and I miss her a bit.” Momo shrugged. “Don’t you have a report due in a few hours?” 

“Shit! Catch up later! Feel better!” Chaeyoung gave a smile as she ran off. Momo nodded. Chaeyoung was a good person, but was so innocent. 

xx 

Chaeyoung started sitting with her at lunch time. She didn’t know why, but over the last few days Chaeyoung had loved the solitude of Momo’s office. 

“So, your wife away on business?” Chaeyoung asked, between bites of fast food. 

“Something like that. It’s been hard on all of us, especially my daughter.” Momo nodded. “How’s your girlfriend?” 

“Tzuyu? She’s good.” Chaeyoung nodded. “She’s picking me up today.” 

“You two are cute.” Momo giggled. “Sana and I used to pick each other up from work when we were your age.” 

“Your talking like your twenty years older than me. 

“Chaeyoung I’m 29.” Momo nodded with a laugh. 

“And? I’m 22.” Chaeyoung shrugged. 

“How’s college going?” 

“I want to kill myself sometimes.” Chaeyoung giggled to herself, not really being serious. “But Tzuyu always makes me stop studying when I get too far into my work. She has a job at the local pet shelter. She’s studying to be a vet.” 

“Oh my daughter loves the pet shelter. She wants a kitten.” Momo laughed. 

“If you ever feel like being the cool mom I always wanted and buying her a kitten I’m sure Tzuyu can hook you up.” Chaeyoung mentioned. 

“What? Your mom not let you have a kitten?” 

“My sister was afraid of animals, still is at 25 actually.” Chaeyoung nodded. “She just bought a dog to get over her anxiety.” 

“Well that’s one way of getting over your fear.” Momo laughed again. “My little one is scared of big dogs but in her defense they are bigger than her.” Momo sighed. 

“Your daughter sounds so cute.” Chaeyoung giggled. 

“She has her moments of destructive monster.” Momo laughed. She had found a good friend in Chaeyoung, though the age gap was quiet a bit Chaeyoung didn’t know about Sana, and therefore didn’t pity her. Momo appreciated the things her friends did for her, but it was exhausting. A few weeks into Sana’s coma Momo was rough. She wasn’t sleeping, she was depressed, snappy. It got to a point she was unintentionally hurting Nico. She hated herself for acting like that, but she just wasn’t strong enough to be a good enough parent when the love of her life was like Sana was. Mina and Jihyo took Nico during that time. Momo had consented, but it was a painful time for both of them. But since then, Momo friends were beyond worried about her and Nico. 

xx 

_Dear Sana,_

_How are you today? Nico and I had bento boxes from the sushi place down the road you love so much. You let her become such a picky eater. We went to a fireworks show at the park tonight after dinner. Nico is still afraid of fireworks, but I suppose the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree on that one. We used your picnic blanket, the yellow one with lemons you love so much, I hope you don’t mind. I had lunch with Chaeyoung again. Her girlfriends name is Tzuyu and she works at the pet shelter. Nico still is asking for a kitten. She’s been doing that since she was two. I’m going to crack soon babe, she’s too cute I can’t stand it. I know your against a pet because you spent so much on our carpet but Nico needs a friend. She misses you so much everyday. I can’t blame her though. I miss you too. I put a picture of you in the walkway of our house, I don’t know if I’ve told you about it but it was meant to comfort Nico and I. Don’t worry, it’s a good picture, it’s the one I took of you in the park when we went on our fifth date. Also don’t be surprised if when you come home we have a pet you know my self control is weak. Come home soon please. I can’t stand being away from you for this long._

_I love you,_  
_Momo_


	12. dear sana (samo, part two)

“Auntie Jihyo!” Nico was more than happy to be back in Mina and Jihyo’s apartment. Jihyo smiled and dropped everything for her favorite niece. 

“Hi Nico.” Jihyo smiled, tucking Nico’s loose hair behind her ear. “I missed you my little troublemaker.”

“Well Nico clearly doesn’t have a favorite.” Mina giggled as she left Momo inside. 

“Oh clearly.” Momo rolled her eyes. “It’s between Jihyo and Nayeon though. Nayeon is her teacher now, Jihyo’s not the instant favorite like she used to be.” 

“Hm well I guess Jihyo will have to step up her efforts then.” Mina shrugged. “And I guess that means us bringing you guys dinner more.” 

“Mina I appreciate the thought but we get by, instant meals have gotten a lot healthier.” Momo nodded. 

“Nico likes my cooking though, and argue all you want but at least I can make Nico custom meals with bell peppers sprinkled in so she’ll actually eat them and not spit them out.” Mina accused. 

“Did Nayeon tell you that story?” Momo laughed. 

“She did, I understand I’m not a huge fan of them either.” Mina nodded. “Young kids have sensitive tongues, spicy foods like peppers can be shocking to some kids mouths.” Mina explained. “No bell peppers tonight though.” 

“Good, she can spot them in anything now.” Momo giggled as she watched Jihyo safely swung her daughter around the living room. 

“She’s a smart girl.” Mina smiled proudly. “Want to help me set up the table?” Momo nodded and joined Mina in the kitchen. 

“Jihyo! Nico! Dinner!” Momo called once the table was set up. 

“I want to sit with Auntie Jihyo.” Nico insisted.

“Oh Nico let’s not bother-”

“Come here kiddo you can tell Auntie everything you’ve done since I saw you last.” Jihyo picked up Nico and put her on her lap, letting the kid talk herself to death and interjecting to keep Nico happy. 

“She’s great with kids.” Momo whispered to Mina. 

“She works with them all day.” Mina shrugged. “Jihyo’s trying to argue for first graders again.” 

“Hopefully she can be Nico’s teacher. Having Nayeon to keep an eye on her is helpful.” Momo nodded. “It’s funny, your the younger ones but your the ones that are better at cooking.” 

“Oh Sana could out-cook me any day, I’m just her little cousin who looks up to her.” Mina smiled at the memory of Sana. 

“Yeah, she loves you a lot though Mina.” Momo smiled.

“I’m happy she does. She was like the older sister I never had.” Mina finished. “Also, Nico should stay the night. We still have her pajamas from when she was staying with us.” 

“Oh I wouldn’t want to be a burden-”

“Nonsense, we’re family Momo. Jihyo and I mis our favorite kid, and you deserve sometime away from her.” Mina smiled. 

“Okay but I’ll stay until bedtime.” Momo nodded. “She also likes to get into bed with me now so if that happens you can just put her back in her own bed.” 

“Nah, she used to squeeze herself between me and Jihyo at night. She’s a good cuddle buddy.” Mina replied. “She will be fine with us, we know how to get her to bed, you should go home, take a long bath and relax a bit. Sana would want you to go.”

“Sana wouldn’t let our baby out of her sight for five minutes.” Momo laughed. “She’s pretty protective.” 

“Your right, she is.” Mina laughed too. “But I’m sure she would understand you needing some time to yourself. Maybe you will even drink some alcohol tonight.” 

“Ha, we don’t have any in the house.” Momo nodded. “I might take you up on that though.”

“We have some left over champagne from when we went to Jihyo’s sister’s graduation party. It would actually be helpful if you took it off our hands.” Mina explained. “We got this Momo, take the champagne and have a night to yourself, Nico will be fine tonight.” Momo briefly looked up at her daughter. It was the first time in months Momo was spending a night away from her daughter, but Mina was right. She did want to take a bubble bath with Sana’s favorite bubble bath and alcohol.

“Okay. Let me just say goodbye real quick.” Momo took her daughter back to inform her of the nightly plan and Nico had this huge smile and smiled when she learned she got to have a sleepover at her Auntie Jihyo and Auntie Mina’s house.

Once Momo gets home, the champagne bottle Mina had given her in one hand and a bag full of food containers Mina had cooked for her in the other, she made a fast beeline for the bathroom, starting her bubble bath while she poured the champagne. The smell of the bubble bath solution almost made Momo cry. Whenever Sana had a bad day at work she would always insist her and Momo took a bath with this scent and they would cuddle and make out once Nico was safely asleep. Momo missed taking a bath with her love, but Sana was right, the scent was calming. 

xx

_Dear Sana,_

_Nico is spending the night with Mina and Jihyo. She was so excited when I told her, she loves them, especially Jihyo. We had dinner with them tonight, Mina misses you a lot. You were right, she’s a good kid. She sent me home with food so we won’t only have instant food this week. I used your bubble bath tonight, not cause I had a bad day or anything, I just missed you. Mina gave me some champagne, but it’s the first time I’ve had alcohol in months. I forgot how good it is. But I promise, I’m not using it for comfort again. Thank god our friends stepped in a few months ago, they were right it was getting dangerous. I was just so sad when you first left us. The first weeks were the hardest. We have good friends. They do so much for me, lord knows I’m such a wreck without you. It’s weird being home alone. I haven’t been home alone since before Nico was born. The house feels bigger. The bed feels bigger, though it has felt that way for the past few months. I miss your cuddles, and kisses. I regret ever pushing you away. I want my kiss monster back._

_I love you,_   
_Momo_

xx

“So what are you doing after work?” Chaeyoung asks over a lunch session. 

“Nico is going to her friends house, so I’m actually probably going to work overtime today.” Momo answered, taking a bite of some of the food Jihyo had brought to her house last night.

“Lame it’s Friday night.” Chaeyoung voiced, eating a bit of her sandwich.

“I have a family,” Momo shrugged. “I have to pick my daughter up at seven thirty and if I don’t work overtime I get off at four thirty, so there’s not real point in trying to go anywhere besides home or work.” 

“Maybe you should go get that kitten for your daughter.” 

“My wife would have my head.” Momo laughed. “Though I suppose it’s a better idea than getting her a puppy, my wife is a cat person.”

“See? She would love it!” Chaeyoung argued. “You said your daughter is struggling a bit with your wife being gone, a kitten is a perfect friend and distraction for her.” 

“Her birthday already passed a while ago, and as far as I know it’s not a holiday. I can’t just buy her a present for no reason.” Momo reasoned. 

“Well? Why not?” Chaeyoung shrugged. “Gifts just show you care, and you care about her right?”

“Well of course, I’ll think about it.” Momo shrugged. “But if we were to get a cat-” Momo was interrupted by her phone ringing. Momo apologized quickly to Chaeyoung before picking up her phone. 

“Hi Momo.” Nayeon greeted her on the other side. “I know your at work, and I’m sorry, but Nico got into a little bit of a fight.” 

“God I’m on my way is she okay?”

“She’s, pouting.” Nayeon answered. “Again I’m so sorry but school policy is to have the parents of both kids come in.” 

“I know, I’ll be there in a bit.” Momo sighed. “Sorry to cut lunch short Chaeyoung, I have to go.” 

xx

Momo wasn’t mad. She really wasn’t. She’s sure other parents would be but she didn’t even know what happened, and Nico was never much of an aggressive kid. Momo was surprised to find Nico with a jacket covering her face curled in a little ball on the floor while Nayeon sat next to her. A woman and her son standing next to them. 

“Hi Momo.” Nayeon sighed. “Nico and Doyoung here got into a small argument and-”

“She scratched me!” The little boy argued. 

“Did not!” Nico yelled, muffled from the jacket wrapped around her face. 

“I saw it, it was an accident, Doyoung slightly pushed Nico and she scratched him as she fell. They were arguing about markers.” 

“Nico stole Sooyoung and Yerim’s markers!” The boy explained. 

“No I didn’t!!” Nico answered. 

“Enough,” The boy’s mother interrupted. “Doyoung say your sorry.” 

“But-”

“Doyoung.” The boy pouted and stood in front of Nico. 

“I’m sorry Nico.” The boy apologized. 

“Nico can you say your sorry back?” Momo asked her daughter. 

“No!” Nico screamed, kicking her legs around. “No!” Momo sighed. 

“I’m sorry for her, is it okay if she says sorry tomorrow?” Momo asked the boy and his mother. 

“That would be fine.” The boy's mother nodded. “Doyoung, go back outside and play with the other kids, I’ll be back to pick you up later.” 

“Okay fine.” The boy pouted and ran out of the classrooms. 

“Nico-chan, what’s wrong?” Momo put one hand on Nico’s back. 

“No!” Nico screamed. 

“She’s been like this for the last twenty minutes.” Nayeon nodded. 

“I’m going to take her home okay? She has her moments but she’ll be fine with some alone time in time out.” Momo explained. 

“Feel better Nico. I’ll tell Haeun Nico had to go home so they can’t play.” Nayeon nodded. 

“Thank you Unnie.” Momo nodded. 

“Of course, I’m so sorry about this.” Nayeon sighed. 

“Don’t worry, she’ll be okay.” Momo nodded. “Nico-chan, come here.” Momo picked up the lump of her daughter and carried her to the car. They stayed silent the whole way home, Momo peaking back to see Nico still buried her jacket. Momo carried Nico up to her room, putting her on her bed. 

“Nico-chan, we’re alone now. It’s just you and mama.” Momo told Nico in Japanese, so it was clear it was just them. “Why don’t you come out so we can talk about it?” Nico slowly took her jacket off her face and looked at Momo. “Hi Nico, why don’t you tell Mama why your so upset.” 

“I’m not a thief.” Nico’s voice was a little hoarse. “They gave their markers I was gonna give them back.” 

“I know you were baby.” 

“But Doyoung called me a thief and I’m not a thief. Thieves are bad girls and I can’t be a bad girl.” Nico explained. “Am I bad girl?” 

“Of course your not honey. You do lots of good things. You make Mama happy, and listen well and your smart and kind. Why are you worried your a bad girl?” 

"Cause then mommy will never wake up.” Momo froze for a second and Nico started crying. 

“Nico, mommy, she’s really hurt baby. Her brain and her lungs were hurt. And she needs to rest so she can be better. And yes mommy would want you to be a good girl and stay out of trouble but that won’t help mommy heal any faster.” Momo was torn between sugar coating everything to protect Nico’s innocent and telling her the truth. “Mommy loves you and she wants to see you and I again. She just has to get better first.” 

“Promise?” 

“I swear honey. Mommy misses you too.” Momo reassured. “How about we watch some Magi girl and you can say sorry to Doyoung tomorrow.” 

“Okay.” Nico nodded. 

“Come here honey.” Momo opened her arms for Nico to climb into, Nico happily climbing into them. Nico held tight onto Momo while they watched tv.

xx

_Dear Sana,_

 

_Guess who got into trouble today? She really wasn’t doing anything wrong I promise. She had borrowed markers and another kid accused her of being a thief and that made her really sad and defensive so she shut down and put her jacket over her face and refused to come out. She wasn’t in any real trouble, but Nayeon unnie still wanted me to come and have her talk it out. Nico really wasn’t happy though so I took her home and she told me what was wrong. She thinks if she’s a good girl you’ll wake up sooner. I don’t know who told her that, bit the poor thing was so upset at the prospect of being a bad girl. We talked about it though, she’s okay now I think. We spent the whole night watching Magi girl, and we ate Jajangmyeon. She asleep on top of me now, I should move her to bed but I’m worried she’ll wake up. She’s been such a good girl since the accident. She hasn’t gotten into real trouble once, maybe she was only acting like a little trouble maker with you because she was messing with you, or maybe the accident made her so much more mature. Either way, I sort of miss my little bath escaping getting marker everywhere kid. She’s so respectful now. It’s such a change, and it happened so fast. But I guess that’s what happens with kids, but I’m trying my best to take photos and videos for you. So when you wake up you’ll be able to experience everything you missed. Please come back. Please._

_I love you,_   
_Momo_

xx

It had started raining in the afternoon, and from the look of the clouds it was likely it was going to develop into a thunderstorm. Momo was anxious of that happening, not for her but for her daughter, who had her wife’s fear of thunder storms. 

And she was scared for her wife. Sure, Sana was comatose, but Momo had promised her she would never let Sana go through another thunder storm alone. 

As Momo drove home, Nico in the back humming the Magi girl theme song and playing with her bunny, Momo looked at the sky. Sure Mina didn’t like it when she showed up without any kind of warning, but she had promised Sana. And she wasn’t one to break a promise to Sana. Momo drove past their house. Consequences be damned she made a promise. Once they arrived, the rain was coming down harder. 

“Mama are we seeing Mommy today?” Nico asked excitedly. 

“Yup, we’re going to be with mommy because there’s a thunder storm coming and we don’t want her to be scared.” Momo told her daughter, taking Nico’s hand and leading her into the hospital. “Mina.” Momo knocked on Mina’s door. 

“Momo?” Mina opened the door for her. “What are you doing here I was about to go home?” 

“Sorry to bother you, there’s a thunder storm coming and I want to stay with Sana until it’s okay.” Momo told Mina. Mina sighed, a small smile as she nodded. 

“Okay, come here Nico-chan. Let’s have another sleep over.” Nico ran to Mina’s leg. 

“You don’t-”

“If you will be here all night Nico needs to have a bed to sleep on and some dinner. I’ll text Jihyo and you can help Sana. She would be happy to know you stayed with her during a storm.” Mina couldn’t fight her smile. She was genuinely touched by Momo, knowing her cousin was afraid of thunder storms. 

“You know Nico is afraid too-”

“Yup, we’ve been through a thunderstorm together,” Mina put her hand on Nico’s back before bending down to pick her up. “Do you want to say hi to mommy?” Mina asked Nico. 

“I made mommy a present.” Nico nodded. “Auntie Nayeon said it’s called a better card and it’s supposed to make mommy better.” 

“Get well card that’s going to encourage mommy to get better card.” Momo corrected. “She spent a lot of time on it in class today.” Nico nodded proudly.

“Yup Auntie Nayeon said-” Nico was interrupted by a loud clap of thunder and she squeaked and hugged Mina. 

“It’s okay Nico-chan, let’s go give mommy her card okay?” Nico nodded at Mina’s question. They went into Sana’s room, which was across the hall from Mina’s office. Nico leaned down from Mina’s arms and put her card next to Sana’s face, giving Sana a kiss on the cheek before going back to hugging Mina’s neck. “Say bye bye to mommy Nico,” Mina informed the little girl. 

“Bye bye mommy.” Nico whispered. “I love you, and miss you.” Nico was met with silence as she hurried her face into Mina’s shoulder. 

“Momo, we’re going to head out before it gets too bad.” Mina informed. 

“Here take my car, we can swap keys and I can take your car if I need to go somewhere, Nico’s car seat would be a pain to move in the rain.” Momo informed, handing Mina her car keys. “Oh and Mina, please be careful. The weather is similar to the day of the accident.” 

“I know,” Mina nodded. “It’s not too late at night yet, and it’s not very far. My office keys are on my keychain and I have some power bars in my desk if you get hungry. Please eat at some point.”

“I will.” Momo responded. “Goodnight baby girl.” Momo waved at her daughter. “I love you.” 

“I wanna say goodnight to mommy.” Mina nodded and put Nico down on Sana’s bed. 

“Goodnight mommy. I know your sleeping but it’s my sleepy time.” Nico yawned. “I love you.” Nico sighed when she was met with silence, going back to cuddling with Mina. 

“See you tomorrow Momo.” Mina waved. 

“Goodnight Mama, I love you.” Momo continued waving to her little girl as they left the room. 

“Hi Sana.” Momo sighed. “It’s going to rain today. I wanted to help you through it.” Momo whispered, stroking her wife’s hand. “That’s not to say I didn’t miss you. Nico has been skimping on her kisses lately. I don’t want to bring it up to her cause I don’t want her to get upset. She’s just, changing so much. I don’t like it. You probably wouldn’t either.” Momo looked into her wife’s face. “How have you been? Do you want me to read my letters to you again?” Momo grabbed her bag and got her notebook. Momo read the letters to Sana, kissing Sana’s hand when there was a loud clap of thunder. Momo fell asleep at Sana’s side, sitting upright in her chair, holding Sana's hand while the rain slowly died out. 

xx

“Mama!” Nico giggled as she came into Momo’s hospital room. Momo, who was still asleep, sleepily sat up at her daughter’s voice.

“Huh?” Momo blinked, eyes adjusting to the light. “Oh, morning baby.” Momo let go of Sana’s hand and looked at her still sleeping wife. 

“Was mommy good?” Nico asked as she climbed into Momo’s lap.

“She was,” Momo answered. “Were you?” 

“She was great,” Mina smiled from the doorframe, holding up a paper bag. “We brought you breakfast.” 

“Oh thanks,” Momo’s stomach grumbled right then. 

“Auntie Mina let me have a muffin.” Nico smiled as Mina put the bag on Momo’s lap. 

“I got you a muffin too, and a tea.” Mina set the sup on Sana’s bedside table. 

“Oh thanks Mina but you didn’t have to.”

“Shut up,” Mina nodded, a fond smile. “You need the caffeine, but Sana doesn’t trust you with coffee for a reason.” 

“Thank you,” Momo smiled. “Nico-chan let’s give Mama some space so she can eat.” Mina gestured for Nico to get off Momo’s lap, Nico climbing onto Sana’s bed instead. 

“Mommy I spent the night at Auntie Mina and Auntie Jihyo’s house again. The made me pasta!” Nico smiled. “And they cuddled me all night. Auntie Jihyo let’s me sleep on her tummy. And auntie Mina gives me kisses when she thinks I’m sleeping.” Nico giggled at Mina’s flushed face. “We also took Auntie Jihyo to work early.” 

“Kisses huh?” Momo teased Mina. Mina blushing at the teasing. “Sounds like you had fun kiddo.” 

“I did!” Nico smiled.

“Momo I brought you a change of clothes, it’s Jihyo’s but it should fit you. You need to leave soon if you hope to get Nico to school on time and get to work.” Mina smiled at Momo. 

“Okay, I’ll go change real quick if you want to check on Sana.” Momo nodded. “Nico give mommy some space Auntie Mina needs to check on her.” 

“Okay!” Nico hopped off Sana’s bed and watched as Momo left the room and Mina started to check Sana’s vitals. “Is mommy okay?”

“Yup, she’s the same as she was yesterday.” Mina answered. 

“Does that mean she will wake up soon?” Nico asked. Mina sighed and ruffled Nico’s hair. 

“Who knows sweetheart. Who knows.” 

xx

After dropping Nico off and narrowly making it to work on time Momo steals a mint from Chaeyoung and uses the hair brush Mina leant her to smooth over her messy hair in her office. She didn’t have a meeting today, which was good. But she still had to maintain some level of professionalism. During lunch Chaeyoung asks about it, how she’s never seen Momo’s clothes before and how the skirt was a little short because Jihyo was shorter than her. “I spent the night working, my friends watched my daughter and brought me a change of clothes.” Momo explained. 

“Really? Then where’s the work you spent all night on?” Chaeyoung asked, causing Momo to sigh. 

“Okay fine you caught me,” Momo laughed. “I spent a night talking with my wife.” 

“Oh, like a FaceTime?” Chaeyoung asked. 

“Yeah.” Momo shrugged, yawning. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask, what does your wife do for a living?” Chaeyoung asked. 

“She’s a lawyer.” 

“What type?” Chaeyoung followed up. 

“Civil prosecutor. She’s a good lawyer, won’t take up a case unless she knows the person she represents is in the right. Mainly deals in divorce cases and custody stuff.” Momo explained. “She also takes a lot of pro bono cases. She’s a really good person.” 

“Sounds like it, but why is a lawyer away for six months?” Momo paused, her brain coming up with any kind of excuse that wouldn’t make her sound sad. 

“It’s a family case. Her parents live in America and are going through civil case, and of course they wanted their amazing lawyer daughter to take their case.” That was a load of bs. But Momo was just lying through her teeth at this point to Chaeyoung. 

“Oh that makes sense.” Chaeyoung shrugged. “My sister’s a lawyer, she’s a criminal lawyer though.” 

“Oh, that’s cool. A close friend of my wife’s is a criminal lawyer. They became friends in an interesting way though.” Momo smiled fondly. 

“Well now I have to know the story.” Chaeyoung laughed. 

“A few years ago my wife took up a pro bono case of a college kid who was filing a protective order against her ex boyfriend’s parents, they had been harassing her for getting an abortion. We had actually just gotten married as a matter of fact. Sana fought for that case for a month, filing an appeal when she lost. She felt so attached to that poor kid. They ended up winning on appeal. Afterwards the kid told my wife she wanted to be a lawyer because she was so inspired by Sana. We attended her graduation three years ago, the kid breezed through law school, Sana got her a job at her law firm, and now they are close friends.” Momo smiled fondly at the story. “That’s the effect Sana has on people. She’s an inspiration.” 

“Dude, no way.” Not the reaction Momo was expecting. “I’m pretty sure that was my sister!” Chaeyoung exclaimed. 

“Really?” Momo asked in disbelief. “Dahyun is your sister?”

“Yes!” Chaeyoung smiled. “So your wife is the girl Dahyun always talked about! Dahyun did mention she was married.” 

“Dahyun is a good kid. I haven’t seen her in a while though how is she?”

“She’s great, that’s crazy though, small world.” Chaeyoung smiled. “Hey maybe I should text her and have her meet us for dinner after work. You can bring your daughter.” 

“That sounds wonderful.” Momo felt like she was forgetting something. 

xx

“Nico stay still.” 

“Auntie Dahyun! I haven’t seen Auntie Dahyun in so long!” Nico was practically bouncing in her seat. 

“Nice to know you missed her so much.” Momo smiled, settling her daughter in her chair and waving to Chaeyoung when she saw her at the entry to the restaurant. 

“Auntie Dahyun!” Nico instantly stood up and ran to Dahyun when she saw her. 

“Nico!” Dahyun smiled and picked up the kid. “It’s been forever kiddo.”

“Are you still fighting bad guys?” Nico asked. 

“Of course! I make sure bad guys go away when they do bad things.” Dahyun smiled at Nico.

“Wow!” Nico clapped her hands. Chaeyoung cleared her throat, a tall girl behind her. 

“Oh right Nico, this is my little sister Chaeyoung, and her girlfriend Tzuyu.” Dahyun introduced Nico. 

“I work with you Mom.” Chaeyoung explained. 

“Mama or mommy?” Nico asked. 

“Mama.” Dahyun answered for Chaeyoung, who was confused by the question. “And mama is waiting for us at our table.” Dahyun smiled and lead the group to where Momo was waiting at the table.

“Hi Dahyun.” Momo smiled at Dahyun. She would spend a lot of time with Momo and Sana in the early days of their marriage, both practically adopting the broke college kid. They would feed her, do her laundry for her, and pick her up if she spent a night partying. Sana even helped Dahyun study. She was like an older child in Momo’s mind.

“It’s been forever Momo Unnie.” Dahyun smiled. “I heard about Sana.” Dahyun’s smile fell a bit and Momo’s heart fell with it. 

“It’s- We’re doing fine.” Momo nodded. “I can help watch Nico if you need, you guys helped me so much it’s the least I can do.” Dahyun nodded. 

“It’s okay, Mina and Jihyo offered the same thing.” Momo laughed. 

“I’m sure they did.” Dahyun smiled fondly. “You still a picky eater Nico-chan?” 

“No!” Nico protested.

“Yes she is.” Momo nodded. 

“Your so big now. Oh I brought your birthday present, I know I missed it. I’m so sorry about that.” Dahyun apologized, using her free hand to dig something out of her pocket. “The big four, your so much older now.” 

“Thank you!” While Dahyun gave Nico her gift Momo introduced herself to Chaeyoung’s girlfriend and they took their seats, Nico staying on Dahyun’s lap while opening her birthday present. 

“So Tzuyu, you studying to be a vet?” Momo asked. 

“Yeah I am. Chaeyoung told me your thinking of getting a cat?” Tzuyu asked. 

“Shh, it’s going to be a surprise for her.” Momo pointed to her daughter, who was distracted with Dahyun’s complicated wrapping job. “But yes, maybe.” 

“I grew up with a dog, I think it’s a great experience for kids to have an animal in the house with them.” Tzuyu smiled politely. “I’ve seen you at Chaeyoung’s internship, it’s nice to finally talk to you.” 

“Chaeyoung your girlfriend is so nice,” Momo smiled. 

“Not always,” Momo giggled when Tzuyu visibly elbowed Chaeyoung under the table. “I mean yes, yes she is.” 

“Mama look! Auntie Dahyun got me a necklace!” Nico held up the pendent Dahyun had gotten for her. It had Nico’s birthstone on it along with her birthday specially printed on it. 

“Wow Dahyun you didn’t have to that’s so nice.” 

“No, it’s the least I can do for you and Sana. Sana told me Nico likes necklaces.” Dahyun smiled. “Want me to put it on you Nico-chan?” Nico nodded and sat still as Dahyun put the necklace on her. 

“Thank you so much Dahyun.” Momo smiled at her daughter, who was happily clutching the pendant, which fit around her neck perfectly. 

“Of course, Nico’s a special kid.” Dahyun smiled. “Just like her special mom.” 

“Sana is quite special.” Momo nodded in agreement. 

“How is she?” Nico finally climbed off Dahyun’s lap, sitting in her chair across from Chaeyoung with her crayons and coloring book. 

“She’s doing fine, stable.” Momo sighed, taking a sip of water. 

“I heard about what happened. I saw Sana at the office that day I should have offered her a ride home.” Dahyun’s smile was replaced by a look of regret. 

“We all have regrets from that day.” Momo answered. “At least Sana’s alive.” 

“I would like to visit her soon, if you don’t mind.” Dahyun took a sip of her water. 

“Of course, I’m sure she would be happy to see you.” Momo sighed. 

“Wait I thought your wife was in America?” Chaeyoung asked, Momo’s eyes widening.

“Mommy’s sleeping.” Nico answered, without looking up from her coloring. “She’s at Auntie Mina’s work.”

“Oh Momo, you didn’t tell her?” Dahyun asked, Momo nodding. 

“I didn’t want another person’s pity.” Momo explained. 

“Do you want me to tell her?” Dahyun asked, facing her confused sister and sister’s girlfriend. 

“Please.” Momo looked down, not wanting to look her lies in the face. 

“It was just over six months ago. It was raining. Momo wasn’t picking Sana up and her car was getting maintenance. Sana left the office late, she was finishing up the paper work for her latest case. Sana still stopped by my office to say goodbye, despite it being late. She left and was going to take the subway home, the way she used to before she got a car. On the way to the subway station, when she was crossing the street, Sana was hit by a drunk driver. She’s alive but she’s been in a coma since then.” Dahyun explained. “I think Momo didn’t tell you because she didn’t want pity.” 

“I’m sorry for lying, but it’s been really hard.” Momo was trying her hardest to fight tears. 

“No it’s okay, I understand.” Chaeyoung sighed. “I would have lied too. Some stuff is too painful for new friendships.” 

“Thank you.” Momo whispered. Nico looked around the painfully quiet table and got Dahyun’s attention. 

“Want to color with me?” Nico asked. 

“Why don’t you ask Chaeyoung? She loves coloring.” Dahyun smiled at the kid. Nico nodded and offered her red crayon to Chaeyoung across the tbale, breaking the awkward tension a bit with her childish smile. 

“Wanna color?” Nico asked. 

“Sure.” Chaeyoung smiled at Nico.

xx

By the end of the night Nico makes admirers out of Chaeyoung and Tzuyu. Dahyun gives Momo her new phone number and Momo promises to come with her to visit Sana soon. Nico falls asleep in Momo’s car again, Momo having to take her into Nico’s room and turning on her nightlight before kissing her goodnight and going to her own room. 

That night she talked on the phone for hours with Dahyun. Neither of them could sleep, but Momo was able to talk about things she would never tell Mina, Jihyo, or Nayeon. She had always felt comfortable with Dahyun, but it was nice to share things with someone who knew what she felt. Dahyun felt just as guilty as her, and it was nice to finally get out the nasty feelings Momo had kept hidden from everyone else. Dahyun helped her so much that night, so much Momo even told her about her letters. Dahyun said they were good for her, and for them to be better Momo should put even more of her emotions behind them.

xx

_Dear Sana,_

_Sorry I didn’t write you a letter yesterday, I was with you the whole night. There was a thunder storm and I didn’t want you to be alone so I spent the whole night with you. I saw Dahyun today, her little sister is Chaeyoung. crazy isn’t it? She said she missed you. Dahyun finished your open cases for you, despite working gin criminal law, not sure how she managed that but Dahyun’s smart. She said you won them, so congrats baby. Dahyun got Nico a necklace for her birthday, it has her birthstone on it. Dahyun says it’s genuine, and it was probably a lot of money. I tried to tell her it was fine, but she insisted because of how much we helped her before. Nico already doesn’t want to take it off. Dahyun is going to come visit you soon, she changed her phone number that’s why she hasn’t been able to visit you yet. Nico met Chaeyoung and her girlfriend Tzuyu, we all had dinner with Dahyun. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were a bit awkward around Nico at first but she inherited that from you, everyone loves her. Everyone loves you. Dahyun told me to put more emotion into these letters, says I have built up a lot of bad emotions over time. So I’ll say it. I feel guilty. I feel guilty and sad and sorry as hell. I want you to wake up, but I also want to be realistic. I have hope, but I don’t know if your ever going to wake up and that torments me. But Dahyun is right, there is a balance between hope and realism. I have to believe you’ll wake up soon, and continue my life without you._

_ I love you,  _  
_ Momo _

xx

“Thank you for this Tzuyu.” Momo smiled as she looked over the group of small kittens. 

“Nico deserves it, animals can help people through hard times.” Tzuyu smiled. 

“Chaeyoung has been trying to convince me to buy her a kitten for a while, I finally broke down because this morning Nico made us stop at a cat cafe for so long we were both almost late. I’m realizing I’ve probably waited long enough to get her a cat.” Momo responded, sitting down and letting the kittens crawl on her. One cat in particular sat herself on Momo’s lap, curling her face into Momo’s leg. 

“You can take one home today, but make sure the cat and Nico like each other before committing to an adoption. A cat may be good for you and your daughter but some cats might not like your home as much as others.” Tzuyu explained. “But I think you already found a good one there.” 

“What’s it’s name?” Momo asked, petting the cat in her lap. 

“She doesn’t have a name yet. She’s one of the sweetest cats here, and the runt of her litter. We don’t name the kittens until they are at least three months old because they usually get adopted before then.” Tzuyu answered. 

“I think she’s going to be perfect.” 

xx

“I have a surprise for you.” Momo explained as she picked up Nico. 

“What?” Nico asked excitedly, running from Nayeon’s side to Momo’s. 

“What is it?” Nayeon asked, looking at the crate in Momo’s arms. “Momo no you didn’t.” 

“Look Nico,” Momo set the crate down and had Nico look inside the bars. 

“Kitty!” Nico squealed. “Mama! Kitty!

”“Yup, it’s for you princess.” Momo smiled. 

“Really?!” Nico asked excitedly. 

“Yup.” Nico hugged Momo tightly. 

“Thank you Mama! Thank you!” Momo smiled at how happy her baby. was. 

“You got your daughter a cat?” Nayeon asked. 

“And?” Momo asked. 

“Of course you got your daughter a cat.” Nayeon rolled her eyes. 

“Auntie Nayeon look I got a kitty!” Nico pointed to the crate. “Can she come out?”

“Not until we get home.” Momo explained. 

“Then hurry!” Nico pulled on Momo’s hand. 

“I picked up all the things I need before getting here.” Momo explained to Nayeon. “She deserves this.”

“Your right, she does.” Nayeon nodded with a fond smile as she watched them walk away. 

xx

_ Dear Sana, _

_ So don’t hate me but… I got Nico a cat. She’s been needing a friend and well, it made her really happy. I got it from the shelter Tzuyu works at, and Nico named her Sana. I tried to tell her not to but well, she loves you and she loves her kitten so. And yes it is her kitten, though I will feed it and make sure she has water, it’s Nico’s cat. They are settling into each other well, kitten Sana is even sleeping with Nico tonight. Don’t worry, she’s non shedding. I know you may kill me when you get home, but trust me it’s making her so happy. I’m sorry for not asking you baby, but it’s adorable. I have tons of pictures already. Dahyun visited you today, I wasn’t there because I was getting kitten Sana, but I’m sure it went well. Things have finally started feeling like they are moving again. Like I don’t know, but the world feels like it’s turning again. Maybe I’m finally starting to feel better, who knows I have been feeling less sad lately, something I know you would be happy to hear. I still miss you, but for some weird reason my life feels back on track again. Maybe I should have bought a kitten sooner.  _

_ I love you, _  
_ Momo  _

xx

Momo was right about feeling like her life was back on track. She wasn’t sure what caused it but it finally felt like the world was moving again. Nico’s world had never stopped, and Momo was finally falling into sync with her daughter. It had been seven months now, and Momo felt so much better. 

“Mama Sana is hungry.” Nico held up the kitten. 

“Sana has food.” Momo nodded, looking at the kitten’s bowl. 

“Well maybe Nico is the hungry one…” Nico smiled at her, a toothy smile as she gently set the cat down. Momo admired the cat, she was fine with Nico picking her up and swinging her around and playing with her, a thing most cats would likely hate. 

“Maybe Mama has food for Nico.” Momo ruffled Nico’s hair. “Auntie Mina made you fried rice.” 

“Yay!” Nico smiled, running into the kitchen. Momo laughed and turned the microwave on, looking at a framed photo of Sana sitting in the living room fondly. She blew it a kiss, Momo had finally found her balance of hope and realism in the past week. She felt happy for the first time in so long. Momo looked at her notebook, sitting on the kitchen table. She had let Nico start drawing in it, leaving pictures for Sana instead of letters. It was nearly full now, Momo had bought a new one, a nicer one. It was on her bedside drawer, leather bound and Sana’s name engraved into the leather with a heart and then Momo and Nico’s names below it. 

Momo smiled as she put the plates in front of Nico and her own spot, flipping through the new pages of the notebook. 

“Look at these pretty drawings.” Momo smiled. “Mommy will love these.” 

“Good.” Nico nodded. “I want to write mommy a note this time though.”

“You do?” Momo asked. “I’ll write the letters for you.” 

“In Japanese?” Nico asked. 

“You want it in Japanese?” Momo asked.

“The other ones are in Japanese.” Nico answered. “Mommy likes letters in Japanese.” 

“She does,” Momo smiled. “We can work on it tonight-” Momo was interrupted by her phone ringing. “One second honey,” Nico nodded and continued to eat with her brand new pink chopsticks. Momo picked up the phone, noticing Mina’s voice, strained as if she was crying. 

“Momo you won’t believe it-” 

xx

_ Dear Momo, _

_ Thank you for writing me all these letters. I missed you two so much too, these letters make me feel like I was there. The things may have seemed trivial, but through these lettersI have been able to make up for all the time we lost as a family. Nico grew up a lot, but I’ve noticed she went right back to acting like her normal self lately. Your right, she loves my smell and my side of the bed, but now she spends the night in my arms instead of the bed alone. Thank you for keeping everything the same. You were so strong for me baby. You did so well, raising Nico, taking care of yourself. And I still haven’t forgiven you for the cat. Two Sana’s is confusing, and you got a cat without telling me.I’m not that mad though, Nico loves kitten Sana. I love the cat too, but don’t tell her. Thank you for visiting me, especially when it was raining. I’m sorry for leaving. It was the worst. I’ll never leave you guys again. I love the two of you more than anything, and I’m so thankful you waited for me and wrote me letters and took so many pictures so I could relive everything I missed. Thank you so much. _

_ I love you,  _  
_ Sana  _


End file.
